Sunday, 13 March 2016

Expansive Red

Expansive Red

Am I waking up or dumbing down? I read my old blogs and they are more intellectual than I ever feel capable of. When I write, I write in the flow of now. At this time full of wine for a rare change i am distracted, my arms do not wish to push the limits, I listen to blue tech and work on prose which will not come; forcefully I sink into desire to do something with my time, a mire of mastery, words as poetry for the sake of. I eel the sublime sexuality and sensual nature of doing what I do for the sake of doing it, studying thoth while writing the wrong things. This is writing both of the higher plane which takes control of me as an agent of the divine but writing of a man on wine. Sometimes fighting the divine to create my own distinctive personality, I will use the word I for selfish purpose because usually i am a clair-audient channel for higher dimensional spirits or simply ghosts.

Tonight I flow with the hedonism of youth, the confusion of inexperience and i writ efor the pure blissful entertaining purpose of sinking into habitual nature instead of doing a higher thing. My arms and fingers do not want to flow this way against the keyboard, to do so is to enter and strengthen their grip into a satanic universe.

I see picture of cities of theist, blown up by war and I see rebuilding with future technologies, 3D printers making dream citadels, towed from the thousand nights and one, assyrian babylonian dream vision of ancient ancestors, flowing through me, the avant grade are the - we are called deluded by the gird minds of the british estate, the nation empowered by perpetual war and yet we seek freedom, the music is flow, the bliss and contentment, this wine is sublime from europe and reduced discount or else i would not have been tempted, it is worth every euro and it flows, it flows stronger than the grid, is a liberation and becomes a culture, i taste it like grapes, raisins, the wine taste sod raisin and is raising my spirits, i find my flow and am lucky, lucky to sit night after night with no social life, lucky to recall memories of teenage youth in chepstow before the empty warehouse was knocked down to build a supermarket, a place where friends and i discovered wed and teenage lusts ignored because the alcohol we had drunk was too strong and to much, a combination of factors, teen lust sacrificed and set aside by alcohol and smoke, i dedicated all the rest of my teenage years and twenties to cannabis and after which i got straight, gave up everything and became straight, passed a drug test.

Tonight back on wine I am finding who I used to be, the freedom of my own particular uniqueness and this tract, this text, this writing is the first time side I got the internet the only time, where I am free and woozy enough to see for value what the life i lived is all about, to rest and relax and ignore detach from the stresses of before, the creamy chateau du bordeuax, liberated. I am healing and depute juggling the shadow side for the first time in ten long hard years of struggle, against the poses of no, tonight i feel worthy.

Tonight after half a bottle of expensive but reduced in sale discount wine, I feel worthy, I have found my woozy level and nothing I wrote is worth writing but to me is worth everything. I see it for what it is now; luxury and distraction. The whole internet is luxury and distraction. Education is luxury and distraction. Self is the only thing apart form the work that we do either to make dollar or distraction.

Liberating, I see how much I need to share a bottle of expensive grade liberation with whatever woman I dare to take to bed, to sacrifice time. I am become a god again by dyonisis revelry simply because this is what it has taken for the stress to go, far too many years of constant stress taking me away from having a pure heart. I have a warm and pure heart now and this is the first time for a long time. Introduced to wine as a child, I can see why genetically, emotionally, psychologically it became a part of me. By wine did I live the happiest days and nights of my life. Twenty years of sobriety were a criminal waste and loss.

Tonight I find my confidence again and only having drank too much am bold enough to state it. This is my worth to the human race, and by stepping out of the controlled regime of routine attempts to improve and behave, I finally see things for whatever they were’ the chaos of before with other peoples dogma trying to rule me so everyone could find a level. Fuck that shit. Fuck that shit. I seriously really mean it, fuck that shit.

Escapism and shifting the perception over to a different grid on a semi-regular basis is the only way to survive and thrive. Our monkey hominid ancestors used to chew up and spit out leaves to make  brew, for the community to be free and now refined on technologies form medieval techniques, this expensive wine has done me good, I can see it now and all I have to do is write these words to remind anyone who happens upon them, the very core truth of how important it is not to maintain a rigid mind but to be flexible in your thinking, to connect with your soul and heart, to be forgiving and to accept us for what we are, the dirty baseline and not much else.

When the time comes we can pull ourselves together to be high as light but meanwhile the flow is the light and the flow i that we are permitted and allowed to be humans, we do not have to aspire to attain to be angelic, thats just control game punishment bullshit which destroys our souls and , denies us the human experience. 

may i be forgiven for spelling his name wrong, no sources agree on it anyway

No comments:

Post a Comment