Chinese Year of the Water Snake, 2013. i sat in a tea shop with two friends. One, born in the year of the Wood Snake thirteen years before me, an expert in astrology. The other, born year of the Earth Snake thirteen years after me, a painter. I was born in 1977 year of the Fire Snake. The astrologer told me this (2013) is my lucky year, or perhaps next year. Such a meeting surely proves it!
Certainly i know that given the end of the Mayan long-count calendar reputedly 21.12.2012 that 2013 is regarded Year Zero, a year outside of time before the beginning of the next cycle. We deserve a year out. Many other calendar priests argue there is no such thing as a year zero, that 2013 is properly measured as year One. Right now with global events and our lives being what they are, most of us agree that we need a year out and the concept is too good to miss celebrating for what it is. Redundant now as i type this it is 24.12.2013, it's drawing to a close whichever calendar you are on.
Tonight i have been researching in the internet and ten minutes ago i discovered a manuscript (see pictures) which has made me laugh deeply. It is an extract from the Introduction to (the 1964 Dover reproduction of 7th Ganesh & Co edition of ) THE SERPENT POWER, The Secrets of Tantric and Shaktic Yoga, by Arthur Avalon (Sir John Woodroffe); first published in 1919 (which was before one of four existing copies of the Popul Vuh was pulled from the Nuremberg book burnings during Second World War by a brave German officer) so it could later be translated).
The Naqshbandi Sufi are the largest Sufi school allied to Islam. Sufism predates Islam and not all of its schools are Islamic. What i learned of Sufism outside direct tutorship of non-islamic Sufi came from studying the writing of Idries Shah. This is not why i began this blog.
"the correspondences … between Asiatic Sastra and … Maya Scripture …"
This is why i began this blog. My online existence is a glimpse at evidence of my more extensive research, that i have been reading mayan carvings and that they teach the same teaching, through their picto-glyphs, as i have previously discovered by translating Egyptian stone carvings through their hieroglyphs!
"Hurakan" or lightning is Kundalini, and the centres are depicted by animal glyphs."
If i had read this book, i probably would not have been doing so much research of my own, assuming 'other scholars' to have achieved the same result a century ago.
Not only has discovering this manuscript reminded me that it is time i wrote up some of my discoveries between feather strands as gradients, precise frequencies measurable (as kHz) so far as our extra-sensory use of chakra mesh/matrix/grid emanations/rays is concerned; it has given me a focus in further research which animals relate to which chakras in the Mayan codice. All these glyphs work multi sense; the do not only speak of the individuals energy field, they speak also of the maths that describes time and space harmonics.
Many of my colleagues this past few decades so feared the grid they sought to distort their own energy fields as much as possible to avoid being pre-empted and betrayed in some way. We need to balance to achieve ascent, we need to ascend to achieve balance. We cannot avoid returning Karma. The ones who battled fate postponed it thus causing more aberration and more karma. It all crunches at the crunch point. And all waveforms are collapsing; the real node point spoken of by the Mayans (2012 alignment prophecy) is very close now, the next few months.
i bought the book and it seems, as my tools are coming as i need them, that this year i will finally be given time to study properly, for which i am deeply grateful.
My introduction to Kundalini came as a natural progression from my since-childhood interest and studies of chakras. in a bookshop in Glastonbury a hand made publication found me, from the OMS called Fire Serpent written by High Priest Victor Corva Penfold, a Romany shaman of the London gypsyry. i bought it along with two other manuscripts available of the five he wrote. It teaches magical sex rituals; studying them with my then partner, we discovered that they work.
In the fourteen years since separating from her, i have not since found any partner willing and interested enough to resume my studies into this. Neither have i met anyone else who achieved that level of percept into reality and through these techniques, which do not seem to be of public knowledge, do not appear available in the internet and are not known of by the official multinational OMS organisation which Victa was involved with, disconcertingly they have told me via email that they do not know who he is. i can only assume that either people are unwilling to talk about this level of reality with fellow adepts or that the existing organisation has forgotten the name of its founding member as well as his core teaching.
Additional 28.12.13:
Only today did the information between 2.13.07 and 2.16.40 on the following video come to me, and it is with perfect timing to round off this blog (posted a few days ago) - it is exactly what I have been talking about here.
For the past 72 hours I have done nothing but drink coffee and make 3D city inside cyberspace. By use of specific materials; light-cursive glass and reflective steel, the cloned square blocks become vortexes, one bouncing off the other ad infinitum, warping like a hall of mirrors. I simply cannot wait to get this hooked up to a VR headset and immerse myself completely.
It is like lego for computer junky grown-ups. Copypaste & Stack. Zoom and Tilt Angle. This is how I have been sorting my head out. I am very aware of the metaphysician approach to language here from the deconstructionist perspective.
I generated the following cityscapes after watching my friend Rachel Dolphindark lovingly explore InSilico district of SecondLife.
What is the proper correct terminology for "cyber urban" ?
The two words almost mirror one another.
Welcome to Cyburbia...
featuring my balcony & scaffolding, Evesham Road
What is most surprising is how similar this digitally generated space and imagery is to paintings done by my contemporary at Cheltenham Art School between '96 and '99 with whom it was my great honour to share a lot of things. Paul Cummings interest in cyber design as shown in examples of his early work here.
Speak both words and imagine that the concepts have diverged due to colloquial accents for the past several hundred years, from a common root idea.
In western astrology, planetary influence of Saturn is associated with TIME.
It is often depicted as an aged man with a long beard.
