Monday 30 January 2017


Palace of a Thousand Doors

" ... entered the Palace of a Thousand Doors. 
In each room is a choice of two doors,
each bearing a similar and related symbol." (sic) 
 The Never Ending Story

 This blog is a collection of inspiring architecture,
a reference for my digital 3D architecture
It is all very Arabian Nights.

 see also (related blogs:)


2. "Solar Earth"
(sunset and dawn) 

Sun-bleached bones and the yellow-brown of aging.

The dawn against the umbral night.

burnt sienna, umber, ochre : oxidized pigments

turmeric, paprika, cinnamon, nutmeg : spices

Kaolin colours, colours of flesh 

amber, honey, glowing hearth

see also (related blogs):


Texture and Colour series

working with limited palette 

The ideal proportions for limited palette are (approximately): 10% 30% 60%

These are a resource for my 3D architectural work and will be referred to from appropriate blogs. 

Wednesday 25 January 2017


Feminism as a movement was usurped and used as a tool of social destruction. It has been used to disempower both genders. “Divided and conquered” for the exploitation of community, by strategic corporate social control.
What Feminism should be about:

Physical and Social issues for those with female bodies.

This extends to include "maiden mother crone"
and therefore Parenting from the Mothers perspective.

That's it.

Anything which is outside of that is not Feminism. 

Example: homosexual men who modify their male body to convert it into a female body because they consider themselves to have been born into the wrong gendered body, is transexualism, is a different issue to Feminism, is NOT Feminism.

Anybody involving themselves in gender warfare, is NOT Feminism.

Anybody who authentically discussing Equal Rights must begin with replacing gender-specific words with the words 'person' and 'people'. This is called Humanism. Humanism is genderless although it embraces both Feminism and Masculism equally.
Development and usurption of the Feminist Movement and it’s chief concerns:
first wave feminism 
"both genders have equal rights"
(equity and equality / heterosexuality)

second wave feminism 
"women can do whatever men can do"
(gender rivalry / lesbianism)

third wave feminism 
"women are superior to men"
(female supremacy / lesbianism)

fourth wave feminism 
"women are spiritual beings"
(bisexual promiscuity)

fifth wave feminism
"the rational individual should not be restrained"
(self responsibility)

This trend will continue to be confused until modern, post-modern and post-post-modern forms of Feminism is replaced by Humanism. Because: 

Men are spiritual beings too. Dogs are spiritual beings too. Tree’s are spiritual beings too. Water and Air are a spiritual being too. Queefing I am not so sure about, possibly it’s case specific.

The point is that women are not exclusively spiritual beings. Neither are women by default spiritual beings simply for having been born into a female body. If she is not actively being spiritual, she is not spiritual. Feminism should include the types of spiritual being which women are and nothing else is. Feminism should not reject anything non-female as non-spiritual (as has happened with second, third and fourth wave feminism).

When women did not have a right to vote, it was not the fault of Men. It was the fault of corporate system owned by usury banking cartel. It was not the fault of Patriarchy whatever that is, it was the fault of usury controlled, tier governed society. Capitalist-Masons. The same group whose media wing uses divide-and-conquer strategies brainwashing generations into hating the complimentary gender. While people and community evolves far beyond that, it is shackled to an inherited system designed around exploitation as a form of governance.


Days after posting this it was brought to my attention that although cultural historians are only now recognizing the emergence of 4th wave feminism, there is also already a movement describing itself as the 5th wave.

5th wave feminism:
Rejects 3rd ad 4th wave feminism. Rejects irrationality. Opposes control of the individual. Promotes equality of gender opportunity. Accepts Facts. Libertarian.

Monday 23 January 2017

4 Types

 The 4 Types of People

Avoiding the complexities and refinements of MBTI, in basic terms there are 4 types of people:

1 Those who get to know you. Good or bad, these are Genuine.
2 Those who lie about you (Strawman Creators). These are Abusers.
3 Those who believe the lies (Strawman Zombies). These are Egotists.
4 Indifferent. Simply couldn't care if you exist one way or another.

