Friday 18 July 2014


John Glover as Gustav

 Here's another one from or for the cryptic crypt.


You will want to be listening to this music video while reading this blog. 

Tonight (Saturn 19.7.14) I am bored, lonely, and watching a movie. I have always loved the Metallica track Sanitarium, and so a movie of the same name was something that caught my attention. I usually prefer sci-fi but needed a change of mind. This movie is three short films. The first one by Bryan Ortiz has stopped me dead in my tracks. 

The main character's boots, clothes, hair (recently dredlocked) - his style. My style.
The guy makes puppets. I was making puppets at the same time.
The way he has his keys on a long chain. Same as I did at the time, for use as a self defense and to stop them rattling in my pocket.
The names of characters and actors/actresses in this movie is identical to the names of real people who were in my life at the time. 
The set I was building for my puppets, eg; a metal industrial tube overhead, features in this movie also. 

SnakeAppleTree 2007
All I can do is to illustrate this story is to show you some still shots from the movie and some photo's of my life circa 2006-2009 for comparison. I knew that I was being gang stalked at that time. This movie checks out on too many levels. People were breaking into my flat on a regular basis. I was certain that my food or water was being dosed with some type of amphetamine or psychedelic drug; I could not sleep. I found short wiry white dog hairs hairs on the carpet - I never owned a dog but my neighbor had a jack russell.

My possessions were moving about of their own accord or simply disappearing. I decided to take a break from researching ESP and telepathy using sound wave frequencies to channel ghosts, and to make a short film using puppets and video as it was faster than stop-frame animation.

Unfortunately due to circumstances, only some test footage and experiments, cheap camera tricks to make the puppets eyes appear to move independently of their faces even though they were simply painted on - which worked all too well - was ever filmed. What is left of the storyboards and notes are fading, most were stolen. My life changed and the project was dropped, it was getting too creepy. Much too creepy because it was spilling out into real life and other people were starting to notice that about it.

Gustav's dolls, Sanitarium, 2013

My puppets, not only myself but my friend Vine who came into my life the same moon as I was misdiagnosed with Schizophrenia (what I actually have is called Avoidant Personality Disorder) and left my life the same moon as I was released from counseling on the basis that a team of psychiatric professionals decided that I do not need counseling; we both kept on bumping into people who looked like the puppets. I had not based any of them on real people, but somehow they drew us onto a path to encounter their human likenesses. 

I called them voodoo dolls from the start. They certainly are invested with this potent power of creativity, they have souls of their own so to speak, and with deification by encouraging their personalities, writing about them, thinking about them, for the purpose of making the movie they had been built for. They are more than mere objects. Making dolls is not like making other forms of art. It does cross boundaries involving psychology and what to the uninitiated might be considered as madness. It has its own internal logic structure though as certain and real as the various paradigms people are more commonly likely to encounter. I was researching; vodou, african fetish idols, wiccan poppet dolls. 

Funny, because my four year old son has been getting into Batman Arkham Asylum computer game that his mothers latest boyfriend got for him recently. Batman, from child-safe 60s cartoon version to the continual remakes with increasingly dark and adult tone, the Batman concept is a cultural icon now deeply embedded into our cultural psyche.

vincent van gogh's boots
With all of that pressure on me, and experimenting with the otherworlds, other versions of reality, warping the edges, bending the physics. I was laughing out loud. I understood and did not judge, where others did not understand and they judged. I was talking out loud in response to what the spirits were saying. The dolls attracted a lot of attention from the spirit plane. It is part of my education as a spirit medium. One of the spirits even told me at that they would make a film of what I was going through; watching it would be a level-up experience for me. It all makes a lot more sense in retrospect than it did at the time.

my boots
What the guy is like in this film, without the murderous streak obviously; his behavior otherwise, it is character modeled on what I was like at the time. Almost as if someone had put hidden camera's in my flat after all, just like I said they were doing. Remote Viewing is something to look into. 

It is time to take a big sigh and take stock of my life and assimilate that there is a movie apparently heavily inspired by my life of the last decade, far too deeply and on too many levels to be mere coincidence. The movie was released in 2013.

I am writing this blog in realtime as I watch the movie.

The second of the three short films is directed by Bryan Ramirez.

Researcher: "Do you have any good cases? I need something for a paper I'm working on." So the security guard writes a patient number on a post-it note (the same sort of post-it note that half of my movie script was written on). My flat where I was living at the time, where the puppets were born, was number 26. There is a line in the movie "do you have the home address..." which emphasizes the point. Last week I phoned up the psychiatric team who reviewed me, the team who told me that I do not need counseling. I asked for a copy of my case files. This is all very interestingly timed.

SnakeAppleTree, 2007