In practical terms it has more to do with the gridding effect of sequences into a linear structure. (Apopholyte is a gemstone that does this to the electromagnetic particle energy of its surroundings and to the numeric pulse rhythms of any other gemstones in the proximity also, it has some similar properties to Christite - take note how these words both seem in fitting with the language of the christian religions, revealing hidden depths of meaning in its jargon from before the religious aspect took over, markedly during the Gregorian reformation of the 17th century).
I am sure you are familiar with Revelations message of the number of the Beast 666, which "during the end times shall be imprinted on all things".
Relax, it is talking about the end of the Piscean era for which Christianity was originally envisaged as a guide before the dark forces of slavery systematically perverted it. The phrase 'End Times' refers to the religion having served its purpose and being no longer relevant because a better and more relevant approach to spiritual insight will replace it during the Aquarian era - which we are now into.
I mention about 666 being imprinted on everything for this reason:
24 hour clock
60 minutes per hour
60 seconds per minute
This is called 12:60 timescale, it is only one of many possible grid systems for measuring time, one that we are taught is 'satanic' in the 'devil' sense of the word. Indeed it is a far shout from organic natural 13:20 that everything else in the galaxy resonates with.
2+4 = 6
6+0 = 6
6+0 = 6
tonal= 666
Now 'check the time' on your digital watch, computer, cellphone, if you want to grid yourself to a slavery system. An artificial structure designed to cause stress to your biological, emotional and mental functions. That is why it is regarded as 'the devils work'.
"Welcome to the summer of dread. The conservative party's dreams of an England culturally cleansed of 'hippies', 'crusties', 'soap-dodgers' and 'scroungers'. A countryside reclaimed for picnicking Lebensraum for decent suburban folk. A rural idyll unspoiled by dreadlocked, bearded, unwashed, social deviants who will be forced back into the inner-city cesspits from whence they crawled... this is no deranged fascist wet dream. This is the culmination of a determined effort to crush and destroy a multi-cultural, empowering activist lifestyle for no other reason than the besuited gentlemen farmers and merchant bankers of the Conservative Party find it offensive."
2013ad is Year Zero by the Mayan long count. The backdrop of the rise of a fascist state in Britain, two and three generations after my ancestors fought two consecutive world wars to prevent such a thing from happening. A return to Law is required while there is still time, now two years before the 800th anniversary of the signing of the Magna Carta which established in writing a legal system based on the Common Law of our Ancestors (Do not Steal, Do not cause Harm, Do not use trickery, and Keep the Peace) that has become increasingly corrupt and ignored ever since. We are long overdue for and in desperate need of a reformation. The near future will be one of political reform.
This summer I was fortunate to take time out of my research and educational work, to be a part of the four day long Green Man festival in the black mountains of Wales. It is located on an ancient riverbed and halfway up the hillside.
One thing that I did notice during the festival, living in high energy nature and away from Babylon, the urban wilderness, cellphone and wifi radiation, is that my sperm production has doubled!
Green Man is the best organised, cleanest festival I have ever been to, although it has been nearly fifteen years since the last big festival I went to, other than the occasional free party and traveller rave during my twenties. Green Man is safe for kids and has a lot of facilities for them, divided into 'younger' and 'older' categories (toddlers/pre-teens and pre-teens/teens in two separate zones). The site is gorgeous! Open spaces as important as music stages, food and trinket shops. Some of the trees here in a grove between the healing field and the main circuits are otherworldly.
Main things; my 3 year old got to see Patti Smith live!
Unfortunately I missed Julian Cope (Teardrop Explodes & the Modern Antiquarian) speaking due to the festi timetable being a fiver more than I had.
The drum workshop was amazing, smoke-filled-bubbles machine, heated showers, toilets cleaned twice a day, every food tent a different nationality from African souk to hippy chai, fresh fried fish and quinoa to full english breakfast.
Many thousands of people living communally, a state of original-sense anarchy (not needing government) with not one policeman on site throughout; surely this alone says it all.
I walked around the festi where there were many dreadlocks feeling at home, being respected and smiled at simply for their presence, in my mind floated the phrase 'the gathering of tribes' from a 1999 exhibition 'a century of fashion' which predicted a culture that has become relevant now.
I was at Glastonbury festival at Pilton in the year of the mud (and I still have green toenails from it despite wearing Doc Martens at the time, as trained by my early teenage years of Riot Grrl / Grunge generation vying with Goth and Reggae for my attention before becoming a full blown festi-born new-age traveller as now forever stereotyped). That pre-millenial festival was regarded by many at a time of global tsunami and maelstrom flooding to be Mother Earth speaking; remember what you are, remember nature! Walking barefoot at the Green Man I very soon got back into the festi spirit, watching/feeling several grids of the different festi spirits as they arranged coincidental experiences, time-synced events and meetings while everything falls into its own natural harmonic.
The Green Man is Renewal cycle of nature; a british deity symbolized by an oak-leaf faced man. To many this signifies Druidism in its honorific state and the association with Oak Trees, of which are many and ancient on the Glanusk Estate in where the festival has been located for the past three of its ten years; although Celts have been worshipping the Green Man for countless generations, it is one of the earliest recorded traditional british imagery seen on pagan artefacts, so important that like Sheela Na Gig it was absorbed into British christian temple carvings prior to the Gregorian reformation.
The cycle of renewal. It was followed by a hard minimal techno set the likes of which I haven't seen for a decade either, and which helped inspired me to get into making my own techno music.
"Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free.” Rumi
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke.
