Back in counseling, because the state she left me in after invading my life. A service which I am paying for because I need it ASAP and the free charity services relied on by the state have an eighteen month waiting list for men because women get “emergency” preferential treatment.
It was not until I read this website;
did I recognize that I had been putting up with domestic abuse. In my recent relationship, in previous relationships and all through my life.
I’d thought all that crap was normal; because I experienced it most of my life in most of my relationships including from my parents during childhood. I had thought there was something wrong with me because an unrecognized feeling of discomfort and wrongness about what is expected of me and relationship routines I had accepted because I thought that was normal.
I only recognized it as actually being abusive when I saw it listed in bullet point, and identified that’s what I’ve been through. Repeatedly.
Almost the entire social recognition of domestic abuse and certainly that recognized by the court system, is that men are unilaterally abusive and women are unilaterally victims. It just ain’t so!
It’s a cultural thing, not just personal to me. That I am a communicator and have been through so much of it, it’s obvious I’m going to be talking about it.
A lot of the time, the abusers do not even recognize what they’re doing is abusive and neither do the victims. It is being culturally reinforced that it is normality for her to abuse him in a variety of ways and get away with it, partly because everybody knows the program; “we live in a male dominated culture and women are vulnerable!” We are told this every week! Because it serves an agenda!
Nobody thought it was wrong to have Negro slaves at the time in history where that was normal and everyday for a lot of people.
Nobody outside of Islam thinks it is wrong to use a usury based currency system because it’s so normal to us, despite once having understood how the financial system works, it creates a black hole of debt that gets bigger exponentially, devaluing everything requiring more lending and higher interest rates in an endless loop.
How can women get away with domestic abuse so often? Here are three reasons;
- Because nobody recognizes that’s what it is.
- Nobody stands up against it. Why don’t men stand up against their abusive girlfriends and tell them to fuck off? Because men need sex and women apparently don’t, at least that’s how most of them act toward most men most of the time and men are damned if we openly discuss it and suggest that women do actually need recreational sex regularly too. Abusers use sex as leverage to exploit and control men, the pleasure they get is from that as much empowerment and control as it is physical. It is controlling behavior, it is abuse.
- As soon as a victim of a narcissistic abuser recognize what is happening to them, the narcissist shouts and cries about how their victim is the abuser and they have been victimized. It is all about supply to them, except they call it support. As a result men are afraid to stand up against their abusers in case society punished them for it - which it ties, often involving police and legal system who unquestioningly protect the female and endorse her lies.
This is what the mgtow movement (men going their own way) is about; recognizing the one thing of value which women have to men in modern times is sexual. It is also about the man recognizing his own worth.
Yet most of us desire to be in dedicated monogamous stable relationships. When people come together who can rise above all of that and maintain a level above all else, to enjoy mutual pleasure of each other without the accompanying bullshit. Without taking energy from a partner which is the black hole system of destruction all over again.
It is about being respectable (deserving of being respected) by being respectable (in how we behave).