I’m still dealing with one situation.
My efforts to do that are ignored.
I am expected to drop those efforts and that goal to deal immediately with the next problem I am faced with.
This repeats indefinitely.
It leaves me feeling that my efforts and resolutions are futile and ignored.
It devalues them and it devalues me.
If they are so easily discarded and devalued, why am I demanded to work tirelessly toward them at all?
What a waste of energy.
What a waste of time.
What a waste of me.
Basically it is this;
“Here is the goalposts.”
I use energy to play toward those goalposts.
Before reaching those goalposts,
you decide to change the goalposts.
I now have less energy.
Yet I have to start again.
I am on the defensive because you are controlling the goalposts.
I question:
why you are controlling the goalposts?
why you keep changing them?
why not me controlling the goalposts?
or, both of us working together.
Asking this, further drains my energy.
You ignore that question.
Also meanwhile,
you change the goalposts again.
*[see reference footnote]
By being the one who controls the goalposts is a delusion that you are the one in power. For you it’s about control. Control of the players. Control of me.
However, I’m not stupid and I know:
“The only way to win this game is to not play.”
At some point the players quit the game and call the goalpost-shifter ‘the problem maker’.
Who now has the power?
Also, when the players quit the game, the one who kept changing the goalposts starts shouting about how abusive the players are.
“Who controls the narrative, controls the goalposts.”
That’s basically it.
I experience this exact thing with so many people. It is cultural mainstream, accepted normalised behaviour.
What’s most scary? It’s always females. Not all females. It is always the same females who describe themselves by quoting the ‘feminism handbook’ as ‘empowered’ by their using the tactic of changing the goalposts.
Men are sick of it.
It is 2023 at time of writing.
Feminism in the west has failed hugely. You’ll see more signs of that everywhere during the next decade.
As more goalpost-changers begin to realise what’s happening, which is people do not see that as ‘power’ any more, the goalpost-changers will do what they know how to do; they will change the goalposts again to stay in control.
Nobody will play their games any more.
They will feel disempowered and blame the people for it who previously were running around trying to suport them. In our society, that’s a decreasing number of submissive men who have not yet seen what’s been happening for several generations.
The other men are teaching the other men how to adapt and survive. Men have changed the goalposts.
That’s the goalposts-shifters loss. That’s why it is not a power to keep changing the goalposts.
“So what should we do?”
Shut up, and Listen.
Take on board what the people who have quit that game so they can survive, are saying.
Shut up, and Listen. Stop being assertive, dominating Yang, and instead be receptive, accepting Yin. It will make a world of difference.
Adapt to survive. It’s pointless controlling an empty ball court with more goalposts than players and nobody wanting to play in it anyway.
I described them as ‘players’ but really they’re the ones being played. It’s more like flies caught in a spiders web or mice trying to escape a laboratory labyrinth.
In a novel I’ve been working on for a decade this is called:
The Sisterhood of the Fly
A network of covens of witches, each queen of their own fiefdom. Every single one of them is delusional. That delusion is recognised as the source of the witches power, a power which exists only within her dominion.
The martial arts adepts, one by one defeat them all by identifying what is their delusion.
So there has been good in our relationship because dealing with you and writing this has given a whole chapter for the novel, exactly as this is.
I am what during the late 20th century was described by women as ‘a new man’. I am the result of Feminism.
I do not hate women. I can testify from experience why “feminism is cancer” because of the damage its methods of control have done to so many people and to our culture in general.
(Cough suicide rates of men cough).
I also accept how it was necessary for us to go through all of this to learn and develop. To create a more compassionate, inclusive culture, better for everyone than anything we have ever had before.
The game of changing goalposts happens conversationally. Every line of dialogue is either a reference, a response and continuation of the original goal, or it was a change of goalpost toward a different goal.
State your goals. If you do not know the goals, be aware of what direction you are empowering with your attention and energy.
The best way to achieve a gargantuan task is to tackle it step-by-step. The basic blueprint is an overview in which there are three stages to achieving any goal.
1 Establish what the Goal is.
2 Work out step-by-step how to achieve that goal.
3 Work through the process.
The problem with continual goal-post shifting is it depletes energy to ensure people never achieve any goal, and it disregards any goals which are achieved as being redundant and irrelevant, therefore are a pointless waste of effort. No satisfaction involved.
Relationship goals & how to achieve them.
List them. In any order.
You will be surprised.
What is my goal with my partner?
Stop bickering with her.
Keep her happy (emotionally mentally physically spiritually practically).
Do not exploit her or get exploited by her.
Have sex with her as often as possible.
Feel safe together.
Discuss regularly our lifestyle to ensure we’re both happy with it.
Increase our wealth, happiness, health, value, status, etc; not degrade and decrease it.
To be productive together.
To enhance each others quality of life, those ‘under our wing’ and all those we connect with in the community.
Grow together.
Stage Two
I deviated a lot there. Necessary perhaps because a lot of other stuff came into it. It highlights how deviation from the core topic occurs easily even without being distracted by the goalposts changing. One could argue it is necessary, to do the topic justice.
Analysis of How they change the goalposts.
Changing the topic (deflection).