3.9.13 Evidently I came back from the Green Man festival feeling a strong political message! Time has flown by since and I have not had time to sit down, look through the photo's and finish this blog until today.
I wash my dredlocks twice a week, once with water and once with knotty boy organic dredlock soap, one bar of which lasts roughly six months if thats all you do with it.
Some people don't wash their dreds at
all, apparently I over-wash them. As a consequence my dredlocks are dry
as brittle hay, so I researched on the internet into methods to
rejuvenate them.
Can't use wax because it binds dirt into the core of the dred for ever. Can't use chemicals because it deconditions the hair even worse. Henna is great for refreshing damaged hair but again, dirt in the core.
I don't have any coconut butter until that arrives for me to experiment with, so for today it comes down to herbal washes to add oil back into the dry hair.
I have been growing rosemary in my herb garden and have plenty of it, so this blog is really about the seemingly obvious process of cutting it, cleansing it, shredding it, simmering it in water for five minutes, potting the juice until it cools (as a fresh organic substance it goes mouldy if you don't freeze it to store it), and in this case soaking it into my drylocks and allowing it to naturally dry.
The juice tastes bitter and oily; oilyness that swirls around in the pot as it cools. This is the oil I need to get into my hair!
After watching and learning some of his daddy's herbalism my 3 year old helped me immensely by pouring the luke-warm juice onto my dreds, which hopefully will help him overcome his dislike of having his own hair washed.
In fantasy role-playing games
there is a contrast between ‘good’ Lawful magic and ‘evil’ Chaos magic. In real
life the development of magickal systems is somewhat less decisive.
A brief history of Chaos Magick
In the latter half of the
twentieth century, Peter Carroll co-founder of the Illuminaries of Thanateros
(sex and death) published Psychonaut and Libre Null outlining chaos magick
theory and establishing a new system for magickal results that dispenses with
dogma of previous systems such as those of the Hermetic Tradition dating back
thousands of years through classical Greek to ancient Aegyptian. Carrolls
development followed Austin O Spares development of a useful functional
sigilism system after his having had some dealing with Aliester Crowley’s
reinvention of the Order of the Golden Dawn.
This stuff works. Use of
perception and especially altered perception to change external reality by
focused power of Belief. Rituals are order-of-the-day, utilizing whatever
symbology and concepts are available at the time. This is neither black, nor
white, because it is beyond such polarization. It is about Change.
“Chaos magick affords the
magician the kind of freedom to be able to use anything that is desired in
magick, regardless of its origin or structure. Gnosis in chaos magick is a form
of Intent that creates the path in the mind necessary for the Will to enact
what the magician wants to create. The use of the Will for a formula for
success.” Venus Satanus
By Year Zero (2013ad) the
language used by Carroll is dated. For example, his use of the word ‘desire’
for ‘intent’ has a theological bias at contrast with integration of the
Buddhist related school, wherein desire actively blocks us from true
perception. While this was not Carrolls concern (he discusses the two paradigms
being mutually exclusive and defends it well), it is important as Chaos Magick
theory and philosophy develops. One cannot be a successful psychonaut while
ignoring the importance and validity of the uses and training of mind which the
Zen has to offer, especially since no-mind is the objective of both, as it is
for the Mayan sorcerers pursuit of objective observation.
The problem all practitioners
face is the overwhelming dogma projected by existing group mind, the collective
consciousness. Methods for liberating the mind from attachment to such dogma
becomes the major focus of the practitioner. This relates to what Don Matus
taught Don Carlos about ‘the sorcerers of old’ who would perform any number of
extreme atrocities attempting to achieve results.
“The pain that we feel is the Love we with-hold.” Vassaius
Human society out there is fucked. It is so full of mind programmes to
screw you up, to screw up positive relationships. Most of it is about
insecurity and control, domination and doubt. Most of it is about
Slavery. It affects us all.
Our ancestors were proud human beings. They were dealing with real issues. They were pragmatic realists.
We here have decided to remember our roots. We are proud human beings.
We are strong enough to do what it takes to get things right, within our
group of people.
We cannot change government. But we can change
ourselves and our immediate community. This is done with Positivity,
with Love, and with Acceptance.
In any tribal community there are
wisdom keepers, there are natural leaders. I do not want to be a leader.
I am doing what I must do to heal the social sickness. This statement
is a part of that.
Our primary goal is for everyone to be happy.
Our primary goal is for the kids to be safe, so they can teach us a
purer insight than we can access from our compromised integrities.
Humans are a tribal species, it is how we are designed to thrive. We
look up to indigenous tribal communities for the wisdoms that we have
forgotten, so we can implement them into western societies.
There
is a simple human rule in any tribal group; if you are not working for
the good of the tribe, then you are not part of the tribe. Other than
this, the generally accepted Common Law of our Ancestors is as follows;
Keep the Peace, do not harm, steal or use trickery. This should be all
we need to live successfully as a prosperous community. Any problems
where they are not resolved from inside the group harmony, are from
outside of it. There is an old maxim; together we win, divided we fall.
This is the uprising of Human Culture amidst a toxic consumerist
debt-slavery system.
Our contexts and our concepts must be changed,
as part of the transition. The goal is sustainable permaculture and
community support. Any thought or feeling that becomes an action should
be one of positive energy, we are stripping our world of negativity by
sidelining the sociopaths. This is a survival necessity.
"Only the Insane have Strength enough to prosper; Only those who prosper truly judge what is sane."
