Saturday, 4 February 2017

Observing Without Judgement

“What Ego is. Ego is being controlled by the grid of a subconscious force based on its own survival. It is a thing within us which serves itself and not our own higher nature. The ego denies it exists which is how it tricks us and also is why no egoist admits to being controlled by it. Use of the term ‘ego’ here is non-Freud/Jungian but rather is in the modern common mis-use of the term.”
- snakeappletree

Their talking loud enough for me to hear about how low my vibrations are is not being spiritual, it is being abusive and proving that their own vibrations are not as high as they want them to be. It is a superiority game which i want no part in. I used to put people on a pedestal assuming their proclamation of being energetically superior was a real thing until I saw it for what it is and caught them in a logic trap. I am grateful not to have been caught up with people like that who removed themselves from my attention under the delusion of their being higher spiritual beings - which depressed me and played on my insecurities.

Had I known this twenty years ago I would have been happier. It happened often, every time I went to a tribal gathering where spiritual aware people, so-called hippies, would attend. So often that i began to question not only that spiritual people do not actually attend these gatherings at all so why was I there myself, and also the form of spirituality was an experience where i repeatedly faced the same personal demon through repeats of the same experience. It was not always the same individuals however it was the same words and situation which I was faced with, to such extent that it was like watching the same movie clip, glitch in the matrix, became predictable. It took me decades to figure it out.

In the meantime when I sounded crazy by attempting to explain to people a theory that we project our insecurities as (part of our) emanation grids, which affect other people, when we are energetically empowered sufficient to do so - but also that the other people as a part of natural balancing bring us down to bring themselves up. That this is a part of natural energetic cycle witnessed through the perception of cognition.

I am not speaking from ego, although these lessons in my dissolving of my ego are in retrospect useful despite being painful. Were I more confident I could have pulled the girls who derided me and had a more sexual life than I did. People ridiculed any scrap of confidence I could muster by calling it arrogance, and they called my wary nature that of a depressive. i am not a depressive, i was not depressed until I began believing their projections instead of my intuition. A deeper intuition that they had mistaken me for purpose of feeling empowered above me.

And so most of my experiences around camp fires with like-minded, who turned out not to be like-minded at all, types of people - described by the straights as the fucking hippies - at least the fucking hippies sat around camp fires instead of resenting everyone and themselves or simply being too soul dead to contemplate why people gathered at such events.

It was like watching the same movie play out before me repeatedly. I questioned whether i was cursed and bad spirits followed me around, taking possession of people to make them speak the same words. Questioning them about it led to their confusion and paranoia, which a self protection mechanism rebuffed by telling me that I was paranoid. No, I literally went to a dozen other events similar to this one where people said exactly the same words. It is some sort of going through the layers, piercing the veils, ritual ceremonies where the players do not even realize they are speaking the cosmic script.

It was not only the insult to my confidence which was the shaping of a grid, there were so many different similar scenarios, it was initiatory. Eventually i had figured out sufficient of these initiatory sessions to no longer need to go to those gatherings. The hippies all said that i had gone straight or that I had gone mad, none of them accepted what I am describing here might possibly be a real thing because it requires a lack of ego to be able to accept that I might be onto something. Rejecting the information I am bringing to you is a foolish thing to do, in my wise and experienced understanding. You will get there eventually to accept what I am attempting to describe is how mythopoesis works, modern mythology.

May your passing through be of more enjoyment than was my own.
Be aware it may be that deeper insight is necessarily as painful. 

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