Types 2 and 3 cross over a lot. They are people trapped in 'mind' and are more judgemental (for example, by reputation instead of personally) and are limited in their abilities to be holistic assimilators (they assess conditionally within limited criteria, reliant on assumption and mis-information).

Type 1 is beyond 'mind' and generally functions from higher perception (intuition). They are less judgemental and more empathic in their way of being.

This has nothing to do with who you are 'friends' with, however you criteria that.

At least this is how I have come to regard people after all the shit they have put me through (slander campaigns, envy>malice, etc) and the few occasions where a handful of them have helped vastly.

Types 2 and 3:
Classical, clinical description of "delusional":

having false or unrealistic beliefs or opinions:
Psychiatry. maintaining fixed false beliefs even when confronted with facts, usually as a result of mental illness:

"Who is the bigger fool? The fool, or the fool who follows?"
-Obi Wan Kenobi

Somebody posted into FB today the question:

"Are we living in a Dystopia?”

I opine that we are, in social terms, based on that a minority of people are sane, while a majority of people are delusional, and that the delusional people persecute the sane people, describing that their 'difference from normal' is spurious on the basis that it is 'different from normal' - which itself is the example proving they are using delusional thinking strategies for their judgement criteria.

"Circular reasoning (Latin: circulus in probando, "circle in proving"; also known as circular logic) is a logical fallacy in which the reasoner begins with what they are trying to end with. The components of a circular argument are often logically valid because if the premises are true, the conclusion must be true."

Sunday 22 January 2017

City Games

The big question is: Are the buildings going to be interactive? Will we be able to walk in off the street and explore them, working elevators and all? Or are they merely background blocks for a street centered game? There are two ways to make them enterable. First is to have them actually entrable, as in SecondLife. The second is to have your avatar/character whisked off to a different location, the interior, whenever you click on a door. The choice defines the approach to constructing the game and this is an important decision from the outset, because of what software will be used and how that software will be used. Personally I want it to be as realistic as possible.

The rest of this blog is about City Games in another sense of the word. It is holistic.

Once, long ago, there was a D&D 2nd edition World Setting called Planescape. I was a kid on a very low budget unable to afford to purchase it. I read about it in Dragon magazine and more importantly I fell in love with the pencil and watercolour dreams used to illustrate its twisted and barbed desert culture inspired characters and environment. It had some nuts crazy ideas and some powerful beautiful ones. It affected me deeply, enchanted me seductively and willingly I went into the tent of the bisex scorpion slut for the passion which changes boys into men of the cult of purple eyed, addicted to black blood magicks drawing forth our power from hidden inside, leeching our innocent purity accepted as necessary for us to survive this barren place. It wasn't quite Dune and it certainly wasn't the same as Mos Eisley but it was Arabian Nights nevertheless. 

It was the Arabian Nights of accepting the necessary evils of life being what it is. It was dark and bitter and yet it was beautiful, and that beauty broke through into dreamings of better worlds. The cruelty of Planescape enhanced that in the same way a curved needle focus of mind comes from drinking venom. You know its going to kill you but for the shortned remainder of your life you will live in a more blissful state and you will know. And the promise of reawakening even after death because of the summonings we do here, albeit in shadow form and barely human, are a promise we hold the sorceress to. Should we turn against her, but no she is exceptional and extends our stay, live to see another day simply because it has to be this way. Sacrifices made and difficult choices. Sigil City is the desert fantasy equivalent of cyberpunk. It predates Steampunk and in many ways a precursor to that movement.

Sigil City. The name invokes schizophrenic concepts that the cracks in the city pavement where I live are runes forming from demons which leak through into our dimension due to evil worship by the city masons, those enslaved to the city hive, its mind and soultwisting us into its games, all who step on the cracks are redesigned by experiences the city throws at them to conform them to its long-term startegies, to tell the tales this city has to tell. 

