Sunday 28 February 2016


Atomology - Auriglyphica

©2016 snakeappletree


En Concept
En from Source
Many Worlds Paradigm 

Atomology consists of a collection of writing which forms an early and prefatory chapter of the main body of the Auriglyphica.


Reading Snowcrash by Neal Stephenson which presents his brother-in-law Steve Wiggins research into Asherah; and reading about Enlil and Enki from the recently translated Assyrian-Babylonian tablets which discuss the origins of Humankind as having been a slave species subservient with vastly more advanced Extra-Terrestrial giants who taught us, and whom we ultimately overthrew and committed genocide of them but for where they have interbred into the bloodlines of Humanity.

Studying this both practically and in terms of etymology as an academic pursuit have given me the outline for an educational body. My research is presented here in various short-excerpts, individually entitled. 

It helps to make a lot of sense of other of my writings which I was unable to write previously, now with retrospect can identify the necessity of this learning journey to place everything into context.

These are a loose affiliation of notes and manuscripts rather than a concisely re-written book. An almanac of associated ideas, retaining the looseness of mind necessary to ingest them properly.

It seems fitting that they should therefore begin with a woman.

Atomology consists of a collection of writing which forms an early and prefatory chapter of the Auriglyphica.


Its so strange, i was seeing a girl just before xmas and I walked out on her for being a bitch to her 4 year old, reported her to social services for it because it was that severe, she has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). My son did not like her at all either, and so I reasoned my role in her life at the time was simply to protect her kid a bit because now she has a history of it listed, her next bf if he is any good will report her too and then ss can act. Its sad but thats how life is and I do believe I did the right thing.

Anyway its taken me 2 months of feeling depressed to get over another bad relationship. Strangeness is how my diet went over to hers, it is like her energy grid has taken control of mine, that's part of why I couldn't cope with her she is so strong and her grid took over mine way too much for comfort. Why am I buying the same sugary carbohydrtae brands she lives on? That's so not like who I am. It’s her ADD it is infectious; that’s all I can think.

I am reading about this from ancient times the story of Enki and Enlil the Assyrian-Babylon texts and also Snowcrash by Neal Stephenson, talking about En as a language code. The En is the one who imprints the other ones and turns them into a Me, that's the ancient words for it (these concepts).

I imagine an En explaining to the underlings that they have become it’s Me’s. “You are Me now. Go do as I instructed.” Humans as ant-colony; the hive-mind, with basic social tiers. Not yet capable of autonomous action, because their Minds (Me-En-ds) were bio-electronically programmed and given a concision to perform a specific social/civic function, a duty by which they could self-identify as job-role. “Me Tarzan You Jane.”

Babylon is the result of a social evolution when everyone went individual instead of doing what they were told, the words changed meaning then.

Me-En-ing from which the word Men which is Roman for ‘Mind’; the civilisation process was regarded as a 'man' and his 'wife' from the word 'cive' which means 'made civic' - combined with West european word 'wy' from where we get 'why' to question and 'witch' to scratch away until we have resolved it. Applied to thought process; witches/wives as ‘wise’ women (Wy-Me-En). But the Romans saw the wife or cive as 'being of the same mind as her husband', because Me-en, the program and the order, from Assyrian then Babylonian.

We are taught to regard this as sexist. It could simply have been that naked men were easier and quicker to identify than naked women and children to the ET overlords, simply because their dangly bits stood out and needed ordering to structure us away from the wild culture. The ET channelled that energy into construction, hence civilisation process as the roots of masonry. It was not originally intended to be a sexism, at the time it was simple practicality for a species that could not tell the difference between any two humans regardless of their gender. Likewise our genetically adapted skin colour told us which ET the proto-human belonged to.

Language historians describe the En-strictures, EN-code-ME-nt, as a process of words, written and verbal instructions; but it is not simply that; it goes much deeper, encodement through energy overlaps.

Currently we regard people who are aware of Aura’s and that we emit bio-electro-magnetic energy fields as ‘spiritual’ although that is the wrong word for it, spirit indicating the spirit world and this is a different thing which later connects with the more subtle energies and dimensions.

I am robotically behaving like an ADD person performing routines which I have caught like a subconscious mind virus from my ex, buying same brands etc that she habitually regarded as normal. It is scary because I need free will and I need to buy what I choose, not what I am programmed to buy. She is another reptilian type, this is why the En were depicted as birds and reptiles in the ancient stellae of Assyria-Babylonia-Egypt-Aztec: they are so controlling over our energy fields. It is a hypnotic thing.

Does this make sense to you? It seems crazy to me but its the most accurate I can explain this thing which is happening. I think I am breaking thru it now she is letting go of me at last.

A trait of Attention Deficit Disorder is 'not responsive to external programming' from other people that is why they are the En, they are so strongly connected through inner tuition to the other grids, they cannot be instructed with memes (a meme is a mini Assyrian Me, a meme within  a meme, a mini program code within a program code) like most people. How this relates to our DNA I am not sure but I feel it is a part of it too. Probably to do with genetic attunement from bio-energetic programming, which resonates from the limbic regions of the brain, the reptilian cortex.


The concept En it means ‘in’ also ‘and’ also ‘an’ - these words developed phonetically from it.

Can modern language resonate with an historic language? Magic vibrations which affect our subconscious mind, encode our limbic cortex. Ancestral memory, deep level programming and functioning, the building blocks of cognition.

Can language recall and reinvent those ancient phonemes into modern use, albeit in a way we are unaware of? So that we are undergoing subtle coding due to our language construct ad verbalisation of it.

Placing vowels between consonants, changing the vowels to explore the subtle layers of meaning between the consonants. This method is how Egyptology was deciphered. Vocal inflections subtle shades of meaning can alter the precise meaning of the written; as with Hebrew where it is all entirely consonant words, no vowels. The vowels are crucially important for inflection of desired imparted meaning.

English language. En-glish. We historically are taught that it is from Anglo-ish, meaning ‘close approximation from Anglo) due to the suffix -ish (-ix) on the prefix Eng which is distinct from Ang. The written form came generations after the verbal, colloquial variants which mutate regionally as settlers expand colonies and integrate with local indigenous populations, evolving their own phraseology. The New World of European America’s are two hundred years into that process of becoming distinctly different from British, French and so forth; no longer colonies but assertive of independence as their own self-sufficient Empire.

EN -glish
EM -pire

Assyrian and Babylonian are two distinct dialects with slightly different meanings of these root stock etymological components.

                                   Aum Ohm Ogham Om Amon Amun Amen Imam : 13 cps


According to the research done by Steve Wiggins and published by his brother Neal Donaldson; In ancient times, an EN would program humans with various ME (we now use the word 'memes') to get them to perform various tasks. This also gave them a sense of self identity; a farmer Me was different from a weaver Me. Society functioned like an ant-hive, everybody programed by the En, until the fall of babylon event where 'God split our tongues' (EN-lil and EN-ki being the two major protagonists involved - who both continued their own interpretation of the cultural traditions after the event in different parts of the world).

