capimaon cycle

enochian, meaning; "numbers of time"
a graphic novel

this is a series of unfinished art I made in photoshop in 2005 when I was hanging out with a dune cat who also happened to be a vampire film director. although her movie project that i got involved with was a zombi movie.

I had been praying to the cat goddess Bastet to bring me luck. I know she listens to me. Following a trip to Egypt I had awoken one night in my city apartment for an unknown reason and felt a strong urge to peek through the window. I looked down to the garden walls that extend either side of the main doorway to the flats and I saw two cats sitting one either side of the doorway. I am sure you are familiar with such stone carved iconography on the temples of the ancient east african light cult.

[insert pic of temple gate with twin cats]

Time works differently when you enter the mystical dimensions.
Another half moon, later. I walked into town following a hunch, guided by my instincts into the library. Zooport city library has many interesting books hidden in its vaults which are available to look at in the upstairs reference section, through which other mysterious and rare books can be loaned from other libraries upon request for photocopying and perusal.

I will not mention such books as I have used this facility for other than as an aside to this story, two items which are of interest now that I am discussing my relation with the reference library.

Here I read an english language translation of the Dead Sea Scrolls which taught me a great deal about the actual definitions of the (spiritually aware) Living and the (spiritually blind) Dead. These make fascinating reading and explain much about the events occurring after the scattering of the egyptian high culture and also the education of Christ the man, if you believe in such legends. The Essenean cult.

Here also I read the malificeum malifarium, that abysmal and naive handbook by which many medieval knowledge holders of europe were murdered for the crime of being witches, by the christian church of the holy roman empire.

On this occasion I made my way down from the internet consoles which are on a high wide balcony overlooking the lending library, and felt drawn magnetically toward the kiosk where books are checked in and out. The staff there know me by name for I frequent the library regularly, despite my still currently owing them a fine of uk£13 for forgetting to return a book on time last year.
I felt compelled to watch over the balcony because I could feel something stronger than myself tugging at my senses. A cute redheaded girl wearing goth clothes and evidently full of power. She looks like Claudia from the film version of Interview With The Vampire novels written by Anne Rice, which I had read avidly as a youngster. Tom Cruise plays the part of the vampire Lestat formidably. He is not the Lestat from the books, but he is perfect as Lestat!

Claudia wore a trenchcoat and oozed with cool. I felt that I already know her. The Celestine Prophecy talks of the strong sensation of Deja Vu when the timestreams are converging. The lid of Palenque when used accurately describes these cycles, if you can read the codex hidden in its border motifs.

I stood behind Claudia in the library queue, drawn into her magnificence and watched as she took out a comic book about vampires. She knew how to use Presence and I marvelled at her. She knew I was there. She had been expecting me. Our aura’s were screaming ‘you are so cool!’ yet we were calm as cats and shared a feeling of excitement. Flames from dead hearts always chime loud.

The Vampire Book.

Following the girl as though fitting into a perfect place next to her, the masters and skeksis aligning around the dark crystal, we walked together from the library. A great temple behind us, we spoke.

She gave me her webmail ident; which is a name for the cat god that suits her perfectly. She told me where to find her again and we both felt that we had made a strong connection and would yet share a scene, which at this time was invisible to my senses.

I returned to my flat filled with excitement and wonder and despite knowing this girl to be of a different sexual orientation to myself, decided in light of the movie Chasing Amy to create a graphic novel comic book based on this majestic event. So full of creativity, this young artist and muse that I recognised her at once as a Scion; a source of Art. Such rare and precious thing should be both protected and revered. Claudia radiated the vibe of kindred, the vampire who walk the open path despite the masquerade, and strolling together easily beneath a half moon through the world to see her onto her bus we made arrangement that I would visit her when the time was right. My beloved gothic teacher had taught me this statement on many occasions.

