Involved with attachment theory is self valuation versus seeking valuation from others.
If you seek your own valuation from others, they will exploit you. Indeed, many game strategies employed by shades of grey narcissists, depend on you seeking your validation from them.
It is this, and not codependency, which is resulted in people resenting codependents.
To disempower a narcissist, stop seeking valuation from them. It is that simple. Indeed, stop seeking valuation from anybody else ever.
The shortcut to attain that in a stability is the following truth:
You are on this planet.
Everything else is games.
The game of going to a river to drink or holding your head up to drink rainwater from the sky. The game of hunting for food and gathering berries.
These are simple and pure games as is the game of planting seeds to eat the vegetables when they grow later in the year.
Much beyond that involves relying on other people to some extent and this is why game strategy becomes important as an awareness.
We developed the trade tool of money to alleviate manipulation and exploitation because everybody agrees the value of a coin is what it says on a coin.
People will disagree about absolutely everything else.
Including for example how many of those coins you need to purchase this food. It is all about value and value systems. We project onto the external world value systems relative to our needs.
There is a big difference between our Needs and our Wants. We can live without our Wants; we cannot live without our Needs. If it is a want, you don’t need it. Focus on what do you need.