waiting to fly

If she wanted it, she would take it. Playing a neurotic to force his position into a dominant role she can feel confident in, the sort of man she wants to wield. He has seen it so many times before. She plays this game to test if she can control him by making him change to please her. As soon as he gets bored of her swinging him, he'll go back to being himself and that's when she'll say he's changed, gone distant, aloof. She hates it when he's cold and hard to reach. They're not at that stage yet. They're talking about meeting again after years. She keeps him waiting because really, he isn't everything to her that she makes out, if he were they'd already be together. She's deciding what to do. He's waiting on the phone and he's waited too long, long enough for the truth to show, she hasn't entertained him to protect him from an insight into her nature and when he points it out the neurotic mask settles a little deeper as persona that she's bound by. Men drive women crazy when they do this cruelty, not reacting emotionally but seeing what truly is. Because it is zen and zen men can't be played. Her ego relies on the ego games of toying with any boy who shows an interest. He doesn't play games and that's the difference. Not even for the sake of attracting a mate who he knows better than she knows herself, and she needs a guy like that she can rely on. first published on facebook 6.9.2012