Saturday, 7 November 2020

c2020 ordo octopia

 “I love you.”

“That’s creepy. You hardly know me.” 

“I don’t need to know you inside out and upside down to know how it feels to feel how I feel about you.” 

“What you have isn’t love it’s infatuation which means you’re obsessed which means you’re dangerous.” 

“I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing here. What do you mean by that word?” 

“Well, I don’t know, what do you mean by that word?” 

“You don’t know what love means? And yet you shun me for mentioning it?” 

“I... you confused me now.”

“How can someone confuse you by having an emotion?”

“Because of what it means!”

“What do you think it means?”

“It means you’d die for someone and I don’t know if I feel that way about you.”

“I love my dog but I wouldn’t die for him. I love my game console but I wouldn’t die for it. I love the taste of strawberry but I wouldn’t die for that either. These are things which cause me to feel contentment. The world is a better place because of them.” 

“Oh. Why didn’t you say that?”

“You have a very morbid understanding of what love is.”

“You took me by surprise with it. It’s not the sort of thing you say to a girl on a first date. It undermines its value.”

“I hold you with that value, what’s wrong with that? I know my own emotions. Geez lighten up.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“What, for reacting like you did? You don’t get to tell me how I feel. It doesn’t work that way.” 

“I’m sorry I thought you expected me to say ‘I love you too’ so we could have a happy perfect moment together except I don’t know if I feel that way about you. I’m sorry I ruined your delusion.”

“The L word is not a trap. It’s not a social response like saying please and thank you.”

“I know that.”

“It’s an expression of how a person feels about someone or something. I don’t expect you to feel the same way and that doesn’t matter. It’s not why I said it, I was not attempting to manipulate you. Is that what you think love is, a manipulation?” 


“I’m sorry too I’m sorry I said it. I still have love for you even though you’re being awkward about accepting that someone out there likes you.”

“Likes me or loves me?”

“Well, both.”

“You made me feel awkward. If you loved me you wouldn’t have done that.”

“You made me feel love for you. If you were not lovable you wouldn’t have done that.”

“Damn you.”

“You compared me with your game console.”

“And my dog.”

“I’m not sure which is worse.”

“And strawberry.”

“That I can handle.”

“You have a real paranoid attitude about love, do you know that? You should work on it.” 

“I have a normal attitude about it!”

“Sure, looks like it.”

“What’s that meant to mean?”

“I have a normal attitude about knowing my own emotions. How is that a bad thing?”

“It’s a strong word.”

“Only if you mean it that way. I didn’t say I love you strongly.”

“You love me a little bit?”

“Mildly. I mildly love you. It was more but you’ve put me off you now. By twenty percent.”

“You eighty percent love me?”

“Well maybe ninety percent, since you smell of strawberry.”

“You smell of dog.”

“My dog loves you too.”

“I can handle that. He’s allowed to.”

“Ye eighty five percent.”

“The L word is special and it’s reserved for special occasions.” 

“Ye next time I’ll just say you cause me contentment and see how happy you are with that.” 

“That somehow seems less acceptable now.”

“The lesser of two evils.”

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