Warhammer 40,000
Cognitive Dissonance is a mental health disorder where the
sufferer prefers to believe the dogma of la-la-land, rather than to accept
reality, even when reality presents valid proof that the situation is the way
it is.
When a person has been recognized as suffering from
cognitive dissonance, we must re-evaluate them as a mental health sufferer, no
matter what position they hold in society and no matter who or what they
themselves believe themselves to be.
Cognitive Dissonance undermines all sense of self as authority, despite job
title, income, etc. It is officially recognized as a real mental health
disorder. It is rampant in many western cultures, to the extent that ‘mental
plague’ is a valid phrase in establishing what is going on in our communities,
and in shifting from one paradigm (culturally repressed) to another (accepting
a wider reality).
When a doctor misdiagnosed my father as having indigestion,
which later turned out to be bowel cancer, a normal person would consider the
doctor be at fault. The doctor defends this by replying that he simply did what
his computer told him, diagnosing the ailment according to the database.
A sane person would not return to use the same doctor.
Following this, my father returned to the same doctor and
told him that I hear voices. “My son hears voices” were the exact words he
used. Then my father forced me into going to see the doctor. I objected on the
basis that the doctor misdiagnosed him and therefore I do not trust this doctor’s
professional opinion.
The doctor said to me; “I have been informed that you hear
voices.”
Very laterally I replied; “how can I respond to that other than in the
affirmative?” By which I meant that my ears are working fine, or I would not
have heard his voice as he told me his statement.
“That is a classic textbook symptom of schizophrenia. I am
now referring you to the local mental health team.”
What the? I was too shocked to respond at the time.
The mental health team visited me one by one to get their
head around me.
First, the Witch (wearing square shoes, gloves and purple eyes, as described in Roald
Dahl’s book the Witches. Possibly she wore purple contact lenses.) listened to
me relate about how I had been stressed recently because I had been gang
stalked, by a crew who were so inept that I have photographs of them. I went to
the police about it and the desk sergeant jovially told me it was probably the
undercover police themselves who were following me. No help there then.
The Witch told me that she believed I was lying. Although
like everyone she is free to believe anything she wants, I was immediately
suspicious of her intent. I offered to show her the photographs and she told me
it was not necessary and that she would write in her report that I am a
prolific liar.
I recognized both that she was abusive in her position and that she suffers
from cognitive dissonance and should therefore be regarded as mentally ill and
functionally unstable, so much as it had affected her work related objectivity.
I reported this exact statement by telephone to the secretary of the mental
health team, who told me I would not have to see the woman again, they would
send a different person to analyze me. I am always a little upset at use of the
word analyze because it is so similar to an adjective describing bum sex, and
so far I most definitely felt that the system was fucking me up the arse.
A week later the Pusher arrived to ask me why I had given up
smoking cannabis. I explained that I no longer needed it, the addiction was
affecting my life too much, and the irony was that it was not until after I had
quit that I began being followed by inept gang stalkers who the police were
claiming worked for them. I assume this situation to be the vendetta of my
ex-dealer for leaving his syndicate, or simply sods law.
The Pusher asked if I had ever heard of the psychedelic
rainbow, with basic soft drugs at one end and far out cosmic shit at the other
end. He explained to me that the new skunkweed was as powerful as LSD and thought
it was a shame that I had picked this time to quit smoking weed.
I wondered if he was taking the piss, or testing me, or was
genuinely into this stuff. I told him that I had left the drug scene and was
confused by his attempts to woo me back into it given that he is a state worker
in his official capacity and that the state are at war on drugs; despite
Holland shutting down prisons because their 20 years of decriminalized cannabis
means there is much less crime in their country, because as everyone agrees,
cannabis has helped strengthen the community awareness. Compared with Britain
where reliance on criminal behaviour increases the police industry which
strengthens the government. At that time the Home Secretary Teresa May had not
yet issued a public statement, quote; “We are policed by consent” to which most
sane members of the community chant in chorus; “I do not consent to be
governed!”
I told him that CBD is a component of cannabis that is shown in
independent trials to cure mental health disorders such as the alleged
schizophrenia misdiagnosis, wheras THC is the component known to cause altered and expanded states of perception utilized by shamen for many thousands of years the world over. Given that I had previously been ingesting CBD, shown to cure schizophrenia, why did the mental health computer tell them that cannabis actually causes schizophrenia. He could not answer this.
The Pusher then offered me three pharmaceutical drugs.
First, Seroxat; I explained how I happen to know a guy who successfully sued
the NHS for prescribing him that shit, when tests have shown it to make people
suicidal and depressed, and that is why it is now illegal. Obviously his
department has a stockpile of it to get rid of.
He offered me a different chemical the name of which I forgot, the side effect
of which would cause me to grow boobs and lactate. Momentarily I wondered if he
was trying to get me into some kinky bisexual fetish. I declined this drug on
the basis that I do not really wish to be taking drugs that have a more severe
effect on me than the ones which I had previously managed to quit, and also
that sounds like a pretty fucked up drug.
So he offered
me a third drug, the side effects of which are audio hallucinations.
I asked him what good it would do, giving someone who is misdiagnosed because
he hears voices as audio hallucinations, a chemical that would cause him to
hear audio hallucinations. Respectfully I declined on the basis that I really
would like to be able to tell which are the real imaginary voices from which
are the fake imaginary voices, and asked that he write in his report that my
answer should be construed as a sign of someone of sane mind. I do not know if
he did, I have not been able to get a copy of any of these reports because the
NHS claim they have lost my case file.