“when the time is right.” ~Bryan Charliewood


At my apartment I began to construct the novel, first this striking image that described the scene of our meeting. Many of the scenes formulated easily into shape thanks to my having been collecting photographic images to use in photoshop from all manner of sources. I am a symbolist artist, my own personal scrapbook of digital visual symbols fills gigabytes of external hard disk memory.

 picture entitled ‘Capimaon’

Capimaon literally means ‘numbers of time’. It is a word of Enochian, the language of Light, the language of Angels. If you have seen the movie the Fifth Element by Luc Besson then you will have heard some of it spoken with a sexy european dialect. I have been studying magickal lore since I was a young boy and through many previous lifetimes also. Mystery schools and all that. That’s a story for another blog.

Dr John Dee worked with Edward Kelly to channel the language Enochian as a part of their ritual magicks. They were especially interested in the conjuration of Angels. Dr Dee by the way was in his official capacity the court physician to Queen Elizabeth of Britain. The royal lineage have always taken magick and spirituality with rather more interest than the commoners are disavowed to believe.
CYBERGOTH album sleeve (cybergothic website now unavailable in this timestream)

It was approximately two months before I visited Claudia, at the art college.
Claudia had been painting.

this following picture, a sister of the Ichwan Bedwine sent it to me on the internet, it seems relevant here...


One of my greatest influences is Frank Herberts esoteric teachings in a science fiction masterwork called Dune. The novels are a sextet although once unriddled and understood, they set the reader with sufficient visionary ability to see the necessary  precipitating events for unwritten sequels. I do not yet have the scope to explain how deeply affected by these books I have been. All this is for a reason. Here is a link to a Dune webjam page where the notes for the fan fiction Dune 7 : Sorcerers of Dune are being compiled.

Claudia uses symbolism in her artwork. I studied symbolism at art school myself and use it a lot in my own work. I suppose many artists do, of many disciplines. We are a symbolist species. Always trust your way-signs.

Prior to and during Uni I also studied the brilliant philosophies of psychologist Gustav Carl Jung whose work offers a strong foundation for shamanism and is resonant with the mayan teachings, almost perhaps as if by design. Claudia’s work of this period of her life was heavily influenced by Dune as well as other symbols that are self evident to the initiate.

Claudia has one sole focused intent at this time of her life; to make vampire films. She played me a movie, Claudia, a short introduction into herself that she filmed and edited for a college/self project, starring and introducing herself as a foxy red headed lesbian vampire chick. It featured a cardiff nightclub and strobe flashy lights as well as hammer horror comedy meets matrix chic. And lesbian real life on screen snogging. Always a good thing. Well, nearly.

For her new project she has been advised to do something different than a vampire film even though she really wants to be stereotyped as a lesbian vampire film maker. (Hey this was before the movie Lesbian Vampire Hunters came out. Synergy is a weird thing.) Subsequently there is a great deal of inner creative turmoil in her as the zombies project is underway. I am invited to get involved and act the role of a zombi. Allegations of my being typecast will be ignawed.

It was a few days later before I returned ready to start filming. The make~up job was fantastic; pale skin with gashes on my face. I was introduced to the girl who it was my role to murder as only zombies can. She was really sexy, her name is Kat. I had trouble slaying her, dragging her violently down to the floor and biting chunks from her body. Had fewer people and no cameras been around I would have delighted to. Kat was really flirty and easy to get on with. Something deep inside me didn’t want to manhandle her to death on film and kept laughing. Thats my excuse. Claudia & Darren the co-director, cut the shot, I don’t blame them. The rest of the sessions went well.
An interesting sidenote at this point is the camera position of the corridor featuring a life size model of a female Centaur whose oustretched arm seemed to be reaching above the zombies head as  the undead shuffled rapidly and rabidly up the corridor toward the viewer. An arty shot using objects already in situ as recommended by the great old black&white film noir school of directors. This only becomes relevant if you compare this journal entry with the other journal entry explaining about my friend who is a western astrology sign of Sagittarius, symbolised by the Centaur. Keeping tabs of the symbolism here, we relate to the tales of power, the energy-threads, a hidden subtext marking the passage of our lives, our souls ka journey, through scenes; expressed in the multi-level symbolism of our environments. This is the teaching I have been seeking, to share and experience. This is a shamanic perspective which forms the core of a culture that I feel I have been brought back from the dead to reintroduce into a dead society.