My point is simply this; "When your mind is set (like concrete)" or "When your mind is made (like being crafted)" - the Egyptians have a concept called Set which means the Shadow of the Light, symbolized by a serpent headed deity (Sukhet). When your Mind is set and you are operating purely on the basis of one program, you are effectively EN-Acting a ME (meme) - a grid controlling your mind is controlling your opinions, your actions, etc. It is a limbic vibration.

As a Buddhist and as a Shaman I was taught to detach from Mind so that I can perceive with clarity, objectively, and maintain objectivity. This is a more rational approach than to believe that my own opinion is that which somebody else has programmed me to hold onto as an absolute. I concede that both Buddhism and Shamanic education does constitute somebody else teaching me to have a certain viewpoint, however the distinction is important, that viewpoint being an open mind which does not rigidly hold onto one specific set of opinions or another.

When I attain the open fluidity of mind, I discover that my Instincts, some people call it Intuition, takes over. It comes from much deeper within me and connects with the external world in a much purer way than the confusion of the Mind allows me to discern. In Buddhism the word for ME 'programmed mind' 'conditioned mind' and 'confusion' is the same word; Sansara (also spelled Samsara by some lineages). When we connect purely with Intuition, bypassing the programmed mind, we can use the mind in a higher function - as a calculus to decipher the instinct.

It is by no mistake that Instinct can be used both raw direct to the un-set mind, and also channelled up through the Heart which is the center of our being and emits a large energetic radiation outward from our body, affecting the magnetic charge of all particles within its zone. Heart-fields have been measured at approximately 40 feet radius although it does vary.

Our energetic systems are such that when we are occupied with a particular Me (obsessive thought syndrome) that radiates outward from the heart and affects the particle alignment of the physical world beyond our own body. Any scientific studies done within a heart-field zone will be contaminated by it. This is measurably provable with sensitive electronic equipment, such as a human organism consists of once it has been cleaned of all Memes.

If anybody ever tells you that their mind is set on a particular course of action, you do have to be wary that the person is not functioning from their optimum position, that they are functioning with relation to social programming.

In the past thousands of years since we developed through feudalism and became cosmopolitan, an Urban species, we have become much more complicated than the simple ME of old; we no longer have 'a baker' and 'a weaver' as a path of life which an individual can identify themselves with. We are now a confusion of multi-skilled, multi-arena's. The diversity is a good thing but the simplicity is healthier. We need to be aware of both functions; primal elegance compared with abstract modernity. We need to be able to function in both worlds. It is recognized that pollution is the result of dirtying, and hygiene is the result of purification toward simplicity. However it is also recognized that we diversified for a reason, to help us to evolve, and most important of all, the primary purpose of our revelation; to free us from being slaves to the EN.

We live in a world where the Masonic Illuminati are centered in ENgland. In many ways the clues as to the ancient patterns are still remembered - and lived by the ancient families. The long-term strategies were formed so many generations ago we have forgotten when; and yet we are still ENgaged in them.


The Reptilian Grid imposed upon us is only one of many agendas. Ultimately we are evolving toward pure fluid hyper-ability, multi-dimensional as we integrate higher levels of perception and rise above the time-mass based lower dimensions. We evolve perceptually, having attained this level of bodily form sufficient for our souls to interact with a planetary based dry-land environment. After this, emotions and soul, perceptions and ability to use Mind as an unlimited processor into unlimited dimensions. Albeit limitations imposed by imagination and restricted by practical environmental necessity and programming. Ability to recall dreams and past-life integration through rituals, traditionally the domain of secret  societies imparting shamanic wisdom to capable individuals.

As we enter the many worlds paradigm of fluid flexibility, we leave behind the restrictive control grids which perhaps were necessary for our ancestors evolution inout quest toward freedom and away from slavery. We have to, to evolve, and it is our nature as Life to evolve. This is a pure lesson of the Soul.

Given infinity as a playground, and a local-range body to wear for awhile until we can assimilate all the lessons we have to, of time-mass, of spirituality, of the other dimensions, of the futility of trying to control the macrocosm because it is not to be controlled,only enjoyed for its infinite wonders. Yet we must maintain self-sufficiency for us to be able to do this, while interacting with the physical domain.

The goal of re-awakening past life memories and future self-contact so that ultimately we can encompass (that prefix again) the whole of life experience at macrocosmic levels, becoming ourselves the angelic grids but of the Aquarian order which is about flexibility and mutability, rather than the ancient Angelic grids which are structurally finite and limited in their scope.

As we expand beyond the limitations we necessarily let go of the perch which has brought us thus far; we shed our skins of history and we grow beyond our ancestors scope to comprehend. This is all good, it is meant to be this way. Those who seek to retain the false empower base of control over others cannot cope with their energy sources breaking away toward freedom and must spiritualize or dissolve back to the realms over which they can most comfortably reside, as must we all.

The Auriglyphica is an analysis of the limbic system structures utilized throughout history. It is an attempt at a core book, a framework by which we may contemplate and comprehend these things, perhaps even to understand them in the broad terms necessary. It is by no means definite.

Saturday 27 February 2016

Techno Vampire

Techno Vampire

To comprehend two of the three strands of a complex weave, we recognize the term gothpunk was coined by White Wolf's original World of Darkness series of five books, especially so for Vampire: the Masquerade.

Cyberpunk we know already, as it diverges into dieselpunk, steampunk, solarpunk, is in its purest sense ‘man meets machine in grim city of corporate society and underculture’. This ranges from space pirates fighting aliens to machine-hackers being mind-hacked by machines.

Cyberpunk explores both the good side of technology, the bad side of technology, the good side of humanity, the bad side of inhumanity. Inhumanity is not merely the lacking of humanity, a machine cannot be inhumane. It requires a comprehension of humanity and a choice to turn against it, for a thing to be truly inhumane.

Cybergoth became a thing in itself, different from 'trad-goth meets cyber'. Industrial music inspired originally by rivet-head techno, metal and psytrance, an underground culture of home-made (as was original goth) rather than the corporate edge of drum&bass. Cybergoth as it has become is goth plus 'mad-max in black' plus neon, is primarily a nightclub scene.

Cybergoth has not yet been fully developed nor explored into all the potential directions it should. My primary focus for stimulating this is typically the question; so what does cybergoth architecture actually look like which distinguishes it from cyberpunk architecture?

Everybody says; Gotham city 2000. Except by this they mean Gotham city 2100 because cyberpunk and goth both predate the millennium. Now we are living in an age where references to the past are actually references to the future. Perhaps this is a connection point between trad-goth and cyberpunk.

Between Cyberpunk and Cybergoth is Industrial Goth. It is usually synonymous with cybergoth which as yet is heavily influenced by cyberpunk. These are distinct styles despite the overlap dissolving them into the same thing from an outside perception. I am making the calling; what defines the edges?

It should be argued that cybergoth is what happens when cyber meets goth without the element of punk. In this we will probably find that it is already omnipresent without our having lucidly observed it. Says me drinking more caffiene at 9pm so I can stay up all night playing in VR.