I spoke with the secretary of the mental health team and
requested that I do not have to deal with the Pusher again on the basis that he
is cognitive dissonant if he thinks the stuff he was telling me was in any way
sane and rational. A week later they sent me Dr Bye, who was lovely except that
she and my father were old friends, sharing jokes and causing me to wonder what
was going on behind the scenes between these two that I was not privy to. She
treated me respectfully with an empathic sincerity that I appreciated,
listening without judging, not making stupid comments and simply being really
good at her job, so it seemed. Professional and by the book. She got me in
contact with a social worker who was brilliant, who managed to get me the
benefits I was actually entitled to which doubled my income, and helped me take
ATOS to court after they threw me off of benefits because they didn’t believe
the diagnosis either.
I asked all three of these mental health professionals
exactly which textbook is it that describes the symptoms of hearing voices to
be schizophrenia, rather than ‘not deaf’. Nobody has ever answered me that to
date.
At around this time, the BBC in conjunction with the NHS
made a short documentary about schizophrenia, which I did not see but I did
read their booklet to accompany the documentary, and it states that one of the
symptoms of schizophrenia is the denial of being schizophrenic. This means that
anybody who claims they are not schizophrenic is exhibiting symptoms of being
schizophrenic. This is lateral thinking, which in laymans terms means ‘stating
the obvious’ or ‘telling it as it is’. Any notion of a hidden or layered
subtext and of referential discourse in relation to the schizophrenia sufferer
is highly valid and relevant merely by its use, in terms of having two
different types of cognitive awareness occurring simultaneously. Lacking in any
proper definition of what schizophrenia is (as all of the state experts seem to
do), the phrase ‘having two different types of cognitive awareness occurring
simultaneously’ itself takes on an interesting and extremely contrary meaning.
At this point I wave the Cognitive Dissonance flag again. After another session attended by both my social worker and Dr Bye, during which I spoke about the reality of extra-dimensional beings, magick and how nobody had yet asked me about childhood abuse that might be the root cause of any mental health problems I could be perceived to be suffering, I was released from assessment observation with the words "not in need of psychiatric counseling." It is now officially documented that I do not need psychiatric counseling. I am one of very few people in this category; everyone else is suspect.
It is my belief that all of this has occurred so that my
paranoid and manipulative father can attempt to discredit me because I was a
risk to his divorce proceedings after witnessing him snogging his colleague in
a pub doorway during the six months prior to all this. He also told me afterward that Dr Bye is now dead so there is no point in me trying to contact her again.
It is my Common Law Right, believing and asserting myself to be of sane
mind, that I am a conscientious and empathic Adult; and
as the only true representative of myself, having never granted right
of attorney to any other, to make a PUBLIC NOTIFICATION on and for the
record, that:
I do not suffer from schizophrenia as alleged; that any
such claim having been made was an act of misdiagnosis and professional
misconduct, with myself positioned as injured party.
Furthermore, I
hereby assert myself and by my own words to be a sane and sensible, educated natural Human being. Given the above, and in context of the prevailance of Cognitive Dissonance mental health
disorder running unchecked in this society, I hereby assume the role of both Adult and Alpha Male, with accumulated life experience beyond and outside of the limited and limiting belief structure of the majority of individuals with whom I interact or am likely to interact with.
"Like computers, human brains may be vulnerable to hackers. Technology is already allowing scientists to read people's thoughts and even plant new ones in the brain."
These are the exact same sort of statements that I was making, which gave my father the idea to tell his doctor that I was 'hearing voices'. Whether my own brain has been hacked is apparently open to public question.
The following photographs from pre-2008. This is the crew who were gang-stalking me. I could hardly believe my eyes when I came out of the post office to see all of them there in a huddle! Lucky I had my camera phone with me.
A Slut is somebody promiscuous. You
are designed to be.
If you have grown up in a slaver culture, you will probably
have a lot of issues about this which will affect your relationship with those
who you claim to love, while using the word incorrectly because what you
actually mean is ownership.
A genuine loving relationship accepts reality and
equality. Control relationships are abusive relationships and Slavery is
against the Law despite the mainstream ignoring that in their daily routines
and preconceptions of righteousness. You do not have to choose this option.
It
is not your place to judge how any other person lives provided they are doing
so safely and respectfully. Sluts are typically liberterian and polyamorous,
all of which is as nature intends. God said ‘we should be with the one we get
along with best’ which does change regularly for most people whose lives are
worth living.
A spiritualist once explained to me that most people are in a
situation of not meeting ‘the one’ even if such a thing does exist, and on
average you are probably at least two years away from meeting someone you will
get along with well enough to settle down with for a while.
Meanwhile you will
biologically need sex within the next few days. Given this situation, does it
not seem probable that we are supposed to be experimental and promiscuous as a
species? Sex is a biological necessity the same as shitting and eating. People
who have regular sex are much healthier, mentally emotionally and physically,
than those who abstain from pleasure. What is wrong with pleasure? You are
designed for it.
A Slag is someone who bitches about other people, grasses them up to the police
after setting them up for a crime they did not do, causes trouble, is out for
themselves and highly manipulative bordering on psychosis. These people are
abusers and losers, and are not tolerated in the positive and successful community.
Sluts can be ethical. Slags are unscrupulous. That is the real difference.
What went wrong with mainstream
culture is repression ideology. Sex is power, therefore those who want to
control you encourage us to feel bad about being empowered and having fun doing
it. Religion is the main ‘to blame’, followed by segregation and division of
tribal communities into isolated family units. Emphasis on jealousy instead of
emphasis on empathic emotional support indicates a problem situation.
