Thursday 29 December 2016

A Silent Scent

an anonymous Naked Lunch inspired illustration

(another) one of those nights.

the sort you have when you are re-treading old ground, not sure if it's your own footsteps or another's coming up the hall of time, treading water in the dusky light of an oil lens mind.

the sort of night when she is nothing more than a lingering memory and the silky salty taste of tar and drink, a scent on the air where the slats over an open window filter particles of possible worlds into the slipstream of an endless, timeless moment. 

one of those nights when you know you have been here too long but the movie is still about to begin just like it always was.

the phone rings, distracting me from working. it's her agent asking me to meet, sounds flustered. I find myself halfway down the hall throwing on a borrowed jacket and i find myself, waking to a world softened by the creamy prosaic. 

Ahead the music of the cities background charms seduce me through its streets until i find myself again knocking on her door, how many times, there's no counting. 

A bolt slides with a clunk and I'm drunk enough to boldly step inside. Trouble is this is not the same room as before, something has changed I can't quite place my finger on it.

It is so tempting to edit this and describe that as being a Silent Scent on the air ... changes the meaning significantly. At what point do you decide the language is worth more than the intended meaning of the story, engaging with the ancient rite of sacrificial accuracy a blasphemy to some, nectar to others who sup of the hedonistic delights, smoke rising from feelings to illuminate the night in colours of a hidden twist, not to be missed if you have a heart for it and yet a poison to those born of day and drinking light.

A writer and an agent perchance would make these choices together for the vitality of a text, irrelevant to ninety-nine percent who happen upon this text but oh so damn critically important at that frozen moment of self-acclaim regarding repute and skill as a developing word worker narcissistic with inevitable self comparison to the role all writers assume, illustrative of challenges they go through.

People hate that level of decision making and writers are notorious for it. Just write the damn book says everyone in the industry and fans alike. The sort of fan which jams in its slow spin from a ceiling, stirring up air like a trawler dredging a sewer which once used to be the sea of promise.

When it gets to that stage of head-up-its-own-ass self-indulgence the very best thing to do is delete the text and free the words and concepts for some other future aspirational initiate to find and reform, the way they always do.

Can't do it though because right now this very moment the attachment is still so strong. When you can not tell if it is the best or very worst thing you ever wrote or read, that is when to shut the lid and step outside and put the thing to bed.

When a writer begins writing about writing, it is no longer valid, it has become an indulgence, the trap all writers face eventually.

And there she lay, the change upon her quite beautifully evident. Surrounded by black ink stain of words and letters melting into the carpet, furniture, clothes, her body face down on her favored rug, still as dead.

In her hand a pistol and her last novel dis-arrayed around her, a long and detailed suicide note apparently, a story worth reading.

The agent aghast had missed that one vital clue only a lover would know. The pistol loose in her open right hand upturned. The dame is not right handed.

So begins the first chapter of A Silent Scent, a penny dreadful abandoned before all Hope and followed by the sound of a paper being torn from a typewriter, crumpled and thrown into the heap surrounding the waste paper basket in the corner of a staling room.

Another swig from the bottle and another take on the matter entirely.

words ©2016 Ordo Octopia

Infinity & Denial

1  Always do the right thing.    "A sorcerer acts impeccably" Don Matus

2  Faith that Cosmos conspires to look after you, 
    that Medicine Journey teaches you what you need to become what you truly are.

You have to go through everything to get to this stage of comprehension. You have to do it with forgiveness and acceptance to remain spiritually unscathed. By this time you stop criticizing. By this time the ego is a tool, not a ruler. By this time you can see through everybody, their veils are lifted from your eyes even where they are covering their own eyes from seeing Truth.

Going through everything, forgiveness and acceptance means knowing how things work. And they do not work how you want them to. They do not work how you think they do. They do not work how you think they should. Because you have not factored for everything yet. You have not factored for the things which you deny to be real.

We live in a world where there are stories beyond the limitations of your belief. The credibility of those things is not what is being judged. Your acceptance of the connotations of the concept of "infinity" is what causes you to be tested.
There is the absolute of Truth and there is distraction. Your Heart is the gate and the probability is that you are keeping it held shut. It is elastic and it hurts like an asshole to stretch it open too far. Experiencing all of that pain and letting go of it is necessary, to use it as a wide open eye, to know Life for what it truly is.

The ancient symbol for this is Udjet. Such symbol necessarily functions on many levels of perception. Udjet is the receptacle for Djed the pillar, the vortice. Udjet is gate of the vortex, all that which flows within its gaze, the insight of a farseer, that which we call Pharoah, one who has seen far, whose radiance projects form into the world.

