Recognizing Abuse In Authority (& Why)
Abuser wants to be an Authority enabling energy domination, ergo assumes a Parent-Child attitude and does not respect that the person he is talking with is an Adult requiring Adult-Adult discourse.
Talking to an adult as if they are a child is demeaning, even insulting unless the Adult remains Adult enough to rise above it, to establish their status as Adult rather than Child by responding accordingly, which largely relies on experience that makes the Adult an Adult in the first place.
Here we identify two levels of Adult - one which is a more mature Adult than the other. Both however are Adults, even where the Adult is inexperienced to justify to the Authority that he is not a Child.
The fail is the error of assessment that the Adult is a Child, made by the Authority. It must be recognised that the Authority by making this mistake is not suitable for the role of being an Authority.*
This can be remedied only in three ways:
- the Authority shifts from Parent-Child to Adult-Adult. This is the proper way for an Adult Authority to function.
- the Authority remains in Parent mode creating tension between the two parties because the Adult refuses to become a Child - this shows that the Authority is being more Childish than the Adult. The Adult can opt to step down into Child mode either so both parties can engage Child-Child which is unlikely given that the Authority will then immediately revert to being Parent-Child. This is a domination tactic which is unnecessary for Adult-Adult communication and explains why the Authority is unfit for role as such. We call this Manipulation Of Position Of Authority (where conscious) and Unfit For Role (where unconscious). If the Authority is unconscious of this, it reveals they are not fit for position because they are actively a Child playing Parent wearing Authority role far too big for them. If the Authority is aware of this, they are an Abuser.
- The two parties cease to have any communication. The Authority may repeat this approach with the next client while the Adult finds a different Authority who is capable of Adult-Adult to communicate with.
* Authorities are not fit for role if they make such mistakes. It is unfortunate that we live in a society where most of the time this goes unchecked. The result is chaos and the widespread enablement and acceptance of abuse by authority figures unfit for role. Adults question the Authorities being fit for purpose, Childs cannot. It is itself a mark of Adult status. Remember always: Authorities are Functionaries of a System. The System is there to serve the People. Not the other way around. Freedom factors on this.
Example:
Perry’s agenda is to become a literary agent for money. The arena he is in enables his position of authority over his clients (a variety of writers hopeful to become published authors). The foundation of his job has two aspects, both of which are: to make decisions for other people to progress. First he reads and criticises their work, then he decides if it is good enough to be published by the publishing house he works for. His position is that of authority and he has some power, as much power as his clients respect him with, as much power as his superiors respect him with. So long as he selects clients who bring the company money they will be happy and because there are a lot of people buying books, he does not have to worry much about which part of society he is alienating and encouraging because people will buy books form the company anyway. So nobody is looking too heavily over his shoulder. Most of his job is focussed on finding clients and because there are many writers seeking to be published, this is easy too. He can be very selective and reject as many writers as he likes because he is in a position to do so. In his discourse with potential authors there is a limited amount of to-and-from discourse regarding their books and the companies expectancies of quality. This situation enables him to play energy strategies within the simple dynamic outlined by Dr Eric Berne. The very basic grid structure applies and we can identify it astutely to the situation.
A result of Perry’s decision to pass only specific writers to his company for publication means he is the sole decision maker on what merits quality. It is an important job. Perry has decided to fall back on textbook academic teachings of what constitutes a good book. The summary of this is that all writers must conform to the proper patterns with no deviation, no risk-taking, no experimentation or individual expression. Effectively Perry requires writers who conform to ’painting by numbers’. As a result all of the writers who Perry passes are interchangeable, anyone of them could have written any of the manuscripts he passes without the reader ever truly knowing any difference between them. It caters toward a specific mindset, that of the academically programmed to conform to the academic program.
Perry spends his life wondering why rival publishing houses who have an entirely different approach are producing best-seller after best-seller of avant-garde, risky manuscripts that do not conform to the rules. Perry’s company sell bog-standard, middle-of-the-road easy-reading to a specific audience.
Perry’s methods have resulted in many writers avoiding him entirely and boycotting his publishing house. Perry seeks only submissive writers who redraft their manuscripts to conform to the blueprint Perry is imposing on them. Anybody who thinks differently from that model does not buy books from his company - which is why the rival companies are producing best-selling authors and his is not, despite it being respected as a long-running cornerstone of the publishing industry.
Abuser wants to be an Authority enabling energy domination, ergo assumes a Parent-Child attitude and does not respect that the person he is talking with is an Adult requiring Adult-Adult discourse.
Talking to an adult as if they are a child is demeaning, even insulting unless the Adult remains Adult enough to rise above it, to establish their status as Adult rather than Child by responding accordingly, which largely relies on experience that makes the Adult an Adult in the first place.