Love. Acceptance, forgiveness, and
genuine stability make any couple strong enough to withstand the reality that
you will find other people attractive, that you will likely receive offers of
mutual pleasure from other people. Love is always giving.
In counseling sessions, two important
questions emerged that are healthy to contemplate:
What is your problem with pleasure?
What is your problem with other people experiencing pleasure without you?
It should be mentioned first that Selene gave birth to a black queen and two toms, who opened their indigo blue eyes today. This blog follows on from river-of-instinct for the reason that my recent blog sets the stage for the events recalled here in this one. I was invited as band photographer for a gig by my friends,
who were headlining at the Parrot, Carmarthen for the Carmarthen festival of electronic music, the after-event for the sadly under-exciting annual town festival of music.
I
tried to do my John Peel thing but got caught up between the roles of
photographer, audio archivist and dancer. Sadly I didn't check to see
if the recorder was working properly and I still don't know how much it
recorded because my life is too hectic to catch up with itself. So the
disc has gone in the big box of unlabelled recordings until further
notice.
Mid-way through the set a very brave young hipster got upon stage and began singing along, tribal intonation chants. After an initial confusion and concern that the stage was being crashed, during which the band very professionally kept on playing without missing a beat, her impromputu act was a hit!
After the gig the band and I needed a place to stay and it turned out to be her place. By then I was exhausted and I fell asleep and missed the after-show 's after-show party, which was gatecrashed by some typical psycho's of the type Caermarthen town produces, chanting "pedophile pedophile rape rape" and doing dirty chemical drugs, getting attention by being as nasty as they can get away with and believing it to attract sex in their direction. Perhaps it does. It was the first party I have been to for nearly a decade and I was probably the oldest person there, watching people go through experiences I had already done by my twenties and experiences I don't ever want to go through. Reality check = sleep time!
On the altar of the living room table was a box which had the very same symbol I had seen before, from a drawing in the Fighting Fantasy book. It had come to my attention because Phoenix had been offered a life choice, of the sort to be found in the Temple of a Thousand Doors from the Never Ending Story; every room has two exit doors, each marked by a similar and related symbol, and you choose which one to go through.
The rapper Ozzy had offered to import Phoenix to Turkey to be his Turkish bride (see Sun door), and instead of this path which according to Ian Livingstone's Temple of Terror is the Path of Doom, she chose to stay here instead (see Moon door).
Unfortunately I did not got a photograph of the box with the Night
symbol from the altar.
The table was a sheet of glass balanced upon a
black stone lifesize bear cub, reminding me of a story from the Canadian
indians of Wakim the bear cub who ran so fast up a mountain that he
took off and flew up into the sky to become the little bear
constellation.
The next day Phoenix arrived at my place with a book called Cat Spells. We're calling the black queen Midnight.
“One of the main things, the
Sphere system itself was already done by that point.
One of the things that really drew me to Mage, I never liked playing magic
users. I found them boring,. For me, for every other roleplaying system up
until Mage, it was; you’re a weak little dude who runs around and you got this
big book of spells that as a character and a player you have to memorize, and a
spell does this much by this much for this many turns, and it does this; its
all very mechanical.
I’m pagan. I’m pagan to a degree
I believe in magic, I’m familiar with the way that magic works in the real
world, whether you’re looking at that as art or as a fantasy construct or as a
belief system. And its not like that. It’s not a ten by ten square of effect
and a dice for every level of the magic user. I never liked that. I always
played thieves and fighters and stuff like that. I never wanted to play a magic
using character until I read the manuscript for Mage 1st edition. I
said holy fucking shit; Magic is an extension of the mage, Yes! That’s the way
it works.
The Sphere system is definitely
cumbersome, it can get very frustrating to work with. Mage is one of those
games where its either its fantastically easy and intuitive for the people with
that kind of mindset and its phenomenally complicated and brain breaking for a
different mindset. One of the things I realized is this is going to be one of
those games that only the right people like. A number of people are not going
to like it. I’m coming to the table with the knowledge that some people will
absolutely hate this. I’m not going to make it trying to please everybody I’m
going to make it for the people who get it. Of all of the stuff in Mage I think
the thing the original designers did absolutely right is that concept that
magic is an extension of the person who uses it.
A big part of what I brought into
that was the idea of reinforcing the belief of the mage, taking the mechanical
element of Foci which you discard when you get to this part and extending it to
the Foci of your ritual tools which are a symbolic extension of your beliefs.
You believe in something and because you believe in something you believe the
world works like this. Because you believe the world works like this you use
this tool to direct your Intention this way, thus you use the tools that
channel your belief toward your desire end. As Crowley said it; ‘Magic is the
art and the science of altering reality in conforming with will.’ That’s what I
wanted to bring to it. That element was originally there but I wanted to
reinforce that what you’re doing when using the spheres is you’re taking you’re
belief and you’re changing the world with it, rather than just ‘I cast my
fireball at you, ha ha ha’."
Arete (pronounced: ah’ret’tay)
"It’s a Greek word. It means
excellence, translates roughly to excellence. Getting Arete is not just a
matter of spending points on it; its also a matter of the Seeking. The concept
of seeking is already there but I wanted to play it up more. The idea that you
didn’t just spend points to get better, you had to actually expand your
consciousness. Arete in a rough English translation for it is excellence, is
achievement, understanding, it doesn’t have a direct English translation to it
but what it means is to cultivate your heroic self to a greater level.
