Tuesday, 23 November 2021


Sometimes, you’ve got to love them.

This transcript is an insight into systematic abuse, narcissism and one method to deal with it (by exposure). 

Permission granted to copy-paste and adapt this blog-post only, for your own personal necessity. 


Your behaviour of leading men on only to push him away is typified characteristic of Emotional Manipulation for the purpose of your Self Validation. 

You will next play the Poor Me angle and attempt to justify how you are not responsible for your own actions because of your traumatic past experience has resulted in your emotional insecurity. 

This stands in stark contrast to the ‘strong, confident, independent, force to be reckoned with’ you initially present yourself as. 

I expect you would leverage that to allege I have destroyed your confidence by undermining your egotism and disabling your game face. 

You are aware of the affect your behaviour has on other people because you literally apologised for “doing my head in”. 

That’s your assumption I responded a particular way to your behaviour. 

Possibly you can’t imagine anyone would respond any other way to your behaviour because that is outside your comprehension. 

I have pulled you up on all this because I will not put up with being Emotionally Manipulated, ‘strung-along’ or any other narcissistic abuse. 

Instead you will next have a go at me for analysing your confusing behaviour and pulling you up on it. 

Which I am naturally going to do simply by virtue of having my own mind and which is necessary for any further interactions, in the name of integrity, and for your own CBT. 

Would I do that if I had no interest in it at all? You won’t openly recognise this as a valid factor. 

Then you will back off entirely for a year before forgetting about this incident or hoping I have forgotten it (which I won’t). Then you will repeat exactly the same thing again. I know this because it is what you always do. That’s our cycle. 

How are you going to break it? 

I do not enjoy any of that. I am bothering to go through this with you for four good reasons. 

1 In part because I have Self Value outside of whatever your opinion. I am establishing a boundary by standing up to your ongoing behaviour toward me. 

2 In part because of ‘old times sake’ although that’s growing old now especially as you won’t ever put your money where your mouth is and act on your hollow promises to visit me while in the same breath showing off about how much money you’re wasting. 

3 In part because your having metaphorically knocked my door, you will be metaphorically fed the food I choose to give you (Truth) and not whatever food you assumed you’d be getting from my table (‘disposable attention on tap’). 

Around here we don’t chew people up and spit them out unless that’s how they’ve previously disrespected us. We do not have time for time-wasters, controlling behaviour and any other general bullshit. 

4 There is also, always the possibility you might have knocked my door because you need my help in putting you straight. 

That’s what you’re getting a heavy dose of here. That’s a favour to the wider community as much as to you personally. 

Consider yourself having Been Told. 

Friday, 5 November 2021

Keeping Real

Keeping Real

All those people can never get it to work. 

I got it to work. 

They made me feel like an outcast. 

So there I was, an outcast who could do something other people could not do, feeling bad about that. I felt bad about it for years until one day I realised; 

“My positivity is more important than their negativity.”

On that day my life changed because my attitude changed. Attitude towards myself changed. My self-talk changed. I recognised it’s irrelevant what other people think or say. They might be right, they might be wrong, but they are not who I should be listening to in either case. 

The immediate criticism was that I’d become more selfish. I closed my door to a whole bunch of people and became more of a loner than ever. I decided it was better to be a productive loner hiding in my cave than to be a miserable loner constantly distracted by trying to live up to other peoples dogmatic expectations. 

I absorbed the same attitude they were generating, I adapted to survive the social conditions. I’m not here to feed their egos. If anything they’re here to feed mine and if they can’t do that, there’s no point in them existing in my life. This is not the same thing as I had become selfish and egotistical. It was the establishing of a boundary. 

I’d finally had enough of suffering, of putting up with other people grinding me down and discouraging me from achieving anything or even believing good about myself. It applies to everybody, people of all walks of life from the beggar in the street who looks down on me because I had more wealth that day, to the teacher in school, the policeman who stop and search me because they were bored, a job interviewer who decided I was not the right person for the job because I questioned employee rights for example no plants or open windows in the office space, no fresh air there. 

I was walking the trail of most everybody I encountered was out to put me down for one reason or another and very often for reasons contradictory to those of the last person who had put me down. 

After being ground down for so long I recognise that the grindstone simply sharpens the axe. 

The purpose of all these external influences was to get me to recognise that. Almost as soon as I recognised that and got all the losers off my back, my own energy levels improved. My own sense of well-being and self-worth improved. 