"The human brain is infuriatingly good at detecting repeating patterns." Shamus Young

City games are the games the city plays on us. City games are the games the denizens play on us. City games are the weaving between scenes depicted on the urban tarot deck which describes the concerns of the civilizing influence of the Urban Goddess Ishtar who is Itza, place of the people and of urban ways. Love and War and Fertility. Development of emerging forces through repeat cycles understood as tangent spirals within the cycle loops. We go around in circles within these city streets and we repeat the patterns until we find a way to break through and ascend, perhaps not in rank and prestige but definitely in our maturity of understanding and perceiving what is going on here. 

To do that, to become that which we are fully capable of being, not the self-image we believe ourselves to be but the inevitable and forced compromise of living here in such a place. To survive and to become a survivor we have to experience everything. From begging to ruling, from killing to parenting, from relaxation to torture to the state which is both at once, from love and hate to futility and entertainment. From employment to redeployment. From creator and destructor to strategist and architect. From child to adult and aging wisely in our own unique direction. From hope and aspiration to protecting our own from everything which is out to get us, people facing the same life and death choices every day as we ourselves, establishing niches merely to survive here and losing all sense of morality so that we become powerful enough to project forceably our own sense of morality onto the world around us. 

City Games are cosmopolitan, light relief and black despair, eyes which are at once life and death and dare. We see this in the living ones, the desperate and the greedy, and in the others we see faded, zombified, malnourished souls who have forgot themselves and become the underling through no fault of their own struggle. 

City Games are Mysteries of Old Chinatown where the streets ooze with history and ancient secrets of lost magick.

City Games are who knows what about who and who can rise above service-to-self enough to accept the price of independence is to sacrifice all others. Where service to others is a thing known only by slaves and the wealthy wisdom holders maintaining the state from utter collapse which it inevitably brings upon itself. The city sets a Challenge for everybody at every level of the game. It is rigged and it is rigid. It is masonic, it is stepped, our perceptions evolving in stages. The resolution gets better and the view and insight farther the higher up you rise. 

Sigil City is known as the City of Doors. Ancient Luxor aka Thebes in Egypt is the City of a Thousand Doors. The Palace of a Thousand Doors is a location in the NeverEnding Story in which every room contains three doors. Beside the one you entered are two others, each with a similar and related symbol upon it. You simply choose which to pass through on your journey.  Life can be so simple. Recognizing the signs, what the symbols are, this is the diffcult part. 

Some of us live on the dream planes, are of the myth. We watch others affected by the lower levels of the ripple-down effect, taking the designs and regurgitating them, falling into their schemes. These people live their lives out unkowning that they are merely copies of patterns. We call those ones the Pattern Walkers. They must walk through the patterns until such time they revelation and awaken, break free and rise to the next tier of self awareness. Because they exist to compare ourselves by, we know ourselves to be the elite. 

We have our own purpose and are ourselves merely walking patterns of a higher order the perameters of which we cannot see, not until tested at every place for breaks and finally recognize what we must do. Thus we are the architects, those whose original dreaming is always original dreaming and not to swim the wake of other dreamers passing. We delude ourselves for as we ascend to break the surface which surely exists, the flow is constant. We come up on others until we make our own and then, always, encounter the next level strategists further ahead and going in a different way.

This skaven text becomes wyrd as I watch through sleepless eyes. Already my eyes darken, already the purple seeps into my glaze and I must harken for the twysting of the wize be cometh ere agun. 

So muth belon, belathun cur callen doth formeth anchant ritual vituals uponth my soul thinketh I un-readeth uv must mind controle. There is another laying over me arune of complex warping and evoked have I some thing not uv mine choosing, a spell caster is placing me upon his field and I choose not to play along to his amusing though his affective wiles entwine upon mine smiles. 

