Thursday, 7 March 2013

hard boiled

I don’t even like egg but since she’s been on my case I am physically craving the protein.

She tells me I am wrong for doing it my way, tried and trusted for twenty years.

So I watch and see what happens as she shows me the superior technique.

First, you fill the pan with more water so it takes longer to cook, uses more natural resources, so that “the egg cooks properly all the way through”. I find this amusing given that the egg rolls when you use less water due to the bubbles forming either side of it. Can you tell I am from a desert culture?

Then she adds a splash of vinegar to the water so that if the egg should crack, it will seal itself before any white leaks out into the water. Vinegar has literally hundreds of uses, I tell her about when I was a kid I would soak a boiled egg in vinegar so the shell goes soft, then push it into a bottle with a neck narrower than the egg, so it hardens again inside like a ship in the bottle. My mam used to tell me off for doing that so I gave up on it. I ask her how much the vinegar cost.

Then I thank her for explaining the difference between a poached egg and a poached egg in a cup, because of all the methods of cooking eggs I have encountered nobody ever told me what its called when you crack an egg directly into boiling water, probably because nobody I ever knew cooks eggs that way. It turns out this this is a poached egg and what I thought was called a poached egg is actually called a poached egg in a cup, which really should be called a steamed egg in a cup since it’s a different technique to boiling without a shell.


  1. Omg I cant believe how patronizing I was about the egg. I am far too set the ways that have been forced upon me. Scary.
    I always get fascinated when people say how I they way I say and do things come across I am so set on auto pilot the majority of the time I do not notice.

    1. No offense intended, apparently I have a cracked, black & satirical humour necessary for surviving this life, and as they say you cant make an omlette without breaking a few eggs.
      Also since you are such an eggspurt on the topic, I am hoping that you can explain to me how the suffix -lette, it seemingly being of French origin, comes to relate the chant of galactic harmonic that is also symbolised since prehistory as 'source', "Ohm"; with l'oeuf/ouef

      [goddammit excuse me one moment while I check google translate...]


    It is interesting what you are saying about being on autopilot most of the time.