Wednesday 8 June 2022

Integrity - AHvJD

A lot of discussion recently about the outcome of the culturally significant Amber Herd v Jonny Depp court case (in which Amber Herd was fined 12 million dollars for lying about being abused), causing women to worry about how they will not be believed about being abused.  

The problem with that is not men at all: it is from women lying and all women being branded as liars. 

The problem is lack of accountability. 

In mens culture, respectability is based on responsibility: accountability is credibility. 

What the AHvJD case has highlighted at this time in tandem with astrology placements: 

Women are having a lesson in why men function that way. Because it helps communities to function while lies destroy lives. 

This is why “making an honest partner of my partner” is mentioned in marriage ceremonies - the couples are expected to hold each other accountable so the community functions better. 

Partner = pardoner, it’s the same word. The person who holds you accountable and who you hold accountable. 

It’s the Human blueprint.

That is the foundation of “the patriarchy” - the person most responsible is most respectable. 

It’s built on accumulation of merit, on people living up to their accountability and gaining credibility and the prestige which comes with it. 

This creates a stable community. 

That’s why men consider feminists who say ‘smash the patriarchy’ to be abusers who are destabilising communities.

The AGvJD case has come after decades of a culture (my whole lifetime at least) when men complain about being abused by women, not only are men not believed but they are discriminated against and ridiculed for it. 

It has been near-impossible for men to uphold the merits of integrity and accountability in those cultural circumstances. 

Women having empathy with mens predicament is one positive outcome of the AHvJD case.  

Rational Questions


1: Feeling Angry and Hurt

Do you accept that you get angry?

Do you accept that you get hurt?

Do you accept there is a relationship between anger and hurt? 

Do you accept that anger and hurt are emotions? 

Do you accept that you feel you have a right to get angry? Even if&when you don’t want to feel angry. 

Do you accept that you have a right to feel hurt? Even if&when you don’t want to feel hurt. 

Do you accept other people have a right to get angry and hurt too?

Do you accept that when you’re angry it’s not easy to explain why, because you’re angry?

Do you accept that when you’re hurt it’s not easy to explain why, because you’re hurt? 

Do you accept that it’s possible to think about your emotions, to translate them into words, to explain to other people your reason for feeling angry and hurt?

That you have a right to get angry and hurt is reasonable given the circumstances.

Do you accept other people have the same?

Do you accept you have a right to communicate with other people about your anger / hurt? 

Do you accept other people have a right to communicate with you about it, because they are affected by it? 

Do you accept anger and hurt can cause blockages in communication? 

Do you accept you and other people have a right to communicate about any blockages which prevent such communication? 

On the basis of answering yes to all of the above questions, we can now go forwards reasonably to talk about our rights and to use empathy to understand why the people around us including ourselves get angry about specific reasonable issues.

Do you agree with that?

2: Listing Causes 

What makes me angry is…

What makes me hurt is…

How I deal with anger is…

How I deal with hurt is…

To summarise: is it that the general reason you feel angry and hurt is because you feel your rights have been infringed and you are not getting enough respect?

This leads onto section 3.

3: Rights, Responsibility, Respectability. 

With rights comes responsibilities.

You’re angry because I have a right and I am asserting my right. You feel that my right infringes upon you.

That says more about your lack of respect for other peoples rights than it says about other people.

Basic Human Rights have to be understood as a given because it is right that you will naturally automatically have it.

Rights have to be defended because people always trying to take them away. This is what is meant by boundaries. Setting boundaries, establishing boundaries, reaffirming boundaries. 

Responsibility is Respectability. When people live up to their responsibilities they become more respectable and more respected. Accountability is credibility.

You do not automatically have a right to be respected or be credited for things you have not proven yourself to be and do. You have basic human rights as a foundation. Anything else is earned.

By adapting to become reliant on other peoples kindness, you will struggle in social environments where that kindness is not automatically given. Which to summarise, is called adult life.

The job parents to prepare children to survive adult life.

4: Facts and Fantasies

Are you allowed an Opinion?

Are other people allowed opinions? 

Are you allowed an opinion even if it’s wrong? 

Are other people allowed opinions even if they’re wrong? 

Are you aware of a difference between;

 ‘believing a thing which is wrong morally’ 


 ‘believing a thing which is wrong scientifically’?

It is morally wrong to be prejudice against someone because of an -ism, 

for example; sexism, racism, agism, nationalism. 

It is scientifically wrong to believe a thing is real when it is disproved using science,

for example; water boils at 100 degrees and freezes at zero degrees. 

It would be scientifically wrong to believe it to be the other way around. That would be delusional. 

Do you accept that straight-thinking people do not want to put delusional people in control? 

To knowingly put a delusional person in control is itself a delusional behaviour. A straight-thinking person who does that, is also therefore a delusional person. 

This reveals the importance of thinking for yourself. 

This reveals the importance of straight-thinking as superior to delusional-thinking.

Thinking for yourself requires questioning our assumptions about everything. 

Delusional is a word with two meanings; 

To be deluded. 

To cause delusion. 

Assume is a word with two meanings; 

To take for granted. 

To take responsibility. 

“An assumption is a grab; with a light on.

A delusion is clutching in the dark.” 

Both words ‘Delusion’ and ‘Assume’ mean simply; ‘fake’. A falseness knowingly or unknowingly mistaken for truth. A belief without any proof.