Not just Power. Because power is
not excellence. This is one of my
primary themes throughout Mage. Power is a trap. At times it is necessary to
have power. It is necessary to understand that you can claim power from within
yourself. But most people look at power as something to take from people, and
to have. To put yourself over people. We see the results of that every day, everywhere
from the schoolyard bullies to abusive parents to rapists to dictators to the
bankers who find that there is absolutely nothing wrong with impoverishing
whole nations, as long as they get theirs. That’s why power is a trap. That’s
one of the other primary things that I brought to Mage was the paradox (small p
paradox) that in order to be a Mage you had to understand how to claim power
and to have the confidence which is another aspect of Arete, the confidence to
wield power. But you had to understand that if you pursued power for its own
sake you will destroy yourself and everybody around you. Which is also an
intrinsic part of many real world magical practices.
So I wanted to make it that
getting Arete is more than just a point spending exercise in order to allow you
to throw more dice around; it is actually involves roleplaying challenges,
storytelling challenges and the growth of the character and going back to that
Aspecting thing; the growth of the player through reflecting on what her
character does and what her character is like.
One of the things I always wanted
is; What do I the player walk away with after a game? I might have some cool
stories but do I learn anything for the real world? Can I bring anything from
that into the real world? We look at the things that our characters can do and
we go; ‘hmm so that’s what my fantasy self does, what can my real self do?’ And
the idea of expanding Arete to a greater level; how you expand the character
and yourself, not just the amount of dice you can throw when you throw a
firebolt down mainstreet."
Quintessence
"The wheel of quintessence was
something that was established when I got there. In terms of how I personally
view quintessence, first and foremost it’s a game mechanic. How I view it as a
metaphysic: I see it as the quantum energy beneath and within all things. It is
a theory of quantum physics that all space is occupied in some form or another,
that molecules have… that there is this unstable state, that what we perceive
as solid matter is more of an illusionary concept, that we place molecules
into, than it is their natural state. Quintessence is what is called in Taoism
the Unformed Block. Quintessence is the essence of possibility within all
things that is shaped and channeled to become what we see and perceive and work
with. It is both flowing energy and, static is the wrong word, and stationary.
It is the unchosen possibility. Once you choose it, it takes a certain state.
It’s the state of Shroedingers cat when you haven’t opened the box. All this
goes into the high flung metaphysic that Mage is infamous for. Essentially its
unformed possibility and that’s what mages work with, is unformed possibility.”
Paradox
“Reality is like thunderdome:
when two realities enter, one reality leaves.” Mage20
“One of the fundamental elements
of what Mage became came out of endless conversations, endless 3, 4, 5 o’clock
in the morning talks, we would spend hours talking about what is Reality? What
is Quintessence? That’s frequently when we came up with our best ideas.
I realised through some of those
conversations that the core element of Paradox is a Mage causes two realities
to exist simultaneously. Only one of them can exist at that time. If the Mage
is subtle enough, informed enough, enlightened enough, knowledgeable enough and
strong willed enough, her reality will triumph. If she’s not, the overwhelming
weight of reality will go [slap] with her. That’s essentially what Paradox is.
When I had that realization I was like, that’s what Paradox is. Both in terms
of game mechanics and in terms of the setting.
All the groups have different;
‘oh the paradox effect is this’, and ‘oh paradox is this’, ‘no its god
punishing you’, ‘no it’s the weight of static reality’, ‘it’s the punishment of
the technocracy and the enforcement of oppression upon our kind’.
No. What it is; you are changing
the course, you are diverting the current. I describe it as: Think of reality
as flowing water. You can step into it, you can splash around in it, you can
submerge yourself in it, but if you get a big boulder and drop it in the
middle, its probably going to knock your feet out from under you and then
you’ll drop it on your head. Unless you drop the boulder very carefully don’t
drop it on your feet, at which point reality will go around it. But reality is
not going to stop because you dropped a boulder in it; reality keeps going.
Your boulder or your effect on reality is going to splash back on you. The
bigger you try to make it, the more its going to splash back on you.
Coincidental magic is not just hiding your magic so the technocracy doesn’t get
you; coincidental magic is going; huh, zen. What can I do the most effect with
the least amount of disruption? Its like Aikido. What you’re trying to do is
take reality and go, instead of going, I punch reality and punch it in the
face! Well reality punches you back. And if you punch hard enough you might
give reality a bloody nose, and then reality will kick your arse. But if you
can use aikido on it, which is part of what Tao is, its reality-aikido. Its
taking reality and making reality flow, as opposed to making reality punch you.
Every once in a while you have to punch reality in the face and hope it doesn’t
punch you back.
Which is another one of the
(small p) paradox of being a mage. By being a mage you change reality, you
redirect reality, you pit yourself against reality and you realize you have to
be stable enough, strong enough, knowledgeable enough and confident enough to
do it. By doing that you risk everything; you risk yourself, you risk damaging
the world around you, you risk the things and the people you love, you risk
your beliefs. Sometimes you have to risk, which is another essential part of
how I believe real life actually works, and its one of the things I have heard
a lot of people who love Mage have said; ‘Mage inspired me to believe in myself
and believe I could change the world’. That is something that I absolutely
believe in. Not only can we change the world but we have a responsibility to
change the world.
