Citrine

Most people need healing after relationship breakup especially where there are children involved in a timeshare which is the majority culture in Britain now. Even if no children are involved the following meditational mantra has been created to facilitate internal change toward a happier state. It is written for the perspective of a woman however it applies equally as valid to a man. I did not use “they them” gender greyness because this is personal and intimate. It has to be for it to work best. It is a positivity based strategy for creating long-term successful relationship with someone you can’t ghost or gray-stone. 

I want to be, possibly have to become, the person he falls in love with again and regrets losing for the rest of his life. That will be sweet vengeance. My behaviour towards him will fulfil this agenda.

I will establish firm boundaries. No matter how much he desires me, and no much no matter how much I may at times desire him too whether I admit it or not, I will respect the boundaries of capital letters NO. He will never touch me again. That is punishment. 

I am fully aware an apparent narcissistic tendency invoked by my controlling him in this or any way. Although I would prefer to have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with him ever again, I am not in a situation to do that. I must therefore accept my situation as the reality and stabilise myself in it. 

This means to accept a dynamic will exist between us and that I have an ability to control that dynamic. No matter what I do nor how I act and react with him, we will be affecting each other psychologically, emotionally, practically, et cetera.

I am now ready to seize control of that dynamic which requires nothing more than self-control which is a major aspect of self-respect. I am fully capable of self control. He will no longer control me because I will establish and reinforce firm boundaries. These will be normal humane social boundaries based on respect of any other living being. I am aware it will at times be challenging.

I shall be the sweetest ex-partner imaginable. This is how I shall control the situation. I am fully equipped naturally to do this already. He will experience no venom from me. This shall be my discipline. The stronger I am the stronger I become.

This is the purist path towards the situation of universal love where all anger, anxiety, hatred, eventually dissolves. I must train him to value and respect me. To accomplish this there must be no reason whatsoever for him to devalue and disrespect me. I understand well that humans being fallible do occasionally fail at such honourable tasks, myself included. I will forgive both myself and him for failings and continue toward positivity. 

Where I have to bite down bitter venom and swallow it myself, I will find more successful ways to accomplish that. There are many. I am intelligent, creative and compassionate, I am certain to find multiple methods which suit me. Our human culture offers many diverse appropriate outlets. 

I am physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, geared toward expressing and expelling all emotions including the purging of toxic thoughts, feelings and behaviour; safely. 

I will break the bridge of targeting him with hate through which he targets me with hate. 

Somebody has to be the bigger person. I knowingly choose and accept myself for what I am, to be that bigger person.