"We See As We Sey" ancient proverb

Tuesday 27 December 2016

Blue Star Kachina

Blue = Throat Chakra = Communication

wavelength = 450 - 495 nm
frequency = 606-668 THz


(as i post this)


2+7= 9
1+2= 3
2+0+1+6= 9


with resonance from
"9th and final sign"

"Purple does not exist. 
The harmonic range combined between Red and Blue spectrums;
we create that. With our perception. We project it." 
Woodstock (Mike)

this blog post follows directly from:

World In Transition

A Leap of Faith over the Chasm of A World Split Asunder

world in transition.  

The reality is so much more flabberghasting that most of us cannot cope with it, when we can it is difficult to sustain for long. It is splitting into two - the prophecies of indigenous people all over the world - one is a high vibrational state where our projected thoughts manifest as events in mass-time and the other is a denser vibration where our experiences are a consequence of events in mass-time. 

In christian tradition these are described as Heaven (light) and Earth (mass). Nothing to do with religion, simply the physics being described by these symbols. Our species is accelerating, evolving, to understand better this environment we are all sharing, what it is. There has for a long time been a cap on our perceptions preventing us all from seeing the other side of the cap, the higher frequencies. 

Now as the structures supporting it are decaying, the cap is being lifted. Recognition that everything is made of energy bound into form and motion - and that the form is not rigid but malleable, and that we are capable of experiencing outside of that form by vibrating faster than that form vibrates at, which occurs naturally at death and when we dream or have out-of-body-experiences, astral projection, etc. 

The surprise is that there is not only one dimension up there, heaven, white light, source, whatever it is called but there are an infinite number and what enables us to access them by observing and interacting with them is the imagination. Which immediately means that every fantasy fiction ever invented is not fake, those places are literally real places. Because outside of the grid of time-mass, of material dimension below the cap line, the physics are such that what we imagine and project into it, finds form. 

The more believers in any concept the more real it becomes, the more rigid its physics become, time structure depends on mass depends on the density created in belief in that universe. Historically we tried an experiment to give people access to it and the result was they re-created exactly the same universe they already knew because it is all they could imagine. Most of them relied on more creative people to imagine it for them. 

This is what 'the war for our minds' is all about - programming people to imagine en masse a particular dimension so that it can be exploited by those who know how. Another similar experiment caused tragedy because the bastards seized control and enslaved everyone by putting their grid onto everyone. This is a time when we are discovering ways to sustain our own individual manifestation. A time where the people preparing the next generations to experience even more of a break-down of the conventional physics which hold the grids into place. Effectively the dreamworlds and the world of mass-time are merging, converging. Those returning toward higher frequency ('the light') are flowing magnetically toward it, leaving behind the density. Everyone finding their own spectrums, their own balance, entering their own dreaming. 

It is coming to a time where we will be able to hop through into dimensions which a few, visionaries, creatives, imaginators, magi, can see approaching - even while in the physical domain of mass-time. We are entering what the mayans call the 5th Age but most of what I have described here is what the mayans call the 6th Age. 5th age is that of urban co-habitation, the ways of the people, everyone learning to live together sustainably. 6th age is when the veil lifts entirely and we can all stop hiding our true souls in human bodies because - Morpheus describes it in the Matrix "what you look like (in reality) is residual self identity (of what you looked like in the matrix)" - we will stop having to wear human form and will wear our own true nature, openly. 

So many people are so confused and do not even know their own true nature anyway. The first lesson of human co-existence, of the 5th age is that to survive it, we have to explore the contrasts between compromise, conformity, community and fuckthatshit I am unique individual who needs to fly. 6th age is when we fly. As a species we are evolving slowly, moving at the same speed as the slowest moving member. 

Transmigration of the soul and re-awakening of past-life self into one continuity is a part of waking up to what we really are, what the soul really is. Time dissolves and perception, eventually will be able to handle time dissolving, the grid loosing grip, as much as letting go of the body.  

"No form of energy ceases - it transmutes"

There will come a time when we will be able to hop between different bodies and forms of physical life, time-mass, will emerge which can host such souls. A lot of them already exist. A part of the cap is that it causes us to experience time as a linear event flowing in only one direction. Another is that our body is bound by gravity, by mass. The evolution is the shift up toward a higher state where the rules of physics are very different from what we have become used to for thousands of years. It has been a gestation phase in our development. 

When we see events in the world around us - our emotional and mental attachment to them binds us to their flow instead of to our own spark - energetic attachment to density placed in time. Detachment from all that causes us to see more purely what is happening. When we are free of the distraction of daily needs and the needs of the aging ailing body, Newtons Law of Thermodynamics no longer an issue for us on the other side of the cap. We will exist at a higher harmonic, the other side of the speed of light where our thoughts, emotions, instincts, will be the conduit for travel and manifesting experiences, we will no longer be bound into this physical world which is described as Purgatory. We are infinity and no form of energy can exist in any single state infinitely, if it does so it drops away from us so fast that it falls backward into time and becomes irrelevant. The more we let go of and flow only in our own sustainability, the more rapidly we accelerate. 