As we left college after filming that day we noticed the half moon above us. I pointed at it, reminding Claudia that we had previously met beneath a half moon. Some natural pagan magick was occurring here!

Next session involved painting up all the volunteers so that we could have a zombie hoard chase the stars through the college corridors and streets outside. It was a huge make~up job and a lot of fun.

My father was furious with me for taking the time to help a friend out by appearing in her movie. At exactly the same moment as I portrayed a zombie flesh-eater rising from the grave, my father was attending my grandfathers funeral. I had already spoken with grandpa since his physical death and he found it funny, and understood why I was not traveling hundreds of km to an event which even he found somber and miserable. Actually I spoke with my grandpa several times, he had a sense of humor. He found it funny that I considered his fridge that I acquired and used for about a year until it broke down to be a ‘dead mans chest’ - after his being a sailor who served at sea during world war two fixing radios on airplanes on an air craft carrier. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. He was into the Royal Navy rum which is ghastly compared to Morgans Spiced. If you are into pirates then this in-joke will make sense to you. Ah matey but this be not a sea shanty but a tale of gothic horror.

I visited the college a few times after this, excited at making new friends with similar interests. It was during one of these visits that the syncronicities we were involved with here, what I call ‘the Energies’, revealed insight into the power of Art and the Imaginal as a greater force than any single one of us can ever encapsulate. With notable exceptions, it has to be said. Philosophies of personal individual stardom verses face in the crowd invisibility and mass produced clone drone factory churn-out identical citizens in this off-the-shelf consumerist cult our generation of planet-munchers represents are for the heady realm of academic art school essay land.

We discovered that a twelve year age difference between myself and the students here on the art course; we are all chinese year of the snake. Most of these students were born in 1989; I was 1977. This may have a lot to do with the strange coincidences we were experiencing. The next Year of the Snake is 2013, which in the Mayan Tzolkin calender is Year Zero. Very exciting!

Kat showed me some drawings she had been doing. ”I had a strange dream.” she explained. “There was like, rows of pillars coming around a domed roof.” I knew at once that she was talking about the same image I had crafted myself while working on the graphic novel / comic book.

Our focus group... this is the power of Art. I swear that there is nothing new to be made up, but universes or dimensions which hold everything that we think we are creating. We simply tune into it and draw our own interpretation from it, looking into the minds eye to real places that really do exist. That’s my philosophy on it anyway and I explained so much to the group, using my ‘Capimaon’ pic as an example. But first I had to load this picture up into the college computers, and to do that I would require an access pass. We used Jazz’ access pass.

Although Jazz had not been directly involved with the zombi project, she arrived in the world of my perceptions after Darren had asked Claudia to draw a gothic girl for me. Claudia was kind enough to make the drawing and the next day after the second filming session, Jazz turned up. She was doing the fashion course in the same building as the art course. Jazz was the girl from the picture Claudia drew yesterday and she looked like a cross between Amy Lee, she even wore the same clothes, and then in profile somebody else who I felt that I should be able to identify but could not figure out who. We spoke and discovered that Jazz’s boyfriend’s birthday is the same as my own birthday (although not the same year) !

Jazz’s Access Pass to the college computers. Now I was watching, taking note of numbers, as she typed this number into the machine, because the nature of reality as in the film the Matrix, because the picture I wanted to load into the machine from my portable hard drive that I had made on my own computer at home, is called ‘Capimaon’ which is Enochian, the language of Angels, and it means ‘Numbers of Time’. Jazz’s access pass was nothing short of miraculous; the first part of it was the month, year and hour that we were entering the sequence into the machine, while the second part of it was the number sequence for my own birthday.