The change was internal, a decision I made within myself about myself. It was a critical judgement but an important one and it undermined the programming I received from the general background culture for years. 

I accelerated. My art got better, my music improved, I was more productive than ever. I shifted up through the spheres. 

Got into a relationship, we became pregnant I’m now a dad with dad skills, a parent raising the next generation to be more successful than the previous generations. 

The main focus of which is: empowering self-belief of the individual to feel not only they deserve to be here and belong on the planet at this time, but thank God they are here because it would be worse if they weren’t. 

The individual has the power to turn the tide of the masses on that one to one basis. Otherwise without that individual, the zombie masses are herded over a cliff to their doom. The individual alone can change their own direction only by leaving the masses behind and doing their own thing. And that is how it is supposed to be. 

The criticisms which I had put up with for so long which had undermined my sense of self-worth, that looking after myself properly was selfishness and I should be ashamed for doing it, that taking pride of my accomplishments was egotistical and I should actually feel guilty about doing something other people could not do. 

I emerged from a fertile cultural compost of vitamin enriched shit which has made me stronger and more powerful, a crushing process has distilled and purified my attitude in the value and worth of the individual, pitted against the misery of a repressive collective. A vastly accepted delusion which is the operating system in the minds of the majority of regurgitative zombies we encounter. 

As was proved and widely endorsed throughout the region of Europe during the Nuremberg trials, it is the individuals duty to question authority of others, to avoid inhumane and tragic outcomes. 

My message is quite simple. You can recognise it by now for what it is. You do it your way if you want to achieve. If you don’t know what is your way, study by following your intuition instead of bad advice from derogatory and controlling narcissists who outnumber us 10 to 1. 

There is however, that rare individual or two who will authentically support you and give you good advice. Analyse, use your intuition, figure out who is the good, who is the bad. Who is the fake and who is a real person.

This is not my story. 

This is the conclusion to my story. 

This is my life wisdom distilled down into a single, simple message. The important insight to which the purpose of my life. The import, the thing I wish to convey to everybody of all generations is also simultaneously a statement about the civilisation and culture, the social environment of the world I have lived in. 

The quest for relevance.

Wednesday, 27 October 2021


A standard psychology model underlaying the Human Value System. 

We gain self-esteem by achieving challenges. Others recognise this. 

We evaluate based on recognition of this and we apply value to those who achieve challenges. Living up to our responsibilities being the biggest of these criteria. 

1 Undermining other peoples ability to achieve their responsibilities and challenges, and 

2 Not recognising where they do are the two major approaches of socially dysfunctional, sociopathic saboteurs (for example the umbrella of narcissism and its related branches of personality disorders) to undermine others well-being. Usually by people serving social control agendas (agents) and very often that agenda is simply selfishness vs community awareness (empathy). 

The training to identify hallmark characteristics of these behavioural patterns is largely through experience of dealing with them. The textbook can only offer patterns of projections which result in misleading diagnosis because of inexperience with the subtle nuances involved. 

For example, specific symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome (NAS)  are textbook identical to broad-based symptoms of narcissism. Both cases gain Attention=Energy by creating stress in others either by harbouring or manufacturing stress. 

This is why it’s such a problem dealing with the pandemic of narcissism affecting our communities. 

After a lot of review and with mind to remain positive and progressive it was determined the only way out of the paradigm is CBT to completely replace the paradigm with a simpler more wholesome one, than to become entangled with case specific minutia and negativity. 

The new paradigm is characterised by empowerment slogans. 

Conscious evolution. 

Power of positive thinking. 

Do not feed the Black Hole. 

Every moment we have the power to redirect the flow of energy flowing though us, away from a negative manifestation and instead empowering toward a positive and stable manifestation. By letting go and emptying the mind and whole being. 

Friday, 15 October 2021

Mags Rags

Margaret’s Blankets 

I purchased these for £10 each from charity shop sometime after she died. 

Only after I got home and opened the bags, I recognised the smell. Its exactly the same smell as inside her house was when I’d visit her to do odd jobs now and then. 

I washed Margaret’s stinky duvets five times including with dishwasher cleaner solution at 60 degrees (it’s polyester recommended wash at 40 degrees) and aired it for nearly a week. 