Legacy Of Cyberpunk

Legacy of The Cyberpunk

I robotically use 3D cgi tools and processes to build generic urban noir sci-fi environments. 
To base a build on one particular book, I would have to choose: which book? 

In many ways, to illustrate written scenes would make life more simple, it would give me a defined focus. I worry about copyright too much to dabble in fan-based visual interpretations. The workload, time and energy, also are prohibitors. Big Bad 'They' do not require to embed behavioural modifier chips in my skull, I have no wish to be sued by intellectual property owners of my dead literary heroes for connecting to their vision and taking it in a new direction for the new generations. Ownership is theft of Art, the corporate repression of inspiration.

A book would have to be worthy of doing it. 
The question remains, what book? 

I hear lines in my mind of Bowies album soundtrack for a TV series which was never made, comprising half of the Diamond Dogs album; the other half being his own take on the concept which itself fed directly into SLA Industries rpg by Nightfall Games, a wonderfully retro time-piece set in a Warhammer 40K inspired future. Beautiful though their product is, Nightfall are renowned for suing their fans and so to make any work of art based on it is sadly futile; a tragedy given that the nature of rpg games as imagination based and SLA particularly, is that the genius of the vision is in the groups own interpretation rather than the doctrine of the rulebook. 

This is why I prefer to be a genre artist rather than an illustrator of a specific vision. 

My background as a Fine Artist with a lifelong love of paint has led me to attempt breaking the division between raw paint and digital media. My paintings are abstract expressionist, inspired by urban textures. This means both environmental and emotional influences, exploring the psychology of dissolvement between grey boxes which are bland urban mindsets a result of bland urban environments and lifestyles. The dissolvement of rigid doctrines as limiting factors for our infinite creative possibility. For the same purpose as a scientist banged rocks together to make fire, smelted ore to make tools so the mythic realms of dreaming could enter more penetratively into the material, to improve life, to evolve.

I live in Wales where the weather is the the same spectrum as the architecture; bland, gray, rain, cloud, fog, elements which blend with concrete, tarmac, faces, moods, aspirations. It is important to me that my cgi environments retain that painterly quality, their gradients and textures are at once both fluid and wet while gritty and coarse; soft as aether yet solid and hard as a head crunched into the wall. Sci-fantastic and yet real. The disposability of - modern life, culture, lovers, money, emotions, humanity; as a part of the continual renewal which leaves no thing finished and no thing as yet un-begun. 

Our lives a flatscreen show-reel of temporal nature, fleeting feelings overpowering our vision to consume us as a worldview which affects everything we do. Yet which is relevant to nobody but the individual, broken and lonely from experience nobody else has shared: and at once from experience we all feel as a constant drudgery and deny it because we use most of our time trying to escape from it; distractions as we find ways around one concrete box and into another which has a mildly different tone.  It is not the difference which makes he difference but the change which makes the change.

Many sci-fi noir novels fit the bill of this desperately depressing distopia; I grew up in the latter half of the 20th century era of post-modern industrialism, I grew up through the eighties when cyber was a fiction and then the nineties when the internet became a reality. The next generations are filled with optimism so that the discord of gritty gray cities is not something they wish to connect with, therefore my art becomes for me a healing, a healing I would love to share with others but others retreat from in self-preservation. I do not expect those born into a world where cd's are an outmoded relic rather than a thing we saw on a terrestrial tv called 'Tomorrows World', to understand exactly this feeling which I have no word for yet permeates an entire diverse and constantly reinvented multi-media genre. Perhaps that is why it is so compelling to so many people who identify with it even while avoiding it. 

Gray boxes oozing into each other becomes a personal interface between myself and the machine age where concrete emotions means hardness; the only stability. A deadbeat urban environment and social poverty which shaped me into what I am, a maker of visual imagery attempting to express how cold the world of concrete and digital is, cold and yet shocking. I am of that breed, consequence of that generation.

As 3D printers on Mars make Martian concrete from the red worlds rusty dust, calling their high-tech eco-dwells 'Marships' after the Earthships of sustainable, ecological, self-sufficient dwellings retro-pioneered on Earth to get away from the desolate post-industrial city spirit; these steely urban roots from Terra’s grim past will remain, legacy of the cyberpunk. 

3d digital displacement map from photo of painting

example from Gray Boxes series, water-based poster paint on cardboard

For The 200

The website statistics show that there are an average of 200 people a week reading my blogs. Only three of them have contacted me in the whole time the blog has been going. This is a little bit creepy because it means a lot more people have an insight into me more than I have into them. I am facing the price of fame, albeit a mild dose of minor internet personality rather than the massively funded media glossy disposables who the industry keeps throwing at us as a method to persuade us to pay them for products we do not really actually need other than to distract us by entertainment.

So this blog is a HELLO to all of the people who regularly read my stuff and for whatever reasons, have not yet emailed me to say hi. I write blogs because I am lonely and have what I believe is a very human need for human contact. Sitting in a satellite station on a far and distant star … well okay so its not quite so far out as that, it’s a research outpost orbiting Saturn, where scientists are working on crazy shit which no physicist on Earth can accept is real because the physics of earth, within the gravity-time-mass sphere of that planet, are very different from the physics which exist beyond it, on other worlds and in the space between. It is a factor which very few earth scientists factor for during the conclusively tests of their experiments.

One such example is the new NASA ion drive which works in space but not within Earths skies, because it requires a vacuum to function as intended. A useful development which within the next few generations is going to see the pioneering of relocation of civilians from Earth to Mars and longer-term exploration beyond the Solar system.

It gets stranger than that. Where Terrestrial physics break down, we have to develop, evolve an understanding of the new potentials. All of that junk DNA and latent psychic abilities which are compressed and reduced within Earths sphere; those are going to come to the fore a lot more in peoples awareness as we expand beyond the compression field. Out here we deal with it regularly, a continual phenomena.

Preparing Earth humans for what is to come is especially difficult while the media entertainment and usury-slavery systems are controlling so much of so many peoples lives, programming you how and what to think; the generated psychic field around the Earth is dense and repressive. For this reason I was nocturnal for the time I was inhabiting the planet. Out here in zero-g for so much of the time, light-g for the rest of it; my bones are changing, my muscle-mass is changing. Most of the scientists here have been here a lot longer than I have and would snap if they returned to Earth, it would be a death-trip. Most non-planetary species with whom we are occasional contact regard Earth type planets as density zones to be avoided, they are a lot lighter than Terrans, in many more ways than the physical.

So with all of this going on, and not much else to do other than write blogs from outer space and watching sci-fi movies, this is a big hello to all of you who have been reading me, people whom I have been inspiring and entertaining, people who make me feel like it is worth doing these blogs after all, that I am not alone with my limitations and frustrations. It adds value to what I do and to my life, for which I am exceptionally grateful.

Friday 26 February 2016

Please Donate


















* Secure transaction. You will need a Paypal account (free to open).