Time is made of energy bound into form and flowing. Should we perceive the tangent right, we shall leave this place, be free tonight. Not of my choosing are these notes added to the text, there is a thing tapped into through Sigil which affects. 

The City does this. Be careful what you tune into. These are games you thought you knew the rules to, and you don't. It keeps you on your feet. You become a dancer or you die. 

The question is, are these doors going to open if we touch them or are we safer of the streets where the only locks are the chains which turn our attention and draw us to our future. Wherever that may take us. 

City Games are to gamble with fate. Your soul is a tool of trade. It is all you have but for the vanity of distractions, delusions and illusions, trinkets of these urban ways. City games are for designs, the goals we intend: status, knowledge, wealth, respect, a meal, the one, comfort, revenge, freedom to choose, a place to sleep, some games we are forced and they play too deep.


Pixel City by Shamus Young

for goddamn PC not MAC :(
beautiful though

I discovered THAT after researching THIS:

"A few simple building meshes assembled into a slightly larger number of city "blocks". 
Add particle array and voila, instant city."

 Originally Posted by podperson

Particle City by Tony Loewald

 Which also put me onto THIS:

Why only this very morning I was doing THIS on FaceBook:

And so you can see where I am heading for the next batch of 3D art stuff ...

UPDATE: 6.3.18

Discovered this; guy has fixed the 'cars are crap in pixelcity' issue.


This blog is a brief overview of my digital production pipeline.

Photoshop now costs 20 bucks a month to rent access to it. 

Fuck That Shit. 

I use Pixelmator which for my purposes does exactly the same thing and cost 10 bucks for your own copy of the full version .

Ordo Octopia bought me a HuionH610Pro graphic tablet which I do not use as often as I should. I will now that I have moved to a place I feel safer and homelier in. There are so many very talented digital artists using g-tabs who are so far ahead of what I am capable of that I feel a fool even trying. For some specific tasks it is the precision instrument necessary.

For me it is easier to draw with a biro onto paper and work also with real paint to create unique painterly textures, then photo or scan and upload into Pixelmator, than it is to sit down and develop pictures with a new thing such as g-tab. It's my generation showing through. I was the last generation to grow up before the internet although I was recognized to be a computer genius as a kid. Back then it was programming my grandads BBC micro, I was a teenager before Amiga came along and Delux-Paint. And FASA's Shadowrun book.

I got a copy of the lite version of Cheetah 3D for my mac and when they upgraded to a much better version they gave the good version away for free to all their buyers, so lucky me got the good version for cheap. Again this is a thing which I have not fully explored into, it has many functions which I feel I am aging and running out of time to learn. When my mind and soul are ready they will be capable and I will push myself to achieve. Meanwhile I am at a stage where I can do a lot with it, a lot which makes pro's laugh and the uninitiated awe. I have strictly limited my output to low-poly creations. This is because our current generation of computers lags very badly whenever they have to render anything complicated in 3D. Mostly I build architecture favoring Japanese traditional and modern styles and of course Brutalism and Art Deco.

I have Unity and Unreal game engines. Not because this is what everyone else is using but because when I did a lot of research into which platforms best suit me, these two came top of the list, which is why everybody with the same criteria is using them. These are both free now, a game changer in the market, although they charge a % of your profits if you make any which is fair enough. 
I have a bunch of Udemy video tutorials for those  which refuse to play properly due to some glitch which Udemy has not fixed yet. I experimented with both platforms (Unity and Unreal) and discovered that their interface is "like steering a cow" to use the famous aphorism. This puts me off them a lot more than it should. The definition of 'professional' in the game industry means 'obsessed enough with making a product to put up with annoying bullshit interfaces' and this is the major reason why game developers are frustrated.

