Dominators

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Thank you all.

Somebody mentioned to me about how I was never going to be a star player. This relates to and in some ways is the opposite to what a therapist mentioned on the same day. That I should step into my full confidence to enjoy my life. 

What it is, I was punished as a kid for asserting my existence or opinion. I was shouted down continuously. I had to be a servile and then get back in my box. I was treated like an object to be forgotten about. 

The impact this had on my psychology was to desire death and irrelevancy. To attract to me others who would fill the role of the dominator. I was violently bullied continuously in school on a daily basis. 

As soon as I was free from familial influence I connected to my Self. I became quite popular. This happened a few places I lived with different groups of people. I connected to my Leo energy which is my Vedic sign, I’m Virgo in Sidereal (western) zodiac. 

I adapted to my social conditions from an early age as we do. In my case when dominating, competitive people shout me down it is easier to let them get on with it and ignore them than it is to stand my ground and argue. Argument and competition are a waste of energy. 

In Dune by Frank Herbert is the Fremen Tau which is basically to ‘do what is necessary’ which in social terms for us means ‘the path of least resistance’ of getting people off my back by being quiet. 

I figure if they respected and valued what insight I have they would listen. Their disrespect is noted even when not immediately reacted to. The social expectancy is immediate reaction, resulting in argument and entanglement in social domination games and strategies. Something in which I have no interest whatsoever. 

On the principle it is to compromise with other peoples strategies; which is already a ride into nothing so far as building a stable world based on mutual respect. So I will not empower it. 

What people in Wales seem to want is men empowered in their masculinity by being openly dominating and showing they are that thing. Many people who dominate the social arena don’t respect men who are quiet because of not wanting to arguing with dominant people nor think they have anything to prove. 

“If you want to be respected you have to prove it in a very specific way, otherwise we become confused.” Is how a culture long ago stagnated by not adapting to not valuing the individual. 

“To each their need, From each their ability.” Marxism. We do not have that in Wales. 

What happens when dominators shout people down is they don’t learn anything. 

In the BDSM culture is a slogan ‘safe, sane and consensual’ which in practical terms means if a person does not consent to be dominated then the self-styled dominant is automatically an abuser rather than a respectable Dom. It’s a reference checkpoint. 

People who use reptilian brain more than mammalian cortex almost universally do not recognise the difference between a respectable Dom who is trusted and given consent verses an abusive dominator who dominates others for egotistical purposes of their having to be the Dom in any situation. 

These are two camps. It’s based on perceptions. Those who have humanitarianism to consider the other person on their merits and those who consider the louder person the boss regardless of any other factors. 

I have had this example with so many people of all genders. My ex is a classic, she self-identifies as ‘The Dom’ which involves so many abuse strategies to control the people around her. 

To back down to her in any way rather than to become embroiled in high tension argument she believes ‘normal’ is identified by her as submissive behaviour. To her way of thinking it proves the other person is a submissive. 

What is not factored by the Dominator is people who identify how the easiest way to calm The Dominator down is to be quiet until they go away, rather than standing up for their own personal boundaries which antagonises the Dominator and escalates the situation toward tension, argument and anger. 

To choose the path of peace when confronting a Dominator is preferable although it requires down-time to detox from them afterward. 

Especially as I am autistic and get autistic burnout easily. For autistic spectrum people this is a survival need. The Doms identify it as weakness. 

Preferring to be alone or with peaceful people rather than with someone who tells you incessantly what to think and starts arguments with you for protecting your boundaires is not a sign of weakness.  

Confident people do not need to play such games nor do they need to compete with others in ordinarily non-competitive circumstances such as the vast majority of incidents of normal life. 

Dominators of this sort are antisocial behaviour, antisocial personality disorders. Interrupting and shouting people down that a persons inner tranquility is replaced by an onslaught of the Dominators stream of consciousness are signs of it. 

It is not the same as the Dom role referred to in BDSM profiling. 

A lot of these Dominators also use projection and claim their own behaviour is what the person they are talking at does, any time they attempt to interject and converse or speak at all. This projection is a form of gaslighting. 

What this does to people who experience such Domination regularly and adapt to it is symptoms of mental abuse. 

This is recognised however 99% the entire body of studies and wisdom done on this has almost entirely been done with female victims of male dominators. There is so very little research for male victims of female doninators that the authorities officially do not believe it exists. 

Despite that in practise 50% of dominators are female and 50% of them are male. 

Females tend to have a different personality behind closed doors than in public more often than do men. Females also project their own traits onto others more often than do men. 

This statement is from my own experience of studying this particular aspect of human psychology, personality and social interactions. 

While I may appear to be quiet and outspoken, often shouted down and interrupted, I am not ignorant. I write about it that others might learn about my experiences and make their own minds up about the value of what it is I have to say. Writing gives me a chance to communicate without being interrupted, shouted down and prevented from communicating effectively. 

This is what I have to say.