Monday, 17 January 2022


For over a decade I asked, handing my authority away to them, for them to consider my perspective, which they never did. 

I finally to use a phrase ‘manned up’, went to see them and stated my solicitor believes I have a strong case for their libel on the premise there is no evidence to support their allegation. 

Over a decade of being fobbed off, I was finally taken seriously. 

Within two weeks, the time it takes for phone calls to be made and decisions to be made, I was invited at 10 o’clock in the morning on the 1st of January 2019 to the senior head of the County department for a meeting. The highest authority in the matter I have met so far. His words, and I quote;

“You’re not schizophrenic. I can see that right away. I work with those people every day and you are nothing like them. I have read your paperwork and I do suggest it is possible that you are high functioning autism.” 

To which I replied, in a great sense of relief; “I agree with you, it is possible that I am on the autistic spectrum.” 

Ed explained there is an 18 month waiting list for assessment. Shortly afterward in  March of 2019 we went into global lockdown because of coronavirus outbreak. By autumn of 2021 I was told the autism assessment were currently processing the applications from 2018, there is literally a five year waiting list to be assessed.

The assessment criteria questions are easily available on the Internet. I did the assessment. There are 25 questions. The first question, do you have a problem with communication. 

My immediate response is recognition that it is too broad-based a question to give a clear answer for therefore these questions will give inaccurate diagnostic.

I would at this point request the reader to assess whether I have been able in this manuscript to explain where I’m coming from sufficiently. Ergo, I am highly successful at communicating.

I would at this point request the reader to assess whether it having taken me over 10 years for the state departments to listen to my point of view regarding my case and to take it seriously, reveals that I do in fact have quite a large problem with communication. In which case, the answer is the absolute opposite; I am useless at communicating. 

There is evidence for both things. 

How can they both simultaneously be true?

The diagnostic criteria is black-and-white yes or no. I have failed to be able to fill this form in because it does not make sense to me.

I do not understand this form. That is my answer.

On this basis, any interviewer is going to tick the box for yes, this person does have a problem in communicating. Although, for the record, I have given a detailed reply and have clearly communicated the whole picture better than were I to robotically answer in black-and-white.

At this stage I identified, this is a questionnaire for robots and I am not a robot.

Does that make me autistic?

Autistic is when it is either yes or no. Autistic is sometimes yes and sometimes no. This is why everybody is on the autistic spectrum. Autistic is a grey area we cannot be precise about.

The difference between low functioning-autism and high-functioning autism is that a high-functioning autism person is able to express themselves with far more lucidity than an average person. Hello functioning autistic person is in able to express themselves with even an average level of ability.

Does that make sense? In which case, it is a trick question. The answer being sought is outside of the bounds of the question. You have been led to believe you are answering one question when you are indeed answering a different question. It is all within the context of analysing whether a person is autistic although a sticking point occurs wherever trickery is endorsed as methodology. 

The rejection of non-truth, of anything which smells ever so faintly of trickery, is now identified as a factor of what autism is. Anything which feels of bullshit, is rejected. Those who accept the bullshit perception label those who do not as being mentally deviant.

It is an assessment of autism, not an assessment of truth-integrated mental-processing and behaviour. 

What even is autism? Certainly people with low functioning autism are very different to people with high functioning autism. So much that one wonders if they are the same disorder after all. Whether this so-called spectrum of which is spoken in mental health circles, even exists or is accurate in diagnosing people. We have however confirmed that the one is doing the diagnosis endorsed crooked thinking as normalised mainstream.

All this has come as a response to question one, do you have a problem with communicating? 

I have identified my problem is not with communicating. Anyone reading this and following my logic can see that. The problem is with other people interpreting and re-interpreting, the problem is with other people misleading in their communications, the use of deceit. Those other people are full of that. 

My problem with communicating does not come from an internal mechanism having gone awry within my own being. 

My problem with communicating comes entirely from the listener. Specifically, from the listeners use of rigged goalposts and acceptance of their own cognitive bias as being a superior frame of reference than my own integrity. 

That is close to a definition of prejudice.