Sadly I do not have a copy of the sketch Kat made nor the goth girl drawing that Claudia had made. Being art students they both wanted to keep their products in their work folders, and I didn’t get around to making photos of these pictures because other forces were at play and having an effect on our own tunnel of manifestation. Awareness of it was enough to keep us focused, tuned to the flow.
There were many syncronicities and coincidences which I do not have space to go into here, for example the labyrinth motif on a climbing frame in the playpark we all walked to for a lunch break during filming, being resonant to the one I had previously used in the Capimaon picture.

Eventually I was escorted off the college premises, possibly because even though I had by that time finally been given a student pass due to my doing a night class in music in the same college, the ageist chinstrap management didn’t like me hanging around with the younger students.

[insert photo card id]

The aspect of art and shamanism that we were developing and studying between us was a bright Truth beyond the scope for the authoritarian paid academics to believe as a reality and any signs of real Art should evidently be quelled to maintain their artificial delusion of control and proper normality. I was doing nothing wrong, if anything I was involved with teaching & learning first hand with the students about roots primal shamanism which is essential to the study of Art. But they didn’t see it like that.

So I have yet to catch up with Claudia’s next project entitled Cat Girl, an animation. Since this time she has been to uni and finished her course, sadly I have lost contact with her for now. Who knows what twists and turns time may yet bring. I have the van now, a distinctly vampirish van that I know has come my way for a greater reason than merely attempt by Great Spirit to kindly boost my own middle aged ego and gothic aesthetic.

1 kimono poster in the art college, I found in shop - didn't have enough cash to buy - if anyone knows the title PLEASE TELL ME!!! the snakes symbolise threads weaving, facing each other...
update 17.8.11 - today I discovered on the internet that it is Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. This closes the Gate that was opened when I took the photo several years ago. I suppose I should read the book now. I doubt that JK Rowling knew how many levels she was cross-stitched into with her channelling. 

the really weird thing
is that now, years later, the people in my life have the same names as the ones in the last cycle...
Although the names for the characters in the following part of this story are the same as the names in the previous part of the story, they are actually played by different actors, well I mean real people. I have already mentioned the involvement of coincidence with this wonderful tale. The names of people in my life now are genuinely the same in this next round of the cosmic wheel as they were in the one mentioned previously. It just happens to be different people wearing these labels, which I feel certain has some significance. There must be a science to all this, an underlaying structure that is the foundation of our realities.

Travelers perhaps notice such things; people who live their lives exclusively in boxes running the same program code every groundhog day movie of their meaningless lives probably don’t notice such wonders nor gain insight into how Reality actually works, and have already labeled me as crazy for noticing and highlighting things beyond their ability to grasp.

I had been dating Kat for a few months, living in the van to visit her because her parents are cranky to say the least and won’t let her have guests in the house. She can’t even have a key to it, they are authoritarian control obsessives. Some of my exploits while living in the van are detailed in other entries in this journal. I should point out this is not the same girl Kat as mentioned before, the college student. This is someone else of the same name.

There is a very spiritual woman who runs the crystal stall in the market who I was fortunate enough to be a test subject for. She is doing a uni course which involves a new technique for diagnosing holistic ailments. Plant species make a unique sound as they grow, which correlate to the chakra spectrum. By using a device much like a guitar tuner, the voice can be analyzed while speaking to discover which chakra are lacking in energy and which are strongly developed. The appropriate plant can then be recommended, as an essential oil, to heal any lacking incomplete or damaged chakra, before the light code becomes a physical manifestation such as disease or illness. I discovered that my lower back ache & inability for several years to create any new music nor visual art is related to my having zero orange (sacral) and yellow (solar plexus) chakras, yet my purple (third eye) chakra is swollen and massive far beyond most peoples.

Reptilian Dream Machine

I had run out of cash to pay for diesel to visit Kat so I was staying on a sacred celtic barrow mound where I grew up. I semi~awoke. In the state of mind that lurks between dream and waking, that is this shamens role to expand and bridge so there is no gate but the transition between worlds is a smooth continuity, I saw. My eyes were closed and yet I saw.

