Origin

A T-Rex came fast through the forest and ate me. 

I did not feel pain of tooth and claw, of being eaten alive, until it was too late. 

I was too absorbed in what I was doing, too busy eating delicious leafs from the ginko tree to listen to the voices I could hear, to listen to my brother and parents screaming with panic, screaming to alert me to the danger. I had detached from the happy family herd heart to go greedily for that delicious mouth full of food I so needed to be complete. Animal drives consumed me. 

The pain woke me up tremendously. 

I remember the gratitude and self-satisfied glee of my brother feeling himself superior because he had purposefully led me against my intuition to position me between himself and the dangerous rocks around which the T-Rex was seen earlier. 

I remember sadness of my parents, the detachment of the fathers heart while a shared mental awareness continued, to have faith and trust in the manifestation of life regardless of whatever occurred. I was in awe of his slow but lucid mind increasingly aware of a higher thing occurring, affecting our experience, than we had any ability to communicate about. I understood how he hoped I would not let go of that same trust because the horror of being so brutally killed and eaten. 

Shutting off the mental-emotional connection from my father was followed by the detachment of my mother as my parents protected themselves from being hurt as bad as they had been the first time. I did not know if that meant an elder sibling I never knew, or the last time we went around in this cycle repeating almost exactly the same experience. 

“Another one gone.” 

Nobody protected me because nobody could. The T-rex was too ferocious and frightening. 

The Watchers spoke directly to me about how even the monster serves its purpose. The brutality will eventually end. Only if we awaken, which has to happen individually. It is through the pain we begin to attain consciousness. I realise the Watchers voices had been talking constantly but I had been ignoring them all along because I had not developed any awareness to listen to them clearly, to hear the message of what they were saying while simultaneously frolicking about my activities. My mind was too fuzzy, not sharp. The pain made it sharp. 

The spirit voices, the Watchers, were talking about how ‘we’ are trying to get the dinosaur consciousnesses to evolve. It is not only the physical but the mental-emotional also. That comes later. By ‘we’ they meant themselves, they meant all of us myself included. 

Then I was being born again into another body. There was love again, almost immediately. I had no concept of passage of time. The new bodies were descendants of the first family, of those who had survived. We were smaller and faster. We had adapted to survive against the T-Rex. We hunted its eggs, eating it into extinction just as it had eaten the quadrupedal herbivores into extinction. 

The Watchers voices were less clear now because we were sharpening our own focus to grow away from the need for them to become so directly involved in guiding us. Taking responsibility for ourselves, individually, collectively, connected through feeling shared emotions and by shared thoughts with each other enough to strategise about how to survive best, how to change the world to suit us. This connectedness told us what we had to do. 

These are my earliest memories. Before that are vague feelings from being a fish with no real sense of self-awareness. 

From revelation across these many evolutions do I know what I do in this life will effect the outcome of what I become in the next life.