Narc Co Parent

 

The Narcissistic Co-Parent 

aka

How to Destroy a Culture 101

I have experienced this behaviour from most mothers I South Wales who I have had anything much to do with. 

I asked her not to undermine my authority in front of the children, by her arguing with my parenting methods, which I learned from childcare nvq1 and nvq2.

She told me angrily I am a manipulative egotist for expecting her to use her children to boost my ego. 

She did not recognise and value what I am trying to achieve. Adults empowering each other to co-parent positively for effective results. A unified front reinforcing the same message so the children accept and learn it. This instead of the children being given no firm boundaries and developing distrust of parents authority and adults in general.

She is too busy protecting her kids and incriminating her partner as an abuser than to co-parent effectively. The idea a man may be better at parenting than a mother is disgusting to her. 

Undermining a persons parenting methods after expecting them to parent your children for you is a dysfunctional tactic of relationship control. 

The children watched her attempt to dominate me and decided this means they do not have to respect me or listen to me. So they don’t. 

It only has to happen once for the children to stop respecting a person. It makes life much more difficult for everyone involved. 

Because the idea in their minds now is they don’t have to respect one adult they try it on with other adults including the mother. When they do this and it results in the children do not get their way and the adult is annoyed by the child’s unwanted antisocial behaviour, the child’s respect for the adult and for all adults dissolves. 

The child falls into a cycle of always trying it on and being disappointed; whinging and feeling sorry for themselves while blaming the adult. Narcissistic personality traits are developed. 

Children copy parents behaviour. This to them is what ‘normal’ is. They will strive to recreate it for the rest of their lives. Even instability passes for stability once it is ‘normal’.