Those specific seats of office, positions of social responsibility, that level of authority, generally attracts the type of people who are operating from their own cognitive bias. The case studies are written by them. The literature based upon those case studies is written by them. They do not recognise their own minority group way of thinking for what it is. Yet, they dictate to the masses on what sanity is. 

At this point, I again asked for evidence of my own mental difference to the majority way of thinking. 

Most of us if I asked would prefer somebody who can think straight than somebody who is identified as having cognitive bias to do the decision-making.

Am I making any sense to you?

Friday, 17 December 2021

100 Years

100 year overview

A weave of evolving themes. 

The 50s was about progress and stability after the upheaval and poverty and industry of the first and second World Wars and the Great Depression (1920-1940s). Industrial-scale mass-production of consumer-market ‘white-goods’ electronic household items. Invention of “teenage”. 

The 60s and 70s was about freedom and civil rights movements, which went through entitlement (first plastic generation) and hedonism (second plastic generation). 

Modernity and Counter-Culture characterised by Mods and Rockers (60s) and Hippies (70s). 

The 80s was a lesson in accountability by repression and discipline (first digital generation) characterised by Suits and Punks. Cyberpunk 

The 90s was breathing space as things settled out before the Millennium. Characterised by ‘Grunge-Crusty-Traveller-EcoWarriors’ and Supermarket Styles (the Muds and the Moolah’s). Emergence of internet (second digital generation). Apathy and Ecology. 

First decade of 2000s was breathing space after the Millennium and emergence of mobile phones (digital tech). Combination of distraction and communication, which is to say ‘delusion’ - the age of Maya. The Emo generation. Apathy and Ecology. Western consciousness breaking away from corporate-government-media-control through cross-community-communication. 

2010s was internet phones. Digital tech. Steampunk and LGBT+ movement. Accelerated awareness of breaking away from corporate-government-media-control through cross-community-communication. 

2020s began with Coronavirus pandemic just as 1920s was Spanish flu pandemic. Reassertion of corporate-government-media-control on global scale, New World Order regime disguised as healthcare technology through Gates Foundation Empiricism. Censorship and legal restrictions easily comparable to Fascism in Europe a century ago. 

Sunday, 5 December 2021


What It Is Like Being A Man

“I cannot protect you as affectively if you are attacking me. I can protect you better if you are working with me.”

They all want stability. 

So they attack you all of the time to test you, hoping you will prove you are stable because then they can rely on you and trust you to protect them. 

It sucks for you because everybody is attacking you all of the time, the people who are relying on you, who are responsible for, are attacking you all of the time.

This is without external influences jostling on your patch who are also attacking you all the time. 

The result is continual stress. 

And with no recognition for any of it.

Some of the people you are responsible for, you can rely on them because they work with you to make life easier for everybody. It is not disrespecting them to expect them to conform to the harmony you strive to create and sustain. 

instructing them the same principle by which we are find works in achieving harmony, stability, it is an internal process. Only through this attitude can we alleviate our stress load. Only through this attitude can we continue to function with stability. It being internal, relies on the external person. 

The most successful leader is not a leader who creates slaves he has to be responsible for but a leader who gives sustainable autonomy to everybody under his charge until they are strong enough to thrive for themselves. 

The system of respect and trade with your allies enables long-term peace between otherwise rival individuals and networks, which increase the stress for everybody involved.

This is true in friendship circles, families, businesses, organisations, nations, whenever there are people. It is a fundamental part of the nature of our species. It is how we work best. It is how we are supposed to be.

Unfortunately, demand of stress load we have to bear most of us feel we should not have to. We do what we can to reduce stress, in ourselves and in others. This requires safe outlets for stress.

For men, very often this is the gym, sports, sex. Physical activities. Which helps to balance testosterone.

“I cannot protect you as affectively if you are attacking me. I can protect you better if you are working with me.”

Tuesday, 23 November 2021


Sometimes, you’ve got to love them.

This transcript is an insight into systematic abuse, narcissism and one method to deal with it (by exposure). 

Permission granted to copy-paste and adapt this blog-post only, for your own personal necessity. 


Your behaviour of leading men on only to push him away is typified characteristic of Emotional Manipulation for the purpose of your Self Validation. 