Saturday 20 February 2016

Gender Conditional Civil Rights In Wales

Pablo Picasso, Rape of the Sabine Women, 1962


(to lead in circles)

This is a discourse on Britonic (the original British) language and contemporary society which has inherited its infrastructure from Roman civilisation.

English words and concepts from Latin (from the Roman Occupation of Briton):

Civilisation - The process of civilising people through enforced civic conformity.
Civic - urban administration, duties and activities of people in relation to urban environment.
Cives - citizens.

"Tacitus describes how the Romanised Britons embraced the new urban centres: They spoke of such novelties as 'civilisation', when this was really only a feature of their slavery (Agricola, 21)”

I live in SouthWest Wales. We are constantly told by female supremacists that we live in a male dominated society. This persuades females toward anti-male extremism. The facts are that we do not live in a male dominated society. It is a myth. The origins of the concept that we live in a male dominated culture comes from this:

"According to Livy the two peoples participated in a ceremony of union after which they were named Quirites after the Sabine town of Cures. The two groups became the first curiae, subordinate assemblies, from co-viria ("fellow assemblymen," where vir is "man," as only men participated in government). The Quirites were the co-viri. The two peoples had acquired one status. The Latin for the Sabine Quirites was cives, which in one analysis came from the Indo-European *kei-, "lie down" in the sense of incumbent, member of the same house. City, civic, civil all come from this root. Two peoples were now under the same roof, so to speak.”

Mewnol Cymhennu Cynhesu

(Inside, to put in order, the warm)

“Women have a different way of doing things than men.” Julie, CYCA

Every desk department of the Carmarthenshire bureaucratic Civic structure is predominately run by females. With exception of the occasional token beta-male, females control the following departments: childcare, education, social security (benefits) agencies and sub-agencies, social services, mental health and family counseling. This affects a lot of people of both genders.

The exceptions are menial labour; bin-men, etc; the ‘dirty outdoors tasks’.

Non-civic affiliated groups are private enterprises (including Police); as entirely different corporate bodies to the civic departments, are discluded from the objectively observed statement that females control the civic body. Ergo, people working for non-civic bodies are engaged in wage from private enterprises. Unlike the civic bodies, private enterprises are policed in their conformity to equality.

“I don’t care about Human Rights.” Julie, CYCA 

Crynodeb / Summary

Ilywodraeth [-au, f] / Government - noun
"the group of people with the authority to govern a country or state; a particular ministry in office" Oxford Dictionary

It is clearly evident that the Romans imposed a Civic Structure upon Britain, which has now (in Carmarthenshire at least) become controlled by females and by female mentality, which according to a spokesperson; does not care about male rights and functions exclusively from the female perception of how things should be. 

Given that it does not serve the purpose of gender equality, nor males; from where is the fallacy that we now live in a male dominated society, coming?

Cydraddoldeb [m] / Equality - noun
"the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, or opportunities" Oxford Dictionary

Friday 19 February 2016

At The Bridge

At The Bridge

"Breaking the bridge between Life and Death, we encounter Spirit. 

Once having stilled the Mind; what then?” 

~Zen of Jo (serpent-heart)

"Having an infallible memory for foreign names and words is not what makes you a Master. Though I have read more than I can carry and forgotten more than most will ever learn; it is the distilled synthesis of this which is, ultimately, the pure form of my Budo, the Way of my being. I have respect for my teachers and the masters of old, so many there are who have helped to attain long generations after their passing. The Nameless Energy which flows through us all, this is the Spirit of our art. Better service to that itself than to many dead elders. Name one of them stand forth to disagree."

When my master spoke those words, I felt compelled to stand forth. He smiled graciously yet inquisitively. His look spoke; “Know the Man.”

(In later re-translations this is simplified for greater clarity, in accordance with the immortal creed; “Know Yourself.”)

I found in that moment that any words would be fleeting excuses invested with divinity of importance. I had wanted to say; “I do not know why I have stood forward, Master. It is not with disrespect. It seemed Right Action. That is all.” I held back from saying this, my manner spoke it for me. I held back even further from voicing a suspicion that the Spirit itself had prodded me to take the audacious step.

In this moment I detached from being controlled by Spirits now having seen how powerful a force they are upon us. In that moment I detached from myself, watching the body perform an action which my own mind had not directed it. I detached from the mind which, until that moment, had been the operator of my body with which I had assumed self-identification, now revealed as mere symbiosis with some tricky other.

I could not explain this at the time with words, it took me years of contemplation to rediscover the refined perception so as to communicate it. It most certainly was a formative experience for me, an insight into some other level of what my training had been preparing for me to achieve. And yet within the context of the moment, none of that was readily transmittable.

That is not to say it went un-noticed; everybody gathered present felt of it, and fell silent to discern and reflect upon what was occurring. The fallacy of our words as a causality and response dialogue, a relationship of minds from one step to the next within a normal codex, had dissolved. The ancient word for this is Mu.

I stepped forward into a realm of dream where associations are not always as they seem. Around me I could detect immediately which of the acolytes were merely reptilian cortex existing within projections of their own trained minds, and which were free enough of mind to see, as I now could see. In that moment I had become enlightened. Perhaps not to the same attainment as the Buddha but to a perception aside from human mainstream, one of wider, higher insight, certainly.

My master studied me, recognising what I was experiencing, seeing the change in me. He stepped aside and to my great surprise silently placed into my hand a token of transition; a sash which he had loosed fluidly from his own waist. 

Inside I stammered and overcame it, forcing an assertion on the still moment. I spoke boldly: “The Nameless Spirit.” I fell to my knees before my Master even as I tied the sash around my bodies waist. Into the position to accept honourable death. It was symbolic and overly theatrical yet it spoke loudly to the other students of our dojo, loud enough to focus them to appreciate point.

My master turned his back upon me by way of releasing me from his school, respecting me as his equal and more. I stood then sat beside quietly him on my knees as he turned to face the class, placing his closed fist into his open palm and bowing toward them, time-honored gesture of peace and dismissal.

The wind returned to the trees around us and held breathes were drawn once again. We had surpassed need for words and entered a space together appropriate for doing good work in the world at large, community work. Once the students had returned to their casual sparring my Master explained to me a situation in a local town for which I was now ready. My apprenticeship was over.

©2016 snakeappletree

Budo 1

I do not preach Buddhist doctrine.

This does not mean that I do not understand it and follow it. 

This does not mean I have not benefited from lifelong training in it as a perception, and understanding and a philosophy, a world view. This itself does not mean that I am incapable of also following and understanding other doctrines, and comparing them between each other, as well as exploring and discovering my own. People do not know the difference between Buddhism and Budo, the Japanese martial-buddhist philosophy which is less strict and more applied to the individuals personal life path and experiences than it is to shaving ones head and living the life of a monk. The aesthetic lifestyle of a Budo adept is not something which western television indoctrination is regularly educating the masses. For this I stand apart from most people, who would prefer to judge me on hearsay following a slander campaign, than on who and how I am myself. 