The creature was looming, lurching, threateningly swaying forward and backward, rocking, as it readied to pounce into my head. I was still existing as an electromagnetic entity, a soul, returned from dreaming and the dreamworlds into this flesh, and the fucker had waited. It was waiting for me to blink between worlds so that it could use my crossing to implant itself into me. I knew this as I watched it, and I retreated away from waking and back into the lucid dream. I had a choice here; to be safely oblivious to it or to be fully conscious. I chose consciousness. I could not move my body and although I was not yet awake and fused with and able to manipulate my body as normal, I could sense that the body was paralysed rigid with fear.

I felt the creature pounce into me as I awoke, and I shuddered, shook violently like when you watch someone in a cartoon or comedy film getting an electric shock. I woke up feeling so sexual and horny, once this thing was inside me, that I had to stop myself from playing with my own body. My mind is racing through my telephone contact list for anybody who might be persuaded to fuck me, and planning to run into the nearest populated area to find someone I could pull and have sex with, anyone. Male, female, it didn’t matter. My thoughts scrambled at this time because I am a famous prude when it comes to sharing my body.

I was speaking telepathically with the creature as it settled down into my lower chakras. It told me it intended to make a transition and take me over. More of a symbiosis. I would be stronger but I would not be me. I didn’t trust the thing at all and even when I threw anger and hatred at it, something I found easy to do with it in me. It seems to thrive on hate, anger, and the wrong sort of sex. It didn’t take much work to identify it as a very clever, manipulative and bad, bad thing. Despite or perhaps because it was filling me with sexual confidence and open~mindedness, not just sexual but a super~hero~like feeling that ‘so fucking what’ about things which I usually held onto as limiting factors to maintain my safety within my own delusion of reality... it was playing with my head, in such a way as demons are described as being able.

Where did the creature come from? I knew that it was not from the mundane world, it was more like a spirit made of gelatinous light. Something from beyond the matrix. I was reminded of other~dimensional entities that I have met whilst on magick mushrooms.

I logged into facebook and posted my daily bulletin, describing this waking experience that a thing I could best describe as a ‘spirit~jellyfish something like a facedancer from aliens‘ had just leaped into my body.

Within an hour I was contacted by an Angel healer. Her name, Claudia. She told me about Angel Durga who she channels, and Archon Metatron. She told me that ‘reality is like the Matrix’. She told me that the fucker that was using me as a host is called a Dream Machine, and that it is not a spirit, that it is a computer program created by the reptilians to access key individuals in society, and subvert them. That it would eat my light body from the inside out and then I would be fucked, not in a good way. I told Claudia that she is like Trinity in the Matrix movie and she laughed. Yes, reality is like the Matrix.

I have been reading a book called the Pleiadian Agenda by Barbera Hand Clow which describes reality wonderfully, and the material density is indeed within a holographic projection. Within which waveforms of light are patterns, computer programs. Everything is vibrational. Again this paradigm takes us well outside of the constraining and disproven bounds of the residing social consensus for how reality works, which relies heavily on ‘academic scientists ell us that reality is beyond our ability to comprehend but something to do with quantum physics that cannot be explained in plain english and that Einstein said so.”

Actually Einstein did not say so, what he proposed as a ‘theory’ thanks to his discussions with his mentor Minnowski was that *if* we use light to represent a steady constant, *then* e=mc2. However what William Herschel had previously proven using radio spectroscopy is that light is not in fact a steady constant. In his favour Einstein explained that the relative speed of two moving objects shows how time is more complicated than a linear steady constant but actually varies, but paid scientific ahem ‘experts’ don't like to be taken up on this and will start accusing you of being a quasi-scientist if you point out to them that there is already a holistic theory and their heads are full of shit. Ask them how a black hole works and whether they have found the elusive Higgs boson yet and see them answer ‘its just a matter of time’. It makes me laugh to see how much money gets spent on these guys chasing nano-particles to prove their theories in big expensive machines when spiritualists are finding the very same answers as the confused academic scientists eventually will with nothing more than our own integrity.