Here we identify two levels of Adult - one which is a more mature Adult than the other. Both however are Adults, even where the Adult is inexperienced to justify to the Authority that he is not a Child.
The fail is the error of assessment that the Adult is a Child, made by the Authority. It must be recognised that the Authority by making this mistake is not suitable for the role of being an Authority.*
This can be remedied only in three ways:
- the Authority shifts from Parent-Child to Adult-Adult. This is the proper way for an Adult Authority to function.
- the Authority remains in Parent mode creating tension between the two parties because the Adult refuses to become a Child - this shows that the Authority is being more Childish than the Adult. The Adult can opt to step down into Child mode either so both parties can engage Child-Child which is unlikely given that the Authority will then immediately revert to being Parent-Child. This is a domination tactic which is unnecessary for Adult-Adult communication and explains why the Authority is unfit for role as such. We call this Manipulation Of Position Of Authority (where conscious) and Unfit For Role (where unconscious). If the Authority is unconscious of this, it reveals they are not fit for position because they are actively a Child playing Parent wearing Authority role far too big for them. If the Authority is aware of this, they are an Abuser.
- The two parties cease to have any communication. The Authority may repeat this approach with the next client while the Adult finds a different Authority who is capable of Adult-Adult to communicate with.
* Authorities are not fit for role if they make such mistakes. It is unfortunate that we live in a society where most of the time this goes unchecked. The result is chaos and the widespread enablement and acceptance of abuse by authority figures unfit for role. Adults question the Authorities being fit for purpose, Childs cannot. It is itself a mark of Adult status. Remember always: Authorities are Functionaries of a System. The System is there to serve the People. Not the other way around. Freedom factors on this.
Example:
Perry’s agenda is to become a literary agent for money. The arena he is in enables his position of authority over his clients (a variety of writers hopeful to become published authors). The foundation of his job has two aspects, both of which are: to make decisions for other people to progress. First he reads and criticises their work, then he decides if it is good enough to be published by the publishing house he works for. His position is that of authority and he has some power, as much power as his clients respect him with, as much power as his superiors respect him with. So long as he selects clients who bring the company money they will be happy and because there are a lot of people buying books, he does not have to worry much about which part of society he is alienating and encouraging because people will buy books form the company anyway. So nobody is looking too heavily over his shoulder. Most of his job is focussed on finding clients and because there are many writers seeking to be published, this is easy too. He can be very selective and reject as many writers as he likes because he is in a position to do so. In his discourse with potential authors there is a limited amount of to-and-from discourse regarding their books and the companies expectancies of quality. This situation enables him to play energy strategies within the simple dynamic outlined by Dr Eric Berne. The very basic grid structure applies and we can identify it astutely to the situation.
A result of Perry’s decision to pass only specific writers to his company for publication means he is the sole decision maker on what merits quality. It is an important job. Perry has decided to fall back on textbook academic teachings of what constitutes a good book. The summary of this is that all writers must conform to the proper patterns with no deviation, no risk-taking, no experimentation or individual expression. Effectively Perry requires writers who conform to ’painting by numbers’. As a result all of the writers who Perry passes are interchangeable, anyone of them could have written any of the manuscripts he passes without the reader ever truly knowing any difference between them. It caters toward a specific mindset, that of the academically programmed to conform to the academic program.
Perry spends his life wondering why rival publishing houses who have an entirely different approach are producing best-seller after best-seller of avant-garde, risky manuscripts that do not conform to the rules. Perry’s company sell bog-standard, middle-of-the-road easy-reading to a specific audience.
Perry’s methods have resulted in many writers avoiding him entirely and boycotting his publishing house. Perry seeks only submissive writers who redraft their manuscripts to conform to the blueprint Perry is imposing on them. Anybody who thinks differently from that model does not buy books from his company - which is why the rival companies are producing best-selling authors and his is not, despite it being respected as a long-running cornerstone of the publishing industry.
This is the critical juncture:
Perry engages his clients as a Parent-Child authoritarian figure with intention of making writers conform to the textbook format.
Other companies engage their clients as Adult-Adult with intention of making the book as good as possible on its own merits, regardless of proper academic formats.
The Best Sellers do not conform to the academic textbook format because the books which really stand out, are those which really stand out. It is so obvious and simple that Perry is behind his own back a laughing stock of the industry despite his simultaneously being respected for his standing in it.
When new authors deal with Perry for the first time they have to make the decision which camp they fall into and whether Perry’s publishing house is the right one for them. The tried and tested formats which create format authors for a format audience do have a higher success chance than the multitude of risk-takers of whom only a tiny percent ‘make it’ to become best-sellers.
Thankfully there is a wide range of publishing houses which sit at various proximities within the third category, which is a balance between the extremes.
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