Most people regard that with suspicion because they have been prepped with lies as to how to regard me. Most people prefer to believe the false reputation, rather than integrate my own achievements as more valid than slander. For this reason I do have a detachment form the general social culture of my time. This being an outsider is for me a necessary part of the life I have lived and the understanding I have come to through much contemplation and many experiences outside of the ordinary, taking me into worlds and mentations which most people cannot access nor compute. 

Most people do not have wild animals approach them after weeks of purification by living far outside of the urban environment, culture and attitude, living harmoniously with nature. I know this to be a real experience although most urbanites doubt it and prefer to regard me as an attention seeking liar for even suggesting it. My rationale is that most urbanites cannot identify the truth, because they are themselves untrue of spirit. 

That is not my concern although it is a factor for which I have to factor into my relations with such people. I no longer feel frustration at their negativity and broken attitude, the unclarity of their minds (which in buddhist terms is called Sansara, the confused or conditioned mind). I do not feel responsible for educating them toward better ways, having long since come to know the hostility of their rejection of me as a teacher because it contradicts their assumptions and how they have been prepped by people who are hostile toward truth. Nevertheless I stand by truth as my sword, dueling with it only when I am compromised by dealing with muddy situations which have no clear resolution. 

That absolute purity by which one comes to know ones own spirit in harmony is something this society is engineered to delude us from easily achieving. Even while following spiritual traditions, and questioning those traditions while doing so to ensure their worth, as we must so as not to become brainwashed by a dogmatic system which no longer has relevance in this modern society. 

Throughout all of this, the quest for purity of intent, has led to an ego death which the game players reject out of hand as a myth. It is necessary to wear an ego rather than to be worn by it, so as to function in culture. It is necessary to be consumed by an ego to achieve any desire, such as the need for position, for financial stability. Not seeking these things, I am regarded with the same contempt as people have for degenerates, not realising that it is themselves who are the degenerates for such inhumane attitude toward somebody they cannot recognise as being blessed by more clarity of perception than themselves. Proving this to them is a challenge because not only do I not intend to associate with those sort of dirty game players but also because to reach them on a level they can understand is to speak either condescendingly or in non-spiritual terms about pointless things, thus muddying myself. 

My silence is regarded as ignorance by those more ignorant than I to not be able to recognise it as wisdom. And so I write, because then there is a record for wiser people who will yet come, to know me through my writings for who I truly am and how I truly feel about this lifetime with which I have been both blessed, and cursed. 

Should I write about my experiences, you will think it a fantasy. Should I write about my emotions, you will identify with it and enjoy my company awhile. This is the closest I can get to a normal human companionship. At times it is a source of deep sorrow. At times it is a source of relief, that I do not cohabit with those whom I find depressing and amusing depending on how receptive their mood may be; ultimately distracting me from my work. Should such a one exist, I have not discovered this lifetime, to date although at various times I have tried and been successful in becoming partnered, I have learned that where it does work it is always envious third parties who destroy it, and where it does not work, the preference of lonely solace.

Thursday 18 February 2016

Making Waves

Is observing repeatedly that when people have an Intent to prove their point, it creates a Wave and that other people get caught in that wave and it affects their behaviour. I do not know yet if there is a name for this thing but I am certain that in ancient times there probably was. Let me explain.

For you to prove your point, you need someone who you can use as a buffer, someone to get caught in your game, to act in a certain way, to prove that point. So you send out your desire to the universe and the universe sets a grid, and then happens along some person who is caught in the grid of your Attention game, and they act exactly in rhythm to how your Intent has programmed that grid to act.

For example; my mate wants to prove herself a healer, so she requires broken people to heal. Then, a string of broken people fall on her lap. The problem is, had she not originally decided to prove herself a healer, none of those people would have become broken in the first place. She claims the reward for being recognized as a healer with a necessary role in society and many people thank her for it.

But do you not see: had she not told the universe her intent to be that thing, there would have been no need for those people to have suffered in the first place. In a world where humans have divine power to manifest, and some realise it before the others, we have also a responsibility not to catch up everyone else in our wave, as we manifest our desire to be egotistical, non-human, face-value humanitarians.

It is a form of energy vampirism, an advanced form of it but nevertheless it is vampiric.

Does this make sense to any of you? That it works this way, when people use power of intent, and other people get entangled into that attention-grid. It changes other peoples behaviour and problem-reaction-solution the one who caused the problem by sending that thought out into the universe, is at face value the same one who everyone ends up seeing as the solution, and rewarding them for it with sending them positivity in gratitude.

Make the associations! 

fabricant era

"Redefinition of ourselves without work." Paul Mason

We cannot automate everything. This video is an example of the technocracy's dream: the only people who will have any power in a society of leisure, will be the machine-fixers, the coders. Common sense is that every member of the society will become machine-fixers and all machines will be fixable by any interchangeable person replacing parts or debugging software. In a society where there is no work for humans, we will no longer require to be using money. All needs will be provided for free. The objective is attainable, the interesting times through which we live are the between stages, the several lifetimes between where we are now, and achieving that objective. We are now living during the Transition. 

We must first replace the social shibboleths of the old world infrastructure; a need for governance. The further we develop into this culture the more we will realize that the elite caste are not the technocracy but are in fact the military police. Can we overcome the human caste divide by automating the police with robot police? Can you see where the dream of the technocracy is heading toward? Human enslavement to machine entities, AI devices. No wonder we require EMP devices to be available to secure Humanity as a free species, as the dominant species on the globe. Will it be the War against the machine tyranny which will finally unify all creeds of the human species? We have that to look forward to as a very real prospect because it inescapably goes hand in hand with the technocracies vision. 

Tuesday 16 February 2016

TimeCode Node Event 1616022016

Today we had an important Node Event as we measure syncretic Time.

24 hour Clock / Hour Minute Day Month Year

16.16 on 16.02.2016

16 16 16 02 20 16

=8+8 : 8+8 on 8+8 02 20 8+8

We have to wait for a year and a day for another one of those.

16 = 8x2 whereas next year;
17=1+7=8 This is why the cycle is numerically interesting, the same symbols repeat, in different places, doing different things.

It wasn't the same on 14.2nd @ 14.14 2014 (2+5=7) and
it wont be the same on 18th 2nd @ 18.18 2018 (2+9=11)
However, the 2015 and 2016 and 2017 trinity all interelate because they ripple in ring harmonics around todays Node. 
because the 2015 (2+6=8) and 2016 (2+2x8) and 2017 (2+8) numbers represent open and close of a vortex, that trusty old 8 in there; the one day in the middle of which is a powerful node.
These events are each a year and a day apart so there are also other Nodes on that odd day, half a year away. 

There is still some maths and some explaining to do.

See NSG (Number Sync Grid): A maths riddle posed here (see link) hinges on the 8; once having answered the question on the link, divide your answer by 2 and see what happens.

You begin to recognize visually, through the balance of number, the importance not only of mirroring the past and future or left and right sides of the central core (the moment ‘now’) but also how the numbers indicate significant trajectories through the ascending system we use of digit-digit : digit-digit measurable time on the 24 hour clock.