We can measure ‘time’ in two scales; as time signature (to borrow a musical term) or ‘tempo’; that is, bpm (beats per minute) used to measure the speed of motion of a [stream]. A stream at 70bpm will from the inside appear to be flowing at ‘normal’ speed just as a stream at 180bpm will from the inside appear to be flowing at ‘normal’ speed, it is only from outside of the equation that we can recognise the time difference. Placed onto a simple scale for measuring energy, such as the hertz / kilohertz chart, we begin to see where sound and light spectrums (abcdefg / roygbiv) are in relation to each other and also how and where they harmonise with each other.

Perhaps the peculiar abstract topics I am talking about with this essay can be described in such terms, or perhaps not. Certainly Jung has much to say about the syncronicity of timestreams converging in his heady essay about Coincidences.

Claudia helped to clean me from this ‘dream machine’ thing that had been sent to target me because I was in the category of having a powerful and spiritual voice in society which seemed to be effective in waking people up to the real reality beyond the control trap that most of them seem to be living in, the reality~paradigm war that involves control of your mind in a massive scale global indoctrination pogrom where the controllers are teaching the population total bollocks to dissuade us from escaping their zombification techniques and taking our own realities into our own hands wholescale. This involves interactive awareness that advanced extra~terrestrials are real and thats where the ones who are awakening are accused and discredited by the people still trapped in the matrix of being conspiracy theory nutcases. Hey even the governments are releasing their ufo files now, ten years ago that was conspiracy theory too and now it is promoted as real in the really real reality.

"discredition is not disproof" ~Snakeappletree
(which makes me wonder why people with no proof are out to silence & ridicule another persons opinion in the first place - what are they trying to cover up?)

I digress.

Then once I was recomended by my angel healer to start using amethyst to channel angels and learn how to heal myself and others throug the lightbody techniques I am learning, I found this following video on youtube which is exactly what I was trying to describe had happened to me. This stuff is real folks. You see the dream~machines on some porno videos too; shapeshifters are everywhere.

Claudia my angel healer told me that she would “send me a pixie.” When she told me that ‘it’s like the matrix’ she used a language that resonated on several levels. I met Jazz on the internet on a chat forum I had been guided to, and I knew that we have a story to tell. It was not until we met that I saw the tattoo of a pixie sitting on a magick mushroom that Claudia’s words sank home to me. There is a scene in the matrix movie with just such a symbol, a tattoo that is the main characters link into the path of discovery. Some people are so spiritually advanced and Alive, aware, beyond the Matrix, that they can interact with reality in such a way as to set people on the right path for planetary and soul Love evolution. I am sure Enochian is a key to this.

Jazz and I met and walked halfway across Bristol city to a playpark which has the coolest rides in the world. A resonance with the playpark I visited with the cast and crew of Zombis movie several years previously. Jazz is currently studying art at uni and having a great time, and we are the brother&sister team that we both always needed to be. Future music projects in the pipeline...

I am now living with and happily paganly wed to my deep soul partner who I remember through many lifetimes, and whose name is also Kat. My Kat has the same facial profile as the goth fashion student Jazz who Claudia the vampiress drew a sketch of a few years ago.

additional: 1.12.02009: half moon (ascending)

Today is half moon. After from visiting a library I watched the Wesley Snipes film Blade Trinity for the first time. Whistlers daughter looks like my friend Claudia the vampire-film-maker and the boss vampire girl in it looks like Vines mate Alana. A bit-part from a vamp who looks like Vines dad. Strangeness. This movie is cool, more like the original than the crap second part of the series. In my best zooport blad accent; “Blade’s a pussy, I could have him, braa.”

Why am I up late at night watching vampire movies?
Why do so many characters in them look like people I know?

I get the van fixed tomorrow at last, the leaky oil drip finally mended.

Have been making vampire cd sleeve artwork again tonight for my project. Seem to be doing a lot of this, on and off. Have been playing with grungy darkore thrashy metal basslines for a few days now that my studio is half up and running in the new house. Exciting new goth track currently called Talamascan Eyes.