It still stinks of the black spirit it contains. I’ve been talking with that entity and with Margaret. Not sure if it’s two aspects of her or if it’s two separate spirits which combined and for much of her life until her death they were symbiotic. 

I don’t want the thing in me!!! 

It’s already tried. One night after one wash I had the least smelly blanket on me and woke up from a nightmare in which a black sleechy spirit was attempting enter me at cellular level. I pushed it out and discovered within me I do have the power to push it out! 

Self-belief and willpower got stronger. Another lesson from the spirit world in the purpose of willpower and confidence in self-belief which strengthens will power. The act of pulling oneself together into harmony makes you stronger. A lot of people don’t like to do that because it reveals self-limitations.

As soon as I push the entity off me, I woke up from the lucid dream and realised immediately it was the blanket, so I threw that out of the room and slept the rest of the night through. The next day I went out and bought £20 of washing detergents. 

The blankets are nice but we can’t burn plastic polyester because pollution so they’re going in the land refill. Such a shame.

The lesson is been good, it’s all about attachments. Attachments and letting go. 

Otherwise it will attach itself to you & guide you to negativity. Good your aware & recornise it!” Said my spiritual friend when I relayed the story and it’s lesson. 

I can see that clinginess is part of its nature. Part of Margarets teaching is, well it’s quite obvious I have some sort of attachment disorder from the amount of trash I fill my House up with. Developing the reflex to let go, for me is progressive development. These blankets now contain that, which is their purpose in my life.

The symbols on those blankets, colours and shapes. Although the translations on the following sheet are not ‘perfect’ in the original intended tense, the general theme is there. Remember about Egyptian Heiroglyphic it is a poetic language so the flexibility was intentional. 

Example ‘mouth’ means both ‘speech’ and ‘to eat’ as well as the physical and other associated actions. It relates both to the mouth in your head and to female genitalia. Highlighting this symbol is the developed form of the mouth symbol for ‘eye’ and ‘emanations from eye’. 

Those blankets have lots of little mouths. They’re communicative but also they eat little bits of energy. And they do feed, I’ve laid under one and it near drained me to the depth of mortal fear necessary to test and strengthen my self-esteem. It was hungry to be eating so much at once! It’s a creature. The square symbols all relate to World, House, Earth, Body. It’s a grid. Then there’s the colour symbolism… 

Compare other contemporary uses of the same symbols and associated concepts: 

Monday, 4 October 2021

Echelon (Era & Echo)

Echelon (era and echo)

The purpose of the occult group was to continue the spiritual traditions secretly after the persecution, a particular and specific task assigned to that group after the priesthood was dissolved. 

To monitor the transmigration of the soul. 

To what purpose? 

To learn what we are and what life is.

The method is to identify the vessel into which a known soul is to be reincarnated, to nurture that child until such time as signs of self-awareness from the souls past life can be identified, especially as education and training to wake up past life memories, to integrate.

Egyptology is full of this. Ba, Ka, Ru-spirit, aspects of Self. To understand that better in a pure context we must explore Buddhism.

The question is:

Are we simply preparing a vessel for another soul to occupy it, or has that other soul organically and naturally come into that vessel? Is it possible that the vessel could have two souls both its own original one and the one that’s reincarnated into it? 

Do these two selves compete or combine within an individual to become a whole individual? 

Or is it more simply that, the individual is an animal until the soul awakens?

Following from which, once these questions have been answered, should the tradition be continued as it is simply because that is sufficient to maintain the tradition and the human awareness of what we are, or does it need to adapt to beyond that?

Different branches within the underground priesthood emerged. Some believe that specialist schools to answer each specific question which came up was necessary and those became the foundation of entire cultures supported by farmers to great food, trade, rulers over the domain while the spiritual was explored in the temple complex by those initiated into the mysteries who could see further than the simple power base of a ministry.

Those who deal with the dead, spiritists, are regarded by the non-initiated, “spiritually dead” to be necromancers by those who deal with ‘the light’, an aspiration towards spirituality and by those who deal with the practicality of governing mortal affairs. 

Therefore the highest are discredited by the middle grounds as being the lowest, which is problematic. The uppermiddle of officialdom regarded as being the highest, which is problematic.  

Friday, 24 September 2021

BS detector game

Our perceptions are wired to the brain. The brain is designed to constantly update. 

When we lie the brain goes into a shape where the lie becomes the neural pathway. 

When we perceive through a neural pathway which is a lie, we do not see the truth. 