Accusations designed to put the person on the defensive. (disrespect)
Exaggeration, lies, manipulation, fabrication, etc. (amoral tactics of war)
Any combination of these together in the same sentence designed to scatter the persons attention and ability to focus.
Studies have showed that what happens to people subjected to this maltreatment, especially long-term and repeatedly, by one source or multiple, is it causes short and long term cognitive impairment. It causes brain damage. This is why it is recognised as abusive behaviour. The Geneva Convention describes it as a form of torture and has outlawed it in European nations.
*Reference Footnote
1
Don Matus taught Carlos Casteneda who taught us how the primary teaching of the shamen is called Stalking the Attention. To observe without judgement.
The importance of this is paraphrased below from the source material by my memory twenty years after I read the books, saw them to be real and began studying the teachings.
The biggest difference between sorcerers and normal people is similar to what normal people describe as being the difference between Homo sapiens and other animals. Although they are wrong about that. animals are greater sorcerers with more awareness than most normal people. Normal people seldom recognise this because they are slaves to their mind. They do not differentiate between themselves and the mind. When I say mind here what I mean by it is the inner monologue or inner dialogue. It is not the same thing as ‘hearing voices’ which Diagnostic Manual defines as symptomatic of schizotypal disorder. Rather it is a reference to the operating system. The mind is so much more than simply the inner dialogue. The inner dialogue is a continual stream of conscience which normal people mistakenly identify as their self. The mind is not the self. Sorcerers are different from normal people in that we continuously for all our lives study the mind in real-time in a particular way. We apply this also to our observation of the external worlds. We describe this practise of observing the mind as the art of stalking the attention. The mind is tricky. The mind has its own faculty. It is this faculty with which we are dealing. It affects our ability to observe purely to see the truth of what we are seeing. We cannot simply observe the mind because to do so is to trigger its own awareness that we are observing it. We have to observe it without it recognising it is being observed. When it recognises it is being observed it changes the focal topic of awareness. That is its trick. As soon as it changes the focal topic we immediately forget we are supposedly observing the functioning of the mind, we are straight away back in it and caught up with its new topic. This training develops the attention. We can then use the attention to observe more purely and without judgement clouding our interpretation of what it is we are seeing. Only by this way can we come to know the truth of reality. Normal people exist in constant delusion about the worlds they pass through, interact with to whatever extent, many of them reinforcing one another’s delusions. The sorcerer is not fundamentalist about the delusions, only about the study of reality through the method of detachment from what we often call mind. The actual mind is something bigger, a different faculty more easily available only after we have silenced the inner monologue. Of course, those normal people who would keep you in mental slavery gladly describe any detachment from mind as being a state of insanity. For the shamen it is the other way around. To detach from delusion by learning to see purely is not insanity, quite the opposite.
2
Sigmund Freud and Gustav Carl Jung used a model of psychology where the Id (self-identify based on what you want to be and to be known as) and super-ego (self-identity based on reinforced habitual reactions and conditioned behavioural responses), are two aspects of the delusional self. Neither of which is the true self although both are components of the self. The ego is the part of self which correlates not only these but also the subconscious as it arises. An argument can be made the subconscious is closer to the true self than the mask of the Id or the programmed Super-Ego. One purpose of Freud and Jung is ‘to make the subconscious conscious’.
A problem has occurred in western civilisation where we now use the word ‘ego’ (egotism) as an insult describing a self-centred person caught up excessively in their own delusions, rather than accepting what it was intended by Freud and Jung as a valuable mechanic for correlating and processing sensory and mental information from various aspects of a persons self.
3
An analogy can be made here between the psychological model used by the founders of modern psychology and the shamanic model taught by indigenous Yaqui Indians of South American who trace their lineage back to through civilisations of that region.
How is this relevant to us?
When a goalpost changes in conversation to redirect a persons attention, the trickster is the person changing the goalposts. It is a tool of maintaining power over another person.
When the mind itself changes the topic to avoid being detected, it is a tool of the ego maintaining power. Again it is about control.
It is so the mind and mental conditioning can stay in power over the person, rather than the person learning to use the mind as a tool.
In one case, the mind itself is the source of the persons mental deviation.
In the other case, someone else’ mind is the source of the individuals mental deviation. That persons mind is likely also conditioned to deviate.
A chain of delusions is established to energise reptilian structures of shared understandings using those parts of the brain, the limbic regions, as opposed to the mammalian frontal lobes or any other less primitive, more spiritual regions.
Kundalini flows from root through all the bodily systems to the crown chakra, the thousand petal lotus. Except for most of us it’s not a multitude of petals which function as an eye. If it is open at all it is probably monoculturalism to empower a slavery system which controls most people in their beliefs and behaviour. That is what Society is.
When you can see this for what it is, you can not un-see it. When people become angry, aggressive, use strawman arguments, manipulation and insults you to grind you down (Yang traits) instead of collaborating openly (Yin traits) and positively to allow connection with the divine Harmony; that’s your reptile cult actively worshiping Satan.
That’s the best I can do to explain it.
I tried to keep it succinct as possible.
Sisterhood of the Fly is a faction from the universe of project: tRust (link to follow), c2013 c2023 Ordo Octopia
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