Numerology Codex

1 = direct path MERCURY
2 = polarityVENUS
3 = stability EARTH
4 = axis MARS
5 = diversity JUPITER
6 = exit from lower circuit SATURN
7 = key, ascent (through layers) URANUS
8 = infinity (perpetuation cycles) NEPTUNE
9 = freedom (from the cycle) PLUTO
0 = wholeness, completion PLANET X / SUN

I have included the solar systems planetary associations AS ARE (it used to be very different, back then we were using a different codex so the old assignments are irrelevant to this calendar).

I mentioned there is still some explaining to do.

Note that I am comparing 2 systems here;
first by splitting the Century digits into two so it can be overlaid on the 24 hour Clock digits XX:XX and
second by adding all of the Year digits into a single digit.

Hour Minute Day Month Year

4:4 6 = (13:13 on 13th 2nd 2013)
5:5 7 = (14:14 on 14th 2nd 2014)
6:6 8 = (15:15 on 15th 2nd 2015)
7:7 9 = (16:16 on 16th 2nd 2016)
8:8 10 (=1) = (17:17 on 17th 2nd 2017)
9:9 11 (=2) =  (18:18 on 18th of 2nd 2018)
10:10 12 (=3) = 19:19 on 19th 2nd 2019)

Q: Why is it significant that this is measured from 2nd month?
A: Because the second month is 02 and the year is 20XX.
That is the point by which we measure this balance, this trajectory.

To measure it from the 1st month and the 3rd month changes the trajectory.
1st month : 20XX =  01:20— = 3 (stability)
2nd month : 20XX = 02:20— = 4 (axis)
3rd month : 20XX =  03:20— = 5 (versatility)

We are measuring Vortex, windows which stream through and change their shape during their journey. We measure them at and from key significant points as measured on the TimeCode we call 24 hour clock of the 365 day year calendar system unique to planet Earth.

16.16 on 16.02.2016

= 7:7 on 7.2.27 OR 7.2.9 OR 9.9 (9+9=18=9)
(standard numerology system of adding all non-single numbers until they conform to between 1 and 9)

=8+8 : 8+8 on 8+8 . 02 . 20 8+8
(dualism/polarity system based on century and month indicators)

When you know that 8 = infinity and 2 = duality (and 9 = freedom) you have some serious concepts mirroring, balancing, opening and expanding from this particular precise number so far as trajectories measure vortex within the mathematical grid.

You probably do not think in this way about numbers. 
Multi-dimensionally, abstractly until you recognize the trajectories conforms to patterns.
Then we assign these Paths and Patterns to Events in our lives which occur simultaneously with them, the important Node Events. It is those which we are keeping track of.

Further Research

Auriglyphica (incomplete web version A and link to version B)
DIGIT and LEXIQ (software codex utilizing mirrored duality system)

Of further and related interest: WTF3


This post is less an afterthought from my blog on HeadCrash vs SnowCrash and more a lifelong frustration which I have never shared with people because people generally don't care enough about the impact it had on my life to give a shit.


At the age of Eight I sat in front of the console and I wondered why I was phasing in and out of perceptions, self-belief and ability. Some moments I stared at the screen, had focus and knew exactly what to type. Other moments, I was not sure what I was doing. I realised that I was sensitive to some type of unknown cause, resulting in my perceptions shifting wildly between self-belief and ability to do something such as code a computer, or the disbelief in myself. I contemplated the waves of beliefs coming through the wall from the classroom beyond, each individual persuading other individuals to share their perception and I saw this as colours in the air overlaid on the infrastructure like lava-lamps on a wireframe.

The teacher came out of the classroom and told me that the other kids had been telling her I was not coding, I was playing games. The teachers was disappointed in me because she thought I had conned her into allowing me to play computer games by pretending to be a computer whizz kid capable of coding.

I told her the truth; I had been hacking the games on the school computers floppy disk to learn how to put them together because there were things in them which I did not know how to do, an that this was possible only because I was good enough at coding to know how to do it. I did not intend to steal anyones copyright but the fact is that in BBC Basic there is simply one way to do things as sleekly as possible which works, which is the sensible optimal way to do it. My confusion was that the games on the school floppy disks were not coded that way; they were coded with lots of extra lines that made no sense and i was changing them to do it my way because I wanted to see if I was right in how I was thinking about this. So far my alterations had made no difference whatsoever to the gameplay. BBC’s were too basic to be able to tell if I had improved the processing speed and other considerations.

I did not explain any of the above very well because of the pressure the teacher was putting on to me to answer her question and the waves of suspicion she was projecting onto me that I was tricking her. I replied; ‘A bit of both but that is how it works.’ She interpreted this as guilt on my part and that was the last time I ever saw the school computer.

I had not got a chance to show her the three thousand plus lines of hand-written code I had been making into my notepads for my text-based adventure. I did not get a chance to show her the vdu games I had written already from my own code on disks that my grandad had given me, during the time I had been cramming in as much learning as possible on the days when I had stayed at his house across the river Severn in England during school holidays. I had showed some of the kids that, but their response was to get jealous and tell the teacher that I was doing nothing but playing games and so evidently she believed them that I was lying and had tricked her.

My reputation after that was one of being a clever liar with no actual skill in coding. Not only this but having waved the school computer under my nose and permitted me to code on it for a few sessions during break time before the other kids came in and took over what I was trying to do so they could play games on it, which I felt a social duty to allow them to do because computers were new back then and none of them had ever seen a BBC micro, the school had only just got one themselves.

My mother threw my notepads out because the school had a word with her that this whole coding thing was a scam, and that was the end of my career as a coder. When my dad brought an Amiga home several years later I started to learn the several programs which it was capable of running, only to discover that software security had tightened up a lot since then and that the actual books I needed to learn how to code in these more complicated languages were more expensive than my parents were wiling to purchase for my education.

Then the whole world outside the professional industries went over to PC’s. In a bookshop I had a look through the PC languages and came to realise that they were created by a psychopath. While there was a lot of logical application in them, for example using particular symbols to refer to particular functions, the arrangement of these was either haphazard or according to a very twisted perception which I did not enjoy forcing my mind into the shape of, because it was psychotic. I anticipated that perhaps the mind who generated this did not know it was creating a vortex channeling into a particular paradigm through which some psychopath operated; actually understanding this syntax caused psychopathy. An alternate format would be less psychotic but by then; the future of the industry was already sold on fast-practicality at the cost of humanity. As a child I had no way to express this instinctual awareness from the study of code; what I was saying would have sounded like crazy talk to the adults who I had stopped trusting already. Much later I learned that Bill Gates who had pioneered this particular code is investing millions of dollars into Agenda21 the depopulation of the planet, proving what I had said all along; that microsoft’s programming languages were created by a psychopath.

