Who Does Your Thinking?
This essay is in two main components with an afterword.
1. Sociology which outlines a very common theme in contemporary Western culture, and
2. Psychology which explores the hidden roots of it using Transactional Analysis.
3 Afterword.
- Sociology
She has been put into a position where she had to put her Facebook Relationship Status on ‘For Your Eyes Only’ mode so her fiancé could see that was still valid but nobody else could. Everybody else who saw her Facebook status saw no information about her relationship status. This was to appease the critics in her life who wanted her to split up with him.
There are two reasons: their own jealousy, and because they want her to be under their control, not independent from them by her being more strongly bonded with a partner. She did not stand up for her right to be in a dedicated relationship but instead felt she had been forced into manipulation. For him, manipulation is a sign of a duplicitous personality who can not be trusted. On this basis, when he found out what she was up to, he was offended and made a decision to discuss it with her prior to ending the relationship. To have outright ended the relationship on this basis would have been a knee-jerk reaction albeit an understandable one.
The same people pressuring her to end the relationship have also pressured him and caused him problems by involving the authorities, all of which bounced off him because the authorities can see it for what it is based on the actual evidence; that her friends and family, her peers, are abusive, jealous women trying to control her.
This entire statement is re-branded as ‘mansplaining’ in the language of what used to be called radical-feminism but has now been rebranded as normal-feminism due to the extremists activities which used to be considered a form of domestic terrorism but is now considered normalised. The malicious personality traits are being used as agents of agendas of segregation by extremists controlled by a cult which is effectively destroying the stability of this nation under the guise of progressive feminism.
He believes in a relationship with an equal is a meeting of hearts, minds, bodies and soul. He respects the wisdom of a certificate on the wall of the local Marriage Registry which states; “Marriage is the world between two people to the exclusion of all others.”
She is not exclusive. She has empowered the fray of peers and community, along with their segregation agendas.
Both of the bitter, jealous, controlling people in question are themselves in marriages. His role, his intent is to protect her from them. However he has been compromised because she has rights to do what she wants, as endorsed by feminism. He was forced into a position, to protect his relationship. He offered her a hard line. To live in accordance with the confines of empowering a stable, loving relationship or to choose to live in accordance with feminism. She decided to try to have both because Feminism promises she can have both at the detriment of the stable loving relationship. Once again she proved these two disciplines are mutually exclusive. It gets tested almost continuously which is exhausting for everyone involved and amusing to the people throwing spanners into their home life.
There are two paths before you.
You are in a position of empowerment to choose which path.
You must choose one.
You can choose only one.
If you choose and change your mind, the game resets
but with a handicap and with the couple being regarded to have low integrity.
If you do not choose, you are not exempt from consequence.
If you do not choose, others will choose for you.
If you do not choose, you are regarded to have no agency therefore are of low integrity.
On one track, there is your loving fiancé.
On the other track, there are a community of bitter people, some of whom already are married and some whom hate men, all of whom want to split you up from your fiancé.
You must choose which to sacrifice.
If you change your mind, you will have sacrificed both.
The handicap to that is you will be regarded as having low-integrity.
Having a high integrity relationship is a form of empowerment.
You are deciding what to empower.
The reason this equation is valid is because there are only so many hours in a day to decide where to put your attention. Attention is energy. It is a form of currency. We are powerful energies, which is why others seek to control us and society teaches us we are worthless, as a tool to control us.
The critical question is;
do you want a fiancé, or
do you want to be owned by the community of jealous people who want to control you?
The jealous people will describe marriage as slavery. Remember, half of them are already married themselves but for whatever reason which is nothing to do with you they have not ended their own marriages.
People living in fear do not trust the Divine.
They are ‘Godless’ and disconnected from Source, Spirit, the holistic nature of reality.
They turn instead of false idols to worship, to cults,
such as for example the theories and philosophies of extremism and social agendas,
or to false friends and manipulative relations.
A successful marriage is one where the partners listen to each other and not to outside voices persuading them to cause friction within their family home.
When people are diagnosed with Personality Disorders it is very often because they cause friction for other people, to disrupt the Harmony.
The very fact that she chose to listen to them and not to her loving fiancé is all the evidence required to prove she does not respect marriage nor men. The string of men who she exploits along the way who are not scared off by her friends and relatives are persecuted at a higher stake by those same people, even when it bounces off them. The amount of problems those people are causing for men because they do not respect men adds to the mens stress associated with dating the girl in the first place. It is damaging antisocial behaviour.
She could have simply said to them;
“That’s my boyfriend and I love him, leave him alone, he means more to me than you do.”
But she is too afraid of the consequence, were she to raise self-respect boundaries to protect herself and her chosen life-partner, the world they are building together. The sociopaths would raise the stakes and cause even more problems for them as they observe her slipping out of their control.
She plays this game for self-validation.
- Psychology
She plays this game for self-validation.
At the core of it is the female psychology which women known too well.
Women emotionally exist on a spectrum, along a line of neurosis at one end and princess at the other. This is Yin energy.
What stabilises her is the masculine assertive Yang energy, which either boosts her toward princess or toward neurosis. Women love and fear Yang depending how safe they feel with it, and seek to control it the same way men seek to control and understand the feminine quality of Yin yielding energy. There are two sources of Yin and Yang which affect the balance of our own Yin and Yang; internal self-harmony, external other peoples influence.
This explains why women are drawn to some men but fear others, and men are drawn to some women but not others. Yin and Yang naturally work to harmonise with each other.
There are four quadrants each with its own expression;
Fearful yin (vulnerable dependant & vulnerable narcissism) - black hole
Confident yin (classical femininity, the worlds most treasured healing energy) - soothing star, life-nurturing
Fearful yang (overt domination) - exploding or collapsing star
Confident yang (assured protection) - radiant star, life-giving
The question then, what brings confidence?
The answer is stability. Inner stability feels like inner peace.
It is to have trust in the universe as a beneficial provider.
This is the best place to place trust.
Most relationships are not so clear and simple as to be black and white.
They are entanglements which function on many levels of being.
What creates a perception into a specific dimension of awareness?
Experiences.
Trauma-bonding creates connections on sub-Dom, passive-aggressive, push-you-pull-me levels of relating. In todays society, we basically as a generalisation all have varying trauma. We all function on a mish-mash of unregulated and non-identifiable levels of trauma-bond which we project outward onto others.
Social agendas will program us to shut down such complications on one side (marriage counselling methods) or the other (segregational feminism).
- Afterword
The resolution is always going to be open, honest communication about feelings and practicalities.
Of course, situations where the clash of mixed necessities and compromises built on compromises are going to be used as leverage for energy-manipulation unless you can gain sufficient empowerment for a clean break.
This fosters for the society of ‘mutual self-interest’ where people are disposable, replaceable and expendable having fulfilled purpose. This creates a pandemic of Narcissism.
"The problem is people treat things like people and people like things." anon
"The problem today is people don't cherish good people, they try to use them." Bob Marley.
"Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things." Sir Terry Pratchett.
"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires,
but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively." Bob Marley.
How do we defeat that?
Respect for one another needs.
Reinforcing the institute of happy marriages instead of destroying it.
You can see what the enemy to community is when you have the Humanitarian understanding which defines us as Being Humans.
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?
Five questions to ask before deciding whether to end your relationship or not.
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