I am synaesthesic, that is I see sound as colour. The core of the brain that deciphers sensory data is extra wired in me thanks to magick mushrooms linking extra links between my synaptic growth. Subsequently I am trying to get this gay brown bassline to sound more black and blue still midnight pools. More tweaking dials...

Quote; “the bass sound should feel like a dripping wet pussy, not a guys twitching arsehole, if you’ll excuse the crude way of expressing it”  ~anon
Music being akin to raw sex and all. In the world of synaesthesia. Maybe.

[insert some SAT cd sleeve art pics]

Spoke with Jazz by text tonight. She’s doing Giger and pop art (industrial consumerism mass produced monocultural symbols) for her design project at uni. Watch the threads...

[insert this months cover for NEXUS magazine, obama/giger pic]
NEXUS magazine cover, December 2009
The Ones of Many Faces (Frank Herberts DUNE)

I began this essay with a version of the expression; ‘It is a tangled web we weave’ .

I have read two books from the library this past moon, both of which feature the Anglo-Saxon story of the Weavers. Three spider-like Wyrd sisters who dwell in the Underworld and who spin the threads of our fates.

Brian Bates, The Way of the Wyrd.
Mark Chadbourn, Jack of Ravens (Kingdom of the Serpent, Book 1)

Update: 17.8.2011
Kat has left me on the basis that I am allegedly having an affair with Jazz. I am not nor have I ever had an affair with Jazz nor with anybody else for that matter. I have not spoken with Jazz at all since I blocked her from my life in winter/spring 2010, the reason being that after she told me that she wanted me to leave Kat and have a baby with her, and I told her NO; that she replied she was going to split me up with Kat. Jazz had just been dumped by her bloke and was out to get; she told me she was jealous of my "perfect" relationship with Kat. 'The grass is greener syndrome'.

Kat has not accepted this despite my showing her the proof by way of the internet conversation. This proves to me that Kat suffers Cognitive Dissonance, a condition in which a person believes fiction over facts even when presented with proof. Evidence that she is playing games with herself which spill over to games with other people. She believes the alleged "copypaste" of a conversation that Jazz sent to her, in which allegedly I did agree to leave Kat and have a baby with Jazz. I did not see this conversation nor was I a party to it. I believe it to be faked for the intent of splitting me up with Kat. 

So Jazz has both won and lost; she has split me up with Kat but she has not got me nor my baby.  Personally I believe all of this to be Kats excuse to live the life of a single girl, which is what she told me she now wants, and to grind me down in the process. It's her life and I have always promoted personal freedom. Kat wants conflict. I don't. 

Enshallah (it is in the hands of the gods; specifically of Bastet,  one would assume, following the internal logic of this thread)

Update: 7.6.2013 Chinese Year of Water Snake

Enochian is flawed. It is a grid, it binds, it pins particle events into a timestream of an energy vortex, which is not the liberation and ascension we require, it is imprisonment and not freedom; largely because of the knock-on effect of 'consequence'.

This year 2013 is the Chinese year of the Snake, following the Chinese year of the Dragon. Last year I spent time with Kas and Joe who I have known for many years from before I moved to south west wales from south east wales; they both moved here too at approximately the same time because of his job; Kas is born Chinese year of Dragon. I don't know about Joe's astrology, we have similar interest in "the Imaginal Realm" which he defines as being 'a creative space which we put ideas into and then other people can access it and add to those ideas, to that place'.

Since end of November last year I have been dating a girl who was also born in Chinese Year of the Snake, another artist. We went through the '21.12.2012' so-called "mayan end of the world" / end of the mayan tzolkien calendar phase of 52,000 years, and start of the 5th Age of the Sun called the age of Itza (way of all the people). I identify Itza with Assyrian/Babylonian goddess Ishtar, deity of war, Love and Fertility.

