“There are three evolutionary stages. The consensus, the individuated, and the spiritual.” Tom Lescher / Kaypacha (3.1.19)
There’s one way of thinking that emotionally unavailable partners are abusive, and another way of thinking that emotionally reactive partners are abusive.
Both of these are described unprofessionally as symptoms of narcissism. Yet they are polar opposites.
At this stage, a sane person questions the system of analysis, the way of thinking we are using to orient us in relating with these people.
Regardless of how they are behaving, the way we ourselves are behaving by judging them one way or another, is inefficient. Were it efficient, it would not fall into two polarized camps to create the same conclusion.
Recognition immediately that we are being socially engineered, because no matter which camp we fall into, the outcome is the same, the result is the same.
We are coerced to judge the ones behaving differently from us to be psychotic, and that is how we relate to them forever after.
The purpose of that social engineering is to encourage people not to have human relationships, but to believe each other to be psychotic, to avoid, fear and hate each other.
Nothing can be resolved in that environment. But everything can be exploited! Which of course is the purpose of the social-engineers. Segregation through cultural programming is a tool used in population management.