The crime creates the punishment. The crime of lying disables us from seeing truth. 

It is physics, it is biology.

If the truth is a straight line between point A and point B, while a lie is a deviation which goes to point C then to point D, the perception will also take the path of the deviation because that is the structure we had supplied for it. 

Physics, all energy is a wave. It is measurable electromagnetically. Sensitive people can sense whether anything goes from point A to point B or whether it goes to point C and D simply because they compare it to their own internal integrity as we all do. 

Those with no integrity have damaged their own ability to detect and determine falsehood externally. 

When we are asked to believe anything is true without questioning and analysing it, we enter into the realm of damaging our own truth-sense.

Board Game

The BS Detector Game 

A grid of 5x5

Player has 5 markers. 

Markers cannot occupy the same space on the board grid. 

Round One

Player places a marker on line 1 row 3.

Each turn the player places another marker. 

It is placed either one square in front of the previous (line 2 row 3) for True or sideways (line 1 row 2 or 4) for Lie. 

If a player makes a row which goes outside the board, they are ‘caught lying’ and lose the game, game over. If the player makes a straight line between line 1 and line 5, they are Honest and win the game. 

Each turn a question is asked to which the player either Lies or says the Truth. 

The questions are all along the same pattern:

“In this situation, would you lie or tell the truth? The situation is…” (examples)

Most of the questions are selfishness-based questions. There are variants of types of questions. 

The options for answering are: Truth, Lie or No Reply where for the purposes of game play, no reply is considered to be a lie. In a softer multiplayer version of the game, no reply is to skip a go. 

The questions should get tougher the closer toward winning the player comes. 

Round Two

This board game illustrates how our neural pathways develop. 

Information comes into the senses through the neural network created in round one. Whether it is true information or false information (delusion and misperception) relies entirely on the structure of the neural network. 

If the player has any children, they will inherit the parents neural network. (Introducing new players to the game). 

Each turn, sensory ‘information’ comes to the player through the neural network. Information has numeric value. 

Information from line 5 is 5 points. 

Information from line 4 is 4 points. 

Information from line 3 is 3 points. 

Information from line 2 is 2 points. 

Information from line 1 is 1 point. 

Each turn we total up the score:

A direct link (row 3 in all five lines) is worth 15 points per turn. The player told truth every turn in round one. 

A link between line one row three and line one row one is worth a total of 3 points. The player lied every turn in round one. 

There can be mixtures of truths and lies from round one to put the link into different shapes of different numeric values. 

For every fifteen points gained, a player gains an extra marker. Truthful players receive this every turn. Total liars receive this every five turns. 

Round Three

How to cleanse a broken neural network? 

Continue asking new truth/lie questions each turn and placing markers. 

If a player cannot place a marker, place markers in the next available space in this order: 

fill up line one, 

then fill up line two, 

then fill up line three, 

then fill up line four, 

or until by filling up lower lines it becomes possible, when a player tells a truth, to progress a marker to the next higher line as normal. 


The assumption is the player will be honest about lying and admit they lied. Where a player lies and pretends it is the truth to move forward up the board, there is no stop-check but the players own relationship with Truth. 

Use of other players as adjudicators of truth is not the best policy because that way the truth can be re-branded as a lie by those who habitually lie. The delusional enforcing delusion onto the truthful by accusing the truth of being a lie. 

Sadly this happens very often. 

Friday, 17 September 2021


“The truth is not discovered in seeking new horizons but in seeing with new eyes.” 

Ancient Proverb 

Evolving beyond the id. 

(Self-identity with external delusions).

Letting go of the super-ego. 

(Experiences and Conditioning). 

When we are truly Alive we are in the moment Now. 

Not held back by decisions of the past based on past events. 

Not owned by distractions. 

There is stillness. 

There is intuition. 

There is wholesome knowing. 

This is our completion. 

We flow purely without complexity. 

Enjoyment of simply Being.  

Enjoyment of being a part of the All, 

in our right place at the right time, 

doing the right thing. 

Belief dissolves away 

is replaced by Relief 

of harmony with the Harmony. 