Nobody cares about my opinion so I went home and watched Tron yet again, wondering how different things could have been had I not been actively discouraged by the adults with my natural talent at software programming because they had already written me off as a clever liar and destroyed all evidence that I had ever written my own games in the first place. I tried to explain that the precision focus required to be a good coder is so concise that it is a very different way of thinking than lying, and why would I want to lie anyway? My interests are in being a coder. Words which fell on deaf ears. I learned very young that the reason I like coding is because it is something pure, and the adults of the past generation are far from pure because otherwise they would have been able to see where I was coming from and not spread lies about my objectives. That is how intelligent people are mistreated in Wales; with suspicion and then actively persecuted, their creativity destroyed by people with less sincerity.

So I was forced to study art instead of computers and therefore the industry standard Macs instead of dodgy-mentality of PC’s. Thirty years later and only now is a company starting to release a computer product (raspberry pi) designed to teach kids how to code from the same age which I had been coding, before personal computers even existed as a normality. I was lucky that my grandfathers job necessitated him to own one and be writing his algorithmic codes for the company for which he worked. I am still very aware that the organic structure of a child's mind, growing along the streamline of a software code's functional sincerity; is vulnerable to being corrupted toward amplifying that psychotic format which the PC codes create.

this album reminds me of mad professor studio techniques

Thursday 11 February 2016

A Drama Sketch

Reaching Out For That From Which We Are Trying To Escape

A commentary on millennial society, done of the ancient prose

©2016 snakeappletree

If ever there was needed a word for a concept, this would be it.
The following script is painfully extracted of a larger scene, 
for your scrutiny.
The title applies equally as well to so many other stories, and yet;
this humble offering more than suffices to express and suggest the most.


Her: “Nah, he’s a pain in the arse. I have to do this whole ‘immortal beloved’ act when we are together. He’s caught up in it too it’s a dogma from his family history. I was hoping to be able to break him out of it, neither of us really want to play that role we simply want to fuck like monkeys but cleansing someone spiritually at that depth before fucking and getting caught upon its grid is going to take a lot of work. So I might have to let him go. It will break him unless he can overcome the dogma which is what is causing him all the pain I found so attractive in him in the first place. What to do?”

Friend: “I will go and see what he has to say about it.”


Him: “She’s a bitch. She can see something in me that I cannot see in myself and I need her to help me by being honest and explaining it to me. Instead she looks way, cannot hold my eye which is why I am losing trust of her, it feels like she has strong instincts to move on, that she is looking for someone else, I am not who she is meant for.”

Friend: “Meant for? You believe in all that? And that you do not have your own free will? I never had you down for a fatalist.”

Him: “She represents freedom from the invisible chains which earth me. That is why I find her so attractive. She thinks I am going to chain her too. She knows that she needs the stability of it. When we fuck and I earth her and she sets me free, it’s a really good balance between us. But it is neither of our natures to keep that balance for long before we revert to ourselves. We need each other when we are apart. It’s a question of for how long can we stay apart before the pain of needing each other calls us back and we end up fucking for security again, compared with making the decision to jump and free ourselves of each other and move on. Before it becomes too painful and makes too much of a mess.”
Friend: “I will go and see what she has to say about it.”


Her: “It has all got confusing. I should never have spoken with our friend about it, keeping our secret private life to ourselves would have been better. Do you think we can repair the rift we caused by mixing somebody else' attention into our private relationship?”

Him: “I found that it helped talking about us with somebody else. I was able to say things that I needed to say to get a clear view of it, but which had to be said in such a way that I do not know how to say it to you without causing confusion. Does that make sense?”

Her: “That makes perfect sense, it is exactly the same for me also. Talking about us helps but I did not want to hurt you.”

Him: “So should we move on or are we strong enough to tell each other now we have had a practice at it with someone else?”

Her: “Finding the right words. Well I am afraid of devoting myself to you entirely although another part of me wants nothing else but to be yours forever.”

Him: “It is exactly the same for me also. Deciding to sacrifice all of the alternate possible futures that might happen, because…”

Her: “Because we want each other so much that none of that would be as good nor as real anyway.”

Him: “That is exactly how it is.”

Her: “For both of us.”


Friend: "And so it seems my role to take the center stage, for a moment while the lovers are away to attend their desire. By breaking our fourth wall I re-present to you our tale of liberation from a grid; projected upon the world by all those whose ancestral minds control their living feelings. We together learn that Love's true path can flow through every heavy heart; to bring about unveiling. This rite we call un-viling. Let it be a guide for all, lest dogma reign. This said; a curtain call, hides sunlight behind rain. I bid you to the good night, smiling." 



Is completely unnecessary, and yet it proves the point, is fundamental to the tale;
But only if you look at it from one certain way

Her: "No no! I changed him, I took away his masculinity, I took away his inner-anxiety and now he is as I was, free! But what of me?"

Him: "I assure you love that everything is stable. Here, we are together, you need not search for we are wed as nature intended. Am I still not enough for you? And gods i hope to be!"

Her: "Your words are meaningless and pathetic! Your ego need had caught me on your spike. I would be better free!"

Him: "But what of love? What of our sharing the pleasure we both sought? What of our future that we may repeat our blessing infinitely?"

Her: "But what of freedom and the world? I need both, you see; a steady perch and wings to fly, I need to feel free."

Him: "How can it be my own fault that to chase a star I fall, to offer everything she asks, is still not enough to sate a womans heart? Is it my inadequacy or her greed which ruins the day?"

Friend: "Ah my friends, with welcome marriage You find me, I was about to call the night. And now it seems once more I must set things to right."

Her: "Put down your mask, friend if that be what you are. With sun on one half your face and the other night, I cannot tell you apart!"

Him: "But that is his purpose, you called yourself to bring him here between us as a glue, has become a wedge for playing on fears."

Her: "Is this true?"

Him: "Would you believe in me?"

Her: "I do!"

Friend: "Then I must have you both, presenting as I do the decisive line, I am the world and all its complex distractions to stray you from your love!"

Her: "I age! And with it pain."

Him: "Come safe within my wing, before we ruin everything!"

Her: "No! You are as bad as him!" 

Friend: "It is too late. The fourth wall has been broke and now the world has been let in."

Him: "Some friend you are! Look what you have done!" 

Her: "And now I see the truth you hid from me! You are not the one!"

Friend: "I offer everything."

Her: "Everything but him!"

Him: "Without you both, I will be the strongest of us all!"

Her: "You will fade into time as a distant memory." 

Him: "Your hate for me, yet passion only moments ago in whose breathe we are both still fresh."

Friend: "And will be for all of time, a love so pure and strong cannot be broke, and this I test."

Her: "You test me to destruction, fiend! No friend of mine are you!"

Friend: "From lovers to anothers arms so soon, take note, it's true."

Him: "Be gone, fiend. And you! Return to me that we may taste the freedom we alone know."

Friend: "Tis true, your freedom is a thing I cannot know, and seek myself to find."

Him: "Surely since you are everything, that freedom is within you?"

Her: "He is not everything, for he is not you."

Him: "Then we have passed the test."

Friend: "You have. Now rest. For night comes late today."

Her: "And so too the dawn."

Him: "And so too the dawn. Away!"