If I want to see the result of my work quickly, I use SecondLife VR which although a fifteen year old modified Torque game engine which can be rather laggy. The dominance of SL as the major VR platform proves it is not yet obsolete. It has the advantage of a global audience of users most of whom are also creatives. It has the advantage of being the social life I do not have due to where I live being so remote that not even google street maps can get here. 
As a result most of what you will see of my 3D designs will be 2D screenshots of my builds. You are perfectly welcome to check them out in SL, a place which changes fast. I have had some excellent teachers in there showing me how to upload 3D and texture it, skills which are immediately applicable to Unity and Unreal. I would have had to go to uni to get to the stage I am now at, which would have cost a lot of money. 
Growing up in the 80s as a Shadowrun kid, SL VR is a dream come true for digital artists. I love it. Yet it is not commercial in the same way an Android App or a Steam powered game release is commercial. 
A few objects in the SL market and a lot more which my browser rejects from uploading to the SL market for reasons of its own are a world away from having a whole computer game product to sell which is worth buying.  
Perhaps I simply was not ready yet to achieve that stage of the game. As with everything it is step by step. It is all about process. Which is why I am doing a blog about workflow pipeline. On which note here is a link to showcase some of my SL builds.
So I build 3D game apps, largely architectural, often cyberpunk, all custom designed for low lag. I am developing as fast as I can. I cover a lot of bases and cannot do everything. I do need to team up with others to further my career and see my visions complete. 
Sometimes I even turn my computer off and go for a walk. 

Saturday 21 January 2017


Spirit down vs Matter up
They meet in the middle.
Not so much its about they meet in the middle as How.
Spirit works through matter.
Big spirit is holistic, works through collectively.
Material scientists refute association between face-value unrelated events.
When I switch this button on the wall over here, a light goes on in the ceiling over there.
These are not related events, it is mere coincidence.
Ah but the material scientists observe an underlaying structure,

associating the switch with the lightbulb. 
There is circuitry in the walls, out of sight.
Yes, the spiritual scientists reply. 

Yes now you are beginning to understand
what we have been explaining to you for all of this time. 

Friday 20 January 2017

The Dragon Dance

The Dragon Dance

"Heaven welcomes careful relationships." anon


Women and Men are designed physically to give each other pleasure.

It is probable that we are designed intuitively, emotionally and mentally for the same purpose.


There is something wrong with those who don’t want to.

Q: What?

A: Conditioning against it

    (of the super-ego, affecting and over-riding thus causing confusion of, emotions and instincts)

- through Social indoctrination (conformity to cultism is prejudice)

- through bad experience


Judging potential future experiences based on past experiences is not sense. It is not sane.

Judging all women/men based on experiences of a minority is not sense. It is not sane.

It is extremism.


Judging all women/men based on experiences of a majority is not sense.

It is fundamentalism.


Preconceptions are projected onto targets.

This is a law of energy dynamics.

Although often described incorrectly as ‘spiritual sciences’ it is also factually ‘material sciences’, as has been proved in the famous ‘two jars’ experiment by Dr Emoto.

“Simplicity is elegance.” anon

Monday 16 January 2017


"When you choose sacredness above all else you will begin to heal on many levels. Tread lightly on earth mother, and always let your feet carry peace into other people's homes." Kim Russell

You Talk Too Much

We are better being natural than of the mind. 

When we talk, that is all of the Mind. We call it 'ego' but it is not really ego which is a necessary component to assimilate and correlate the id, the super-ego and external stimuli. It is the Mind, not the ego which is a problem. Mind uses us and we do not often use it. 

Always I observed two types of people. In today's terms, Judgers and Intuitives. Both think the other has a bit missing. Judgers cannot see that Mind uses us and we do not often use it. Intuitives can. That is one difference.

So I do not enjoy speaking with people. Better to feel together in silence. We would get so much further; it is evolutionary. Most of the disputes between people are of the Mind. This is not hyper-sensitivity or being over-emotional which is what Judgers lacking in empathy describe it as. Being together in silence means developing sensory abilities into extra-sensory abilities. We lost all of that when we started talking. We do not communicate verbally about the important information because by talking we disconnect from experiencing. 