Wednesday, 15 September 2021


Dear Utility Point Member,

I trust you are well in these uncertain times.
A few months ago, we appointed the global professional services firm Alvarez & Marsal Europe LLP (“A&M”) to advise on our strategic investment options going forward.
Despite substantial interest and continued negotiations with several suitable parties and best efforts, recent international and national circumstances have created a perfect storm of events which has meant that Utility Point will cease trading and another supplier will be taking over your supply.
All of us at Board level have been working hard towards a different outcome, and I wish I had better news to report to you today but regrettably in the end we weren’t able to overcome these external forces.

Now, we must begin switching gears and preparing for the wind-down process, which we expect to begin as soon as this afternoon. 

We will enter the Supplier of Last Resort (SOLR) process today, Tuesday 14 September at 14:00. We have already switched all phone lines over to a message which will inform you we have entered this process however you can still get hold of us in an emergency with the usual number provided. You will find our website contains the standard OFGEM message as well as some F&Qs you may find useful and a copy of this letter.
More about why this has happened

Utility Point has undergone a remarkable evolution in the past three years as we’ve pursued our vision to become one of the nation’s leading utility companies, indeed rising to 15th biggest in the UK during this time. Previously I have commented that we have seen – and mastered – many challenging situations and I have always been so proud and inspired by the way our company has risen to these challenges - with flexibility, resilience, and courage, but current global events coupled with the ongoing COVID-19 situation has been a significant challenge and understandably so.

PFP Energy - which had around 80,000 domestic customers and MoneyPlus Energy, which had around 9,000 domestic customers ceased to trade last week, and we expect several others to follow suit in the coming weeks and months.

Pressures will continue to rise in the market as wholesale energy prices have soared to record levels from what has been a 99 percentile move off the back of an increase in extreme weather conditions leading to a global gas supply shortage, inability to provide timely and necessary generator maintenance causing multiple sites to be taken offline simultaneously, lower exports from Russia and rising demand.

To put this in some perspective, prices in the UK have recently hit over 157 pence per therm compared to less than 30 pence per therm one year ago. Power prices closely follow the gas price and have climbed to an unprecedented level of over £540 per MwH. This is more than four times their normal level over the past decade. This has meant that National Grid have asked coal-fired power stations to switch on to help manage demand.

Indeed, it may be worth noting that testing of the Norwegian electricity interconnector continued last week, exporting power out of the UK, even though the UK power market was experiencing a tight system and prices well over £3000 per MWh!

Graph 1 – (Month Ahead Prices. Daily view 14/09/20 - 01/10/21) below, clearly shows the rise in wholesale power over the past year reaching highs of over £145 per MWh just last week however, this has now spiked further to over £540 per MWh as previously discussed.  
Graph 1 – Month Ahead Prices
You may be aware last year OFGEM announced that all suppliers where required to offer extended payment terms and be more lenient with the collection of debt due to the pandemic, something they are asking to continue into this winter. Utility Point has always supported all its members and understands the variability of vulnerability and that it is not static, supporting many of our members through hard and uncertain times. Unfortunately, this extra support has meant an increase in debt and deficit. 

On top of all this the price cap on default tariffs which was introduced to limit the amount suppliers can charge customers has not been covering the costs of supplying energy which means that every supplier is undercharging for energy and that the fair cost for energy that OFGEM was trying to encourage is actually well under the value at which it costs to supply. Although the rise in the level of the price cap is set to increase by £139 from October to reflect rising wholesale costs, bringing the average dual fuel bill to £1,277, this is still over £200 below the cost to supply the energy and it has been impossible to hedge in line with the way the price cap is calculated making the whole market unsustainable to operate in. Indeed, in most cases the only reason that suppliers end up charging more for energy than it costs is to offset the cost of debt and the collection of debt which is a major issue in the industry and one that requires a rethink as those that can, and do pay, end up paying for those that don’t pay.

This toxic mix of circumstances and lack of commercial understanding from the certain powers has made it impossible to continue, indeed the only real outcome for consumers, which will be felt in the coming year, is that prices will rise for the very people that they are trying to protect.

Thus, it is due to this perfect storm and with great sadness we close our doors.

Whether you’ve been with Utility Point for a few months or several years, I hope you know how much we valued your custom and you have enjoyed some of the small perks we have offered along the way. Thank you.

The coming weeks will be difficult as we wind down operations, but I ask my team to continue to hold their heads highs. They have done us proud and, I hope you will join me in wishing them all the very best in their future endeavours.

Warmest Regards,
Ben Bolt
Chief Executive Officer

Visit our website: utilitypoint.co.uk