You will next play the Poor Me angle and attempt to justify how you are not responsible for your own actions because of your traumatic past experience has resulted in your emotional insecurity. 

This stands in stark contrast to the ‘strong, confident, independent, force to be reckoned with’ you initially present yourself as. 

I expect you would leverage that to allege I have destroyed your confidence by undermining your egotism and disabling your game face. 

You are aware of the affect your behaviour has on other people because you literally apologised for “doing my head in”. 

That’s your assumption I responded a particular way to your behaviour. 

Possibly you can’t imagine anyone would respond any other way to your behaviour because that is outside your comprehension. 

I have pulled you up on all this because I will not put up with being Emotionally Manipulated, ‘strung-along’ or any other narcissistic abuse. 

Instead you will next have a go at me for analysing your confusing behaviour and pulling you up on it. 

Which I am naturally going to do simply by virtue of having my own mind and which is necessary for any further interactions, in the name of integrity, and for your own CBT. 

Would I do that if I had no interest in it at all? You won’t openly recognise this as a valid factor. 

Then you will back off entirely for a year before forgetting about this incident or hoping I have forgotten it (which I won’t). Then you will repeat exactly the same thing again. I know this because it is what you always do. That’s our cycle. 

How are you going to break it? 

I do not enjoy any of that. I am bothering to go through this with you for four good reasons. 

1 In part because I have Self Value outside of whatever your opinion. I am establishing a boundary by standing up to your ongoing behaviour toward me. 

2 In part because of ‘old times sake’ although that’s growing old now especially as you won’t ever put your money where your mouth is and act on your hollow promises to visit me while in the same breath showing off about how much money you’re wasting. 

3 In part because your having metaphorically knocked my door, you will be metaphorically fed the food I choose to give you (Truth) and not whatever food you assumed you’d be getting from my table (‘disposable attention on tap’). 

Around here we don’t chew people up and spit them out unless that’s how they’ve previously disrespected us. We do not have time for time-wasters, controlling behaviour and any other general bullshit. 

4 There is also, always the possibility you might have knocked my door because you need my help in putting you straight. 

That’s what you’re getting a heavy dose of here. That’s a favour to the wider community as much as to you personally. 

Consider yourself having Been Told. 

Friday, 5 November 2021

Keeping Real

Keeping Real

All those people can never get it to work. 

I got it to work. 

They made me feel like an outcast. 

So there I was, an outcast who could do something other people could not do, feeling bad about that. I felt bad about it for years until one day I realised; 

“My positivity is more important than their negativity.”

On that day my life changed because my attitude changed. Attitude towards myself changed. My self-talk changed. I recognised it’s irrelevant what other people think or say. They might be right, they might be wrong, but they are not who I should be listening to in either case. 

The immediate criticism was that I’d become more selfish. I closed my door to a whole bunch of people and became more of a loner than ever. I decided it was better to be a productive loner hiding in my cave than to be a miserable loner constantly distracted by trying to live up to other peoples dogmatic expectations. 

I absorbed the same attitude they were generating, I adapted to survive the social conditions. I’m not here to feed their egos. If anything they’re here to feed mine and if they can’t do that, there’s no point in them existing in my life. This is not the same thing as I had become selfish and egotistical. It was the establishing of a boundary. 

I’d finally had enough of suffering, of putting up with other people grinding me down and discouraging me from achieving anything or even believing good about myself. It applies to everybody, people of all walks of life from the beggar in the street who looks down on me because I had more wealth that day, to the teacher in school, the policeman who stop and search me because they were bored, a job interviewer who decided I was not the right person for the job because I questioned employee rights for example no plants or open windows in the office space, no fresh air there. 

I was walking the trail of most everybody I encountered was out to put me down for one reason or another and very often for reasons contradictory to those of the last person who had put me down. 

After being ground down for so long I recognise that the grindstone simply sharpens the axe. 

The purpose of all these external influences was to get me to recognise that. Almost as soon as I recognised that and got all the losers off my back, my own energy levels improved. My own sense of well-being and self-worth improved. 

The change was internal, a decision I made within myself about myself. It was a critical judgement but an important one and it undermined the programming I received from the general background culture for years. 