Philosophy of Truth

“One of the major branches of philosophy is EPISTEMOLOGY. Epistemology translates as the study of knowledge. Among the problems addressed in Epistemology are the structure, reliability, extent, and kind of knowledge we have; the meaning of truth; logic and a variety of strictly linguistic concerns; and the foundations of all knowledge, including whether real knowledge is even a possibility. 

Do you, the reader, recognise that there is no single objective truth, but rather that tere are a multiplicity of conflicting truths?”   

 -Marlene Simoneaux

Within complexity it is situational truths. With minimalist aesthetic it is common to accept the very first reaction as truth and subsequent reactions as less truth. This philosophy is questionable. With minimalist aesthetic there is only one truth. It is because it is. A thing which did not occur can be believed as if it did occur. This does not make it a truth. The application of science has showed us that waves collapse when they reach their limitations. Falseness is limited. Truth however permeates indefinitely because 'it is'. When asked can humans know truth the obvious answer is: yes, with exact degree by which they are willing to accept it over falseness. The complexity of discussing truth however has given rise to a comprehension of resonance. People are magnetically attracted toward that with which they resonate most deeply. In a culture of liars it is normal for people feel most comfortable believing falseness. Such are uncomfortable when faced with truth. The distinction between sharing comfortable falseness and accepting situational truths exists thinly.

With reference to Truth as the exemption of collapse of waveform of falseness. It depends very much over what timescale a truth is projected. Once we forget a circumstance it becomes irrelevant. While it is relevant the debate of its truth or falseness continues until we witness the collapse of the falseness, the revealing that it is such.

On a large enough timescale the complete history of our civilization will be forgotten. It matters not which child stole the cookies and lied or which thief robbed the bank and lied, which spouse slept with which neighbor behind which partners back. The truths of these matters which we so importantly build our lives around because the debate holds such power over us, until we let go of the issue. These truths become irrelevant a hundred, a thousand, a hundred thousand years later. What has permeated since the civilization of ten thousand years ago? Issues which were faced then and which we face now and yet have still not discovered any answer for. Perhaps this fuels our quest for what is truth?

And when we come to know truth, to align with that resonance, the change is fundamental.

"Now I'm feeling lost and confused, your thoughts kind of wandered of if different directions and some of them do not appear to have been completed."  -Marlene Simoneaux

You are wonderful Marlene. Thank you.

Saturday 14 January 2017



Chapter One  Chapter Two  Chapter Three  Chapter Four  Chapter Five  Chapter Six  Chapter Seven  Chapter Eight NEXT

Unicorn Hunters Chapter Eight / Invisible As Breath, The Pivot Shifts

Meadow writes. She detests computers. She makes hand crafted books. The ones she is most proud of and goes furthest with, illustrating them with watercolour and fine-liner pen, are dark fayrie tales. She has a small series. One day, she explains, when she is old and has a collection, she will mass produce them. If the real book industry still exists by then. She says the world will be more ready for it by that time. It will be her retirement fund or the start of a foundation for sick-minded children. She does not show off about her gifts. I had to pry into her mysterious life to discover this much about her. 

I knock on her caravan carrying a flagon of warm spiced cider with the intention of sharing it with her before sleeping. The caravan stinks of incense and hippy. Half burned out sticks of nag champa wedged into something in a shadowy corner from which smoke coils, art nouveau serpents silver into the air. Meadow is invisible so I settle the flask on the caravan's small table where she is half way through an illustration. She has already written the words in her beautiful dreamy hand, one sentence per page to be accompanied by an illustration. I am spellbound.

'There is a legend amongst us, ancient when I was born. A tale that a unicorn can only be harmed if it is touched by one whose heart is pure as a white feather or snow free of radiation. During that moment, the unicorn for all its grandiose mystic power, is utterly vulnerable. Thus it attracts its own demise by the mere act of connecting with such purity as it seeks. Such moments must occur in utmost of secrecy.'