Friend: "Can you believe the petty drama of the roles we play? So many times, so many guises, all our hearts to know or stray. And so you drink the dogma now yourselves, having let into the dance of something pure, tangled it and dirtied it for sure, as the years ahead will show, whether those two make it as a couple wed, or no. Drinking this I ask you, are we still ahead of time, or hath the ancient  dogma caught into your hearts sublime?"


Wednesday 10 February 2016

Art And Divinity

What I Did With A Fine Art Honours Degree

I understood one day, that the things toward which I aspired to be, which I struggled so hard over; other people were doing it so much better than I could achieve, so much more fluidly and naturally, that I was trying to be the wrong thing, something I wasn’t and instead it would be much healthier for me simply to be myself. So I quit doing all of the wrong things. I gave up making art under the hope that the pressure to make art I had inherited from my fathers influence would leave me. It did not.That pressure is a constant thing, a drive which I cannot ever seem to satisfy. It hurts. The beatings I got for not confirming to his desire that I be Van Gogh to his Da Vinci in later years i came to terms with that it was childhood abuse, that he was psychotic and i was his victim. This understanding did not get rid of the inner tension. I cannot paint without feeling a wall of pain. I cannot make art without feeling...

...and in a higher plane I would be writing the words, immune to all of that, the aspiration which he projected upon me. Instead I am honest, the more accurate word is blocked up and stifled, there is for me no liberation in making art, only disappointment that it does not turn out not better than it is.

Only the process of … it feels like moving my arms through glass, shapes and patterns with the bones between my elbow and wrist, amplifying this energy, the creativity, not through my and to me and into the canvas but deflected directed away, syphoned and pouring into him, drank up by my father. The greatness of leaving wonderful imagery in the world after my death as a gift to the world, as an attempt toward history longevity, a sign of my passing through life; this bullshit is irrelevant, my truing as a shaman taught me to detach. I understood why the successful transmigrant Egyptian kings had their own faces chiselled away from the carvings on walls, it was to protect their passing and free themselves from attachments to the past.

Painting is old, a stifling musty link between the fluidity of an evolving self later in time, pinpointed to a moment, a portal through which observers may syphon that creative energy. It is not a gift to the world from my soul but a method by which others can tap into us and drink us. I learned this thankfully before I had made too many works of visual art. What happened to the ones I did create? Stolen if they are any good, I did not receive fair investment for them, nobody paid me to be an artist I did not make a living from it. My creativity was stolen by those who would drink my lifeblood if they could. I chose to avoid that entire circuit of people. My fathers bitter envy of a talent i did not genuinely possess, projected onto me and my fathers distaste for my life choice not to create art, which to me seemed pointless. There is one other thing; one other reason I chose not to make art.

I could not afford to pay a model. No sexy female agreed to pose for me, when I asked they heard instead of a request to pose for study painting, the words ‘I want to have sex with you but am a liar so I am trying to trick you by this device’. I lost prestige over it, and offering to pay they thought I accused them of prostitution. So I made up imagery from imagination instead of study observation. And when you tap into imagination, strange things happen. For one, imagination is not fantasy and make-belief. It is a way to access that which is real on other planes. I made some paper mach dolls and for three years myself and a friend went through a series of adventures involving people who looked identical to the paper mache dolls, people we did not know existed before the dolls were made. I made some drawings of characters in situations and then those situations manifested as lived events for myself and my friends. I showed wherever I could; the evidence to the people involved and they got very frightened because they could see of themselves the raw power of art to tap into the otherworld. I do not know if cause made effect or if effect made cause, whether linear time has anything to do with it in activating an event by making a picture or if merely that I was drawing something which would have occurred had i drawn it or not. The language offers the clue: we draw water from a well.

When art comes through an artist, that artist is drawing water from a well and others tap into it. However the vampires I cohabit this society with tap not the source, they have no ability to do that. Instead they tap the artist who is channeling the source through attunement to it, and happens to record a symbol of that well onto a canvas. I do not want to be tapped, I have barely sufficient energy for myself.

I studied Primitivism in university and from that an interest in shamanism, discovering for what use the African effigies were put originally before they ended up in European art galleries exhibited not as tools but as ornaments, inspiring early 20th century art movements and philosophies. I engrossed myself in that but underlaying all of it, I became a spiritist. Then the same vampires who had stolen my work and forced me to paint against my instincts, decided that a clairaudient medium is technically ‘hearing voices’ and so I was misdiagnosed as schizophrenic. I do have post traumatic stress disorder, yes but I am not schizophrenic. The misdiagnosis fits the model of reality projected onto me by my father that I am Van Gogh to his Da Vinci and the more I complain against it, the more those complaints are twisted into being evidence of a schizotypal disorder; for how dare I disagree with his ego and control game?

So I disowned my family and attempted to have a reassessment. No mental health worker can agree to help me because they are afraid they might lose their jobs over it. These are people more interested in money and personal gain than in truth and reality. Not one of them has a spiritual bone in their body although they do hide behind the face value mask of calling themselves christians. I ask them to live by the teachings of christ and they fail, they describe themselves then as church rather than christian. I am so gratefully pagan to be able to see reality for what it is instead of having to see through the eyes of those who cannot connect with the divine flow of the creative source.

And now when I do, I do so through words instead of pictures for although they say that a picture tells a thousand words, there is a safety valve. These are my words inside your mind, and I am free from that connection because I am controlling your mind, not the other way around. With a visual picture on canvas, I am being stared at and looked through with no way to protect myself. You can see the difference clearly. In truth it is not quite so clear-cut a difference for all gates are two-way gates. Yet I find more personal safety in writing because of the dedication it takes on your part as reader, the focus you are using to read this and make sense of the meaning here; I am harnessing that focus for myself and using it to sustain myself. Do not be afraid that I am writing this way, be grateful for a lesson in how all things work.

All things from the food you eat energizing the grower or the shop from whom you bought it, to the clothes that you wear who vibrate energetically to the vibration of whatever deity your clothes conform to. This is what it is to live as a slave, self-aware and aware of the jungle of energies around us. We are no longer the primal savage, free in itself to exist with liberty. We are tamed by contracts done in ancient times by our ancestors whose dealings with the external macrocosm and the many demons which sustain it, have made the world the way it is. Every brick of the dwelling you inhabit, inhibits your flow. There is no freedom in the material density of time-mass. There is freedom only when we personally connect within to the divine flow of creation. And for me this is words rather than paint. For you, I hope that you find your own way and that you are not inhibited by the vampires who drink your energy through your arts.

There is a fundamental important secret here: I give this information to you for free, and in doing so, both of us are free of any energy tithe between us, because no leech-demons of trade are invoked. Were I to use commerce to share this information, we would all pay toward that deity and there would be muddied complexity between us. Know this is why old books and paintings fade to yellow with age; it is not age measured in time but by how much they have been drained of their life. You might want to contemplate why true artists starve in garrets while wealthy artists have material plenty but very little other than accumulated skill to cover the lack of their own divinity.