I accelerated. My art got better, my music improved, I was more productive than ever. I shifted up through the spheres. 

Got into a relationship, we became pregnant I’m now a dad with dad skills, a parent raising the next generation to be more successful than the previous generations. 

The main focus of which is: empowering self-belief of the individual to feel not only they deserve to be here and belong on the planet at this time, but thank God they are here because it would be worse if they weren’t. 

The individual has the power to turn the tide of the masses on that one to one basis. Otherwise without that individual, the zombie masses are herded over a cliff to their doom. The individual alone can change their own direction only by leaving the masses behind and doing their own thing. And that is how it is supposed to be. 

The criticisms which I had put up with for so long which had undermined my sense of self-worth, that looking after myself properly was selfishness and I should be ashamed for doing it, that taking pride of my accomplishments was egotistical and I should actually feel guilty about doing something other people could not do. 

I emerged from a fertile cultural compost of vitamin enriched shit which has made me stronger and more powerful, a crushing process has distilled and purified my attitude in the value and worth of the individual, pitted against the misery of a repressive collective. A vastly accepted delusion which is the operating system in the minds of the majority of regurgitative zombies we encounter. 

As was proved and widely endorsed throughout the region of Europe during the Nuremberg trials, it is the individuals duty to question authority of others, to avoid inhumane and tragic outcomes. 

My message is quite simple. You can recognise it by now for what it is. You do it your way if you want to achieve. If you don’t know what is your way, study by following your intuition instead of bad advice from derogatory and controlling narcissists who outnumber us 10 to 1. 

There is however, that rare individual or two who will authentically support you and give you good advice. Analyse, use your intuition, figure out who is the good, who is the bad. Who is the fake and who is a real person.

This is not my story. 

This is the conclusion to my story. 

This is my life wisdom distilled down into a single, simple message. The important insight to which the purpose of my life. The import, the thing I wish to convey to everybody of all generations is also simultaneously a statement about the civilisation and culture, the social environment of the world I have lived in. 

The quest for relevance.

Wednesday, 27 October 2021


A standard psychology model underlaying the Human Value System. 

We gain self-esteem by achieving challenges. Others recognise this. 

We evaluate based on recognition of this and we apply value to those who achieve challenges. Living up to our responsibilities being the biggest of these criteria. 

1 Undermining other peoples ability to achieve their responsibilities and challenges, and 

2 Not recognising where they do are the two major approaches of socially dysfunctional, sociopathic saboteurs (for example the umbrella of narcissism and its related branches of personality disorders) to undermine others well-being. Usually by people serving social control agendas (agents) and very often that agenda is simply selfishness vs community awareness (empathy). 

The training to identify hallmark characteristics of these behavioural patterns is largely through experience of dealing with them. The textbook can only offer patterns of projections which result in misleading diagnosis because of inexperience with the subtle nuances involved. 

For example, specific symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome (NAS)  are textbook identical to broad-based symptoms of narcissism. Both cases gain Attention=Energy by creating stress in others either by harbouring or manufacturing stress. 

This is why it’s such a problem dealing with the pandemic of narcissism affecting our communities. 

After a lot of review and with mind to remain positive and progressive it was determined the only way out of the paradigm is CBT to completely replace the paradigm with a simpler more wholesome one, than to become entangled with case specific minutia and negativity. 

The new paradigm is characterised by empowerment slogans. 

Conscious evolution. 

Power of positive thinking. 

Do not feed the Black Hole. 

Every moment we have the power to redirect the flow of energy flowing though us, away from a negative manifestation and instead empowering toward a positive and stable manifestation. By letting go and emptying the mind and whole being. 

Friday, 15 October 2021

Mags Rags

Margaret’s Blankets 

I purchased these for £10 each from charity shop sometime after she died. 

Only after I got home and opened the bags, I recognised the smell. Its exactly the same smell as inside her house was when I’d visit her to do odd jobs now and then. 

I washed Margaret’s stinky duvets five times including with dishwasher cleaner solution at 60 degrees (it’s polyester recommended wash at 40 degrees) and aired it for nearly a week. 