This is the moment when I feel the electric of the hairs rising on the back of my neck, and moments later, her fingertips caressing me softly as breath. I turn and she is smiling although her eyes are as black as the night.

For one so gentle, fragile, she has superhuman strength. She pushes me by the wrists and with such force that I land on the tye-dye cushions of the bench-chest along side the table. Then she is biting my bottom lip, her eyes wide and intense, exquisitely alien. We kiss, she has split my lip and it hurts but the blood flowing between us tangy and metallic is waking me up even as I am falling into her spell. Without speech she squats atop of me and pins me in place. I hold her elfin waist, her hips, watching my reflection in her black eyes, supernaturally wide iris and her skin porcelain. She giggles, breaking the spell, twisting her form to sit on my lap and wrap her arms around my shoulders. She weighs nothing at all. Our kiss continues until we come up for breath and she looks me square in the face.

"That was unexpected!" I say. I had not to speak the words for she already had heard them come into focus in my mind.

"Mushrooms" she replies. 

"I thought you are vegan." I pressed the side of my knuckle to my bottom lip, checking the bleeding. 

"You taste sweet." She made a cute kind of meowling sound as she encountered the flask and twisted the lid away. I could see steam rising and sucked into her nostrils. For a moment it was purple and sparkled. "You have cups?" She asked. Again she asked me without words, the whole of her being for that fraction of a second expressed her thought. There were cups in the sink and in the dim light of a clockwork LED lantern wrapped in a shawl she had hanging over the table I decided quickly that it did not matter too much if she had not washed them after preparing herself a psychedelic brew on the hotplate of a tiny wood-stove. In the time it took for me to do a brief visual check for bugs she had moved beside me in the kitchen area of her caravan. I placed them down and she poured the liquid into them both. "Hmm, more nectar." She croaked. I would do anything she asks when she uses her voice that way, husky and sweet. 

"Drink up. We have fucking to attend." She says blatantly. Her body pirouettes while her eyes remain steadily on me, even after she turns her head away, both hands cupping her drink, sipping it gently. The light is dimming because the clockwork is wearing down.

I recognize the pungent earthy scent of the mushrooms over the incense. "It's only mild. I'd just started coming up when I saw you in here."

I cannot describe how beautiful it is to make love with Meadow.

'When two bitter enemies unite a sacrifice by each must be made. One, Love and Two, Hate. By this ritual comes a power. It is the nature of energies to balance. Polarized and becoming a natural system, Love and Hate combine to create a hinge. The pivot is complicated. While it remains in the situation it is in, the polarity remains. One extremity loves the pivot, the other extremity hates the one who loves the pivot. It will be this way until something shifts - until the extremes agree upon to change the system dynamic.'

Somehow she remembered this paragraph intact and wrote it down an hour or more later. Somehow she can function while on magick mushrooms enough to do this. I actually heard the phrase spoken clearly from within my mind. Meadow explained it is the consciousness of the mushrooms, her spirit ally, that it is telepathic and because of our relationship, being one being, we both heard it together. Brain deciphers energy waves and this wave was strong. The words make less sense reading them back the next day because I no longer have connection to nor memory of whatever sourced them. Only the brilliant feeling in every cell of my body from enjoying her soul. 

“The words relate to something. A teaching. I cannot see the whole picture this morning. Lazy. Get me breakfast will ya’?”

“You have any food in here?”

“I have you.”

Her eye-liner is intact from last night, Egyptian style. Black lines surround the hyper-colour of everything. Deep-etched, engraved into the fabric through which light shines through, oil-slick.

I get light the wood-stove to cook us some tea in a metal kettle. This process takes at least half an hour or more compared with the electric and plastic kettles and is infinitely more wholesome.Meanwhile we snuggle under her multiple duvets and blankets and simply enjoy each others tender warmth and slipping in and out of dreamspace. She giggles as I place my hand on her abdomen wherin our child grows.