the halloween full moon has been a learning curve. Mostly regarding spirit interaction with karma. I love tribal drums, today there was a point where the balance was just so that the gate opened and all the incidental players mostly kids just caught the rhythm, channelling it through, at exactly that moment the drum boss eyes caught mine and shone, I had to pull my gaze away it was so intense! But we knew it then, he's a rhythm teacher and through rhythm is summoning, and ancestors speak. The whole day has been like that one way or another.
its hard work being an open channel especially when they are doing a teaching. feels like my head gripped in a vice forcing me to be a particular place and time. beatmatching me to a specific grid. the way they work is twofold and often contradictory: shut off emotions using rationality to show me from a specific pov so i take the lesson, or exagurating the emotions whatever it is, usually an overwhelming feeling to 'go! now!'; to 'encourage' me to be at a certain place and time. and very seldom am i there for the reason i thought i would be there. i become an observer, then assimilate the data from the experience, then understand it. for the spirits to grip me this way it removes a lot of normal day to day functions of the mind. it is like they shut off some synapses and open others. so i am inable to communicate or remember but i can observe and balance between the two planes, to follow why the are showing me this stuff.
oh yeah and i smoked pure tobaco last night which has definately had an effect because its a spirit substance. im getting better at it with more and more experience and its all making more sense now than it used to. to get to this stage, i have been through everything. never did h, never been to jail, never blown a guy, never been bankrupt, not in this life time at least; man i've been through just about pretty much every other thing else though. the problem is when two sets of spirits are arguing over which one uses me as a vessel at that time and im torn between two directions, i think they do this to force me to sit still do nothing which is usually the result.
what i have learned is that with no ego, we are totally serving the games of spirits. there is no free will without dealing in karma cycles. theyre showing me all this stuff for a reason. but there is soul, the observer, the self. it is not thought. thought is consequence of having a brain which is like a glove full of confusion for spirits to activate their results. as individuals even when we are lucid aware we cant see the whole of it. we are never alone. we should take solace in this. i crave that loneliness and laugh-out-loud im really lonely with only spirits and a baby for company for the ten years since i took the spiritualists coin and the ten years on top of that since i made a pact to put awareness first.
there are 3 parts to this path: Truth, Purity and finally from it comes an ability to Love, unconditionally. divert from truth and your eyes are closed from truth. and i tell you this now: never once at all ever have i spoken with any spirit of any type who can tell me there is without doubt such a thing as god. most of them scorn it and a few say its a belief that sets a path but its unecessary. faced between god and Truth i chose Truth. and thats how it is.
it means i have to do the Right thing instead of acting on desire. my body craves pleasure and my ego needs recognition and company but f that shit, it gets in the way. the only reason i have a kid is because the spirits told me 5 years ago that i am to live as if there is no transmigration because the world needs my legacy, they were talking about dna and maybe also some teachings. i'd have more kids tonight if i could with the right woman. im lucky to have this one half the time after the court gave us 50/50 residency. i mentioned i've been through everything: the powerful effective techniques that work are those taught by mystery schools and are not public knowledge. if i start talking about magickal ritual they'll put me back on mental health counselling again for 'hearing voices' etc.
the only way for us to end the persecution of spiritualism is to come out in the open about it. what better time than full moon halloween 2012 end of the mayan calendar? also HAVE AN AMAZING 5 DAYS OUT OF TIME! wecome to Year ZERO