It still stinks of the black spirit it contains. I’ve been talking with that entity and with Margaret. Not sure if it’s two aspects of her or if it’s two separate spirits which combined and for much of her life until her death they were symbiotic. 

I don’t want the thing in me!!! 

It’s already tried. One night after one wash I had the least smelly blanket on me and woke up from a nightmare in which a black sleechy spirit was attempting enter me at cellular level. I pushed it out and discovered within me I do have the power to push it out! 

Self-belief and willpower got stronger. Another lesson from the spirit world in the purpose of willpower and confidence in self-belief which strengthens will power. The act of pulling oneself together into harmony makes you stronger. A lot of people don’t like to do that because it reveals self-limitations.

As soon as I push the entity off me, I woke up from the lucid dream and realised immediately it was the blanket, so I threw that out of the room and slept the rest of the night through. The next day I went out and bought £20 of washing detergents. 

The blankets are nice but we can’t burn plastic polyester because pollution so they’re going in the land refill. Such a shame.

The lesson is been good, it’s all about attachments. Attachments and letting go. 

Otherwise it will attach itself to you & guide you to negativity. Good your aware & recornise it!” Said my spiritual friend when I relayed the story and it’s lesson. 

I can see that clinginess is part of its nature. Part of Margarets teaching is, well it’s quite obvious I have some sort of attachment disorder from the amount of trash I fill my House up with. Developing the reflex to let go, for me is progressive development. These blankets now contain that, which is their purpose in my life.

The symbols on those blankets, colours and shapes. Although the translations on the following sheet are not ‘perfect’ in the original intended tense, the general theme is there. Remember about Egyptian Heiroglyphic it is a poetic language so the flexibility was intentional. 

Example ‘mouth’ means both ‘speech’ and ‘to eat’ as well as the physical and other associated actions. It relates both to the mouth in your head and to female genitalia. Highlighting this symbol is the developed form of the mouth symbol for ‘eye’ and ‘emanations from eye’. 

Those blankets have lots of little mouths. They’re communicative but also they eat little bits of energy. And they do feed, I’ve laid under one and it near drained me to the depth of mortal fear necessary to test and strengthen my self-esteem. It was hungry to be eating so much at once! It’s a creature. The square symbols all relate to World, House, Earth, Body. It’s a grid. Then there’s the colour symbolism… 

Compare other contemporary uses of the same symbols and associated concepts: 

Monday, 4 October 2021

Echelon (Era & Echo)

Echelon (era and echo)

The purpose of the occult group was to continue the spiritual traditions secretly after the persecution, a particular and specific task assigned to that group after the priesthood was dissolved. 

To monitor the transmigration of the soul. 

To what purpose? 

To learn what we are and what life is.

The method is to identify the vessel into which a known soul is to be reincarnated, to nurture that child until such time as signs of self-awareness from the souls past life can be identified, especially as education and training to wake up past life memories, to integrate.

Egyptology is full of this. Ba, Ka, Ru-spirit, aspects of Self. To understand that better in a pure context we must explore Buddhism.

The question is:

Are we simply preparing a vessel for another soul to occupy it, or has that other soul organically and naturally come into that vessel? Is it possible that the vessel could have two souls both its own original one and the one that’s reincarnated into it? 

Do these two selves compete or combine within an individual to become a whole individual? 

Or is it more simply that, the individual is an animal until the soul awakens?

Following from which, once these questions have been answered, should the tradition be continued as it is simply because that is sufficient to maintain the tradition and the human awareness of what we are, or does it need to adapt to beyond that?

Different branches within the underground priesthood emerged. Some believe that specialist schools to answer each specific question which came up was necessary and those became the foundation of entire cultures supported by farmers to great food, trade, rulers over the domain while the spiritual was explored in the temple complex by those initiated into the mysteries who could see further than the simple power base of a ministry.

Those who deal with the dead, spiritists, are regarded by the non-initiated, “spiritually dead” to be necromancers by those who deal with ‘the light’, an aspiration towards spirituality and by those who deal with the practicality of governing mortal affairs. 

Therefore the highest are discredited by the middle grounds as being the lowest, which is problematic. The uppermiddle of officialdom regarded as being the highest, which is problematic.