The reality of the world is,
especially these days, the reality of the world is that there are a lot of
motherfuckers out there. There are s lot of selfish, greedy, stupid, blockheads
out there who want to sit on top of you, who want to sit on top of the things
and the people who you value, who want to crush you for their own gain. They
will do it if you let them. Don’t fucking let them! And I don’t mean don’t let
them as in become one of them; I mean stand up to them and realize that you are
not powerless. That to me is the core. If there is one take away from my
approach to Mage, if I had to sum it up in one sentence it is this; you are not
powerless.
And the paradox of realizing you
are not powerless is that it is very very easy to become one of those
oppressors if you’re not careful. That is one of the elements I have running
through it is that the Technocracy is corrupt. The Marauders obviously are
fucking scary. The Traditions are corrupt. The more these Mages get powerful,
the more their power oppresses other people. They have to have the power to change the world, that’s what
they’re there for. But they become as Pete Townsend put it, meet the new boss
same as the old boss. Your small p paradox in Mage is you have the power, you
must use the power, but the power can destroy you and everything you hold dear.
But you must use it; use it carefully."
Awakening
"Your personal beliefs are the
things that shape your vision of the world, they are also going to shape your
magic. They are going to shape the way your magic affects the world for other
people. The awakening moment is when you realize that you are not powerless.
When you realize that you have the potential to change reality, you have the
potential to move the world. You have the potential to be a god, and you
realize that. Not just; ‘oh wow, like I can like cast magic, you mean like magic
is real, oh wow let me get out my tarot cards and like foretell your future?’
No. It’s the moment where physically, mentally, spiritually, energetically, you
go; holy fuck I get it. That’s a real thing.
Mage the Ascension is a metaphor
for a lot of stuff but at the core of all the game fictions and the constructs
and the spheres and the world changing magics and all of that, there is this
ultimate realization of; wait a minute, I can do this. That realization on a
metaphysical level is what the Awakening is. It’s the moment of; holy shit, I’m
not powerless, I’m not a drone, I’m not a slave to reality and I’m not a slave
to what other people enforce on me.
Another small p paradox of the
mage is that by realizing this the mage suddenly gets swept up onto a whole
other level of being played as a pawn and has to deal with that.
The Awakening is whether, the
Awakening could be like the sort of thing you are if you were raised in a
mystical culture and ‘oh yes, my ancestors gave me this thing and I went on a
vision quest and grandmother spider came to me and told me that I could and I
followed the vision and I did it’ or it could be the catastrophic moment where
somebody busts into your house, sets it on fire, ties you to the bed, runs out
laughing and you go; ‘No! This will not happen!’ It really depends on the
character. And the Awakening itself is a fundamental part of the character and
the characters story. Everyones is different.”
from the Fragile Path
Interviewer: “With this idea of
Cabals and Chantries, what kind of things will we be seeing in Mage 20 with
regard to that element?”
“It’s people. It’s the human
element. That’s one of the small p paradox. One of the first lines of Mage20 is
‘the problem with men and gods is too many men think they’re gods and too many
gods act like men’.
One of the driving ideas of the
mage society is even when you have all these high flown ideals, even with all
of these powers, even with this ‘I can conceive of the nature of reality, look
the motes of quintessence out of thin air and weave them’; you’re still a
fucking human being. That’s also a paradox, one of the things that drives the
older mages crazy, particularly Porthos, my avatar and aspect during those
days, one of the things that drove Porthos crazy is the recognition that they
have the power of a god but he was still a man, with human urges, human
grudges, human ideals and aspirations, human limitations, human frailties,
loves, passions, aggravations, and the power to throw mountains, and he had the
responsibility he felt to change the world for the better. But he found himself
going; ‘I don’t know what better is any more, after five hundred years I don’t
know what that looks like. Oh crap, what am I now’?
On a smaller level cabal
politics, on a larger level the factions and the various different, whether
you’re talking about the Nephandi or Marauders or Traditions, they’re still
functioning with the same question; I am a person with inhuman powers. And an
inhuman duty, responsibility, desire to use them. But I am still a person; I
still fuck, I still shit, I have cramps, I have headaches, I have loves and I
have wounds and I have these things in me and I have to be careful with what I
do with them. But those things make me who I am.
I’m not a vampire remembering who
I was years before, I’m not a spirit synthesis of human spirit and beast, I’m
not a ghost, I’m not a changeling left behind by the Faye or transformed; I’m a
human being with inhuman powers and an inhuman place in the grand scheme of
things. And sometimes that can be as big as the self destruction of Dositep
where basically you had these four hundred, three hundred, five hundred year
old high school students blow the place and each other to bits over their
internal rivalries. Or you have;
I was playing in a game back in
the 90s. I don’t remember the exact story, her lover and cabal mate had died
horrible and been damned and her character fell into a gorrible depression. She
was drinking and drugging and fucking everyone in the bar just to blot out the
fact that her lover was damned and she knew it and couldn’t do anything about
it. And my character the unaligned mage was like, here take my hand. And opened
up the spheres for her, just one level, just the perceptions, lets go for a
walk. They went hand in hand for a walk in the park with the spheres on, all
the ones that they had. And Jennifer says just look, you don’t have to do
anything, just look at how wonderful how the world is. And that pulled her out
of the depression. Not because I had used mind to rearrange emotions but because
I just said; this is who we are; just look at what we can see.
And that I guess
is another major theme in Mage. Look at the world with bigger eyes. Look at the
world with a more expansive view. Because its not this little fucking consumeristic
box that we are sold, where you get up and you go and do your thing and you buy
stuff and you come back and watch the television and take orders from
everybody. It can be bigger than that. It can be better than that. And when you
look at how much bigger and better than it can be; it is better."