Update: 21/12/2015

The water-snake girl stagnated. Joe has moved on from his work in the legal administration of this town. Kas has gained access into the masonic level of this towns council with her work. I have been offered Admin work at Ishtar's Gate Forum, an honor for me. I fit in there. In 1999 I danced the ceremonial passage through the Gate on a visit to Berlin where it is now situated, an ancient Rite. 


In my memory of the movie Ninth Gate; She wears a coat like my old army one which was stolen by a fan, but with fluffy fur around the hood, and she wears also a leather jacket. It was not until I met The Girl and identified her clothes with those of my memory of the Ninth Gate, did I do some more research, to discover that the movie is not quite as my memory of it. Meeting The Girl was strange. I tried to walk away. The first time we met, it was difficult but I did it. It hurt. This time it was impossible. I gave her my business card and she gave me her number.

At some time during the turn of the millennium years, my brother said to me;
“The older guy with a younger girl; She is the Devil!”

And so it comes to pass.

During research into the Ninth Gate movie… the rain and wind sweeps up. The Girl looks like Her.The actress who plays her as she looks in this role.

It is 21/12/15 at 21.50 as I type these words, our first night apart since we got together 8 days ago during which time has ceased. The symbolism of our story is intricate. We are studying Tarot together. I have never before seen nor imagined such readings. In theory they are possible albeit unlikely.
Illustration by Bert Monroy uploaded 26/3/2015

This picture, the same symbolism as my graphic novel (see above). I was thinking today of the Manuscript entitled ‘Capimaon’ and a recent blog ('Immune To Enochian'), my desire to be free of the Numbers Of Time, in relation to being together with Her.

There is more; the little black cat who was born in my bedroom while the water-snake was living here, who left after I had her neutered, now lives on the same street as The Girl. We discussed this, days later the little black cat found me. I named her Velcro. She is still tiny for her age, she is manx and easily recognizable (has no tail due to inbreeding). Yesterday I found a three-legged lucky-lizard pendant, metal and blue-green. Such symbols abound.

The council business manager has requested I write a proposal so they can buy us a printing press due to my achieving access into the masonic society of this town's internal, free-trade commercial caste. I will be able to finish my long-term project, the Auriglyphica and much else besides.

In no way do I claim ownership of Bert Monroy's art, it is used here fully accredited, non-profit for educational purposes

"Bast (bastet) bast was an egyptian goddess of love, fertility and relationships and the protectress of cats."

Update: 5.1.2015

Perhaps with relation to the shifting of grid energies by my selling of my MC505, I walked out on The Girl on Gregorian New Years Eve; although I do not use that calendar and regard this time since the week-outside-of-time, Anwyns Gate between Halloween (31.8) and Guye Falkes Night (5.9) to be several moon cycles into the new year by the calender system which I find more accurate to the external world of nature and astrology, than is the artificial and satanic grid of 666 which most westerners use (24 hours = 2+4 = 6 , 60 minutes = 6+0 = 6, 60 seconds = 6+0 = 6; that is a grid projection, in that 6 represents Solomon's Seal and also the spiral; talking therefore about the masonic/cthulhonic multi-dimensional pyramid of the inner-eye, twice, hence 2 and 4 - it describes a time vortice and a codex).

I do not know what the future holds which is the space between the 360 day cycles; we are now in Mayan Year 3 (given that 1013 was Year Zero). See The Auriglyphica for more info about 360360, the Number Syncronicity Grid. I am through with that cycle. I do not know if The Girl has any interest in such things as tesseracts and time-vortice. I know only that I have accelerated above and beyond an outmoded grid. Detachment from Slavery, exit from Hell.

 "Above the Pyramid; A Sphere." Ordo Octopia

Update: 19/3/2017

The building in one of the pictures from the capimaon Graphic Novel was made up, a design compromise using an easily constructed symbol to emphasise the point of living in a block of flats, rather than a photo of the actual flat.

Today I discovered this image of Fern Street, Camden New Jersey, on the internet:

The building in the background "is the same building". If you click the link you will see other photo's of it taken from the same position through several decades. Weird. Note the black and red 'typically vampiric gothic' house to the right.

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