This lesson has been revealed to us ever since we swam up from the bottom of the oceans in an ecstasy of decreasing pressure and broke through the reflective water surface into the skies to see the stars. The configuration is shifting because the reflection is no longer distorted by distraction and confusion, by sansara and conditioning. Our species is getting its mind straight by setting aside mind and flowing with intuition, doing the right thing. 

We are generations away yet, a whole Age of learning to balance in relation with others, the 5th age is reflecting back at us as we enter it. Those stars though - they are breaking through to guide us on faster streams of light than we previously thought possible. Of course because belief is a factor of manifestation - be careful whose belief's you choose to follow. Only your instinct, intuition, is the real truth to guide. 

People who do not believe we are immortals incarnate, who do not believe the veil is lifting because of galactic alignment - they are going to go to wherever best suits their next step in the journey the same as for all of us, they will repeat it again until all of this makes more sense to them. If their density is such that they are holding the flyers and dreamers back, they will drop away into insignificance, into the past as their weight cannot sustain existing at such high velocity. When we let go of material bonds we are floating in a center from which we project reflections of our own souls design. Seeking its balance and radiating. Materialism is mass-time. When we let go of the bonds of time - we can go anywhere. 

The Heart is the center of our Being.

"The Center of Centers is Everywhere;
The Circumference is Nowhere.
All things were, are and shall be:
Of One, Through One and To One."
-Jakob Boehme

This blog post is followed directly by:

Monday 26 December 2016


I have never particularly been an active member of "the BDSM community".

My own sexuality fluctuates between absolutist heterosexual and bi-curious. 

I was raised to be gay by a lesbian mother and I rebelled because my own true male nature.

As I get older and more confident in myself and in revealing my feelings on the topic to the general public, basically as I give less of a shit whatever anyone thinks of me and trust the universe to get to know me instead of projecting bullshit onto me, it becomes easier to face up to the fact that we are naturally a promiscuous and bisexual species which has been screwed up by generations of social indoctrination with the intent of controlling and exploiting your sacred sexual-spiritual energy.

I have had exclusively female partners with the exception of losing my virginity by being gay raped as a young teenager. This has had consequence of screwing me up about it quite a lot. It was 8 years before I told anybody what had happened and it has been more than a quarter of a century since it happened. 

Some of these female partners have shared and showed me various aspects of BDSM. 

The big question which nobody discusses and it needs to be, is this: 

What exactly is meant by bondage?

To most people the word envisions latex and handcuffs, whips and perhaps blindfolds. Increasingly, gaffa-tape, rope and ball-gags. 

The word has one simple meaning which is not what is pictured above.

It means sharing experiences, putting your trust-partner through experiences, designed to make you both more intimate with each other, by stepping outside of normality (your own and society in general) and into an energetic space where the two become bound to one another, not merely physically but more especially emotionally and mentally. Naturally this incurs all manner of behavior which would be regarded as outright abusive were you to walk up and do it to a stranger in the street. Otherwise please let me know your postal address. In easy terms, this involves the importance of kink. It need only be light-hearted.

Bondage games are those which are designed to make couples more intimately bound. It is bondage to one another, so that neither strays or at least so that they both always return to one another whether they stray or not. It must be done In Perfect Love And Perfect Trust.

For me BDSM was all about sensory expansion for purpose of increased conscious awareness.

Heightened pain, heightened pleasure were methods for achieving this. I had studied the concept from books of ritual and theoretical magick. Bondage was the need for sharing a complimentary (female to my male) nervous system which the owner trusted me enough to reprogram, so that we could balance one another and achieve heightened perceptions together. The result - there is a reason why the word magick is used to describe what is attainable when people do this. We functioned from the center, the heart, and on expanding that. We were trained by Thanateros and the Order of the Morning Star although we mutated the teachings to serve our unique explorations. What we achieved by doing so went much, much further than the scope which the secret schools were even aware.

Envious third parties destroyed us because we did not protect our relationship enough to reject those only ones who could control us sufficiently to drive a wedge through us - parents. We were both in bondage to our parents who owned us and they twisted and manipulated us until we tore apart. Our bond was not perfect because our Trust was not perfect - because by circumstance we were forced to trust third parties who should have been safe however turned out to be untrustworthy. It has taken fifteen years to heal that wound.

Currently my main focus is on educating the world that the reason why men and women both have two nipples is expressly for the reason that we are designed to be balanced energetically by having both nipples suckled on at the same time on a regular basis - which requires two other people willing to become involved in such affection.