Saturday 29 October 2022


“You are a good person aren’t you? What’s with the name? SnakeAppletree the garden of Eden I get. Who is the snake? You? Satan? Lucifer? The light bringer? The villain or the hero. Interested in your POV”  

retromunda BullGorg @walter 

“Ask and thou shall know.”

An Egyptian scribe wrote my name in hieroglyphs. 

Snake = J

Apple / Heart = O

Tree / Feather / Knife = E 

I used it as a stage-name for my music gigs for awhile and then as my internet name. 

As for the story of the garden of Eden, can’t you remember being there? 

It’s a mythology which Christianity took from Egypt, stellae from 5000BC tell the same story. For the Egyptians it was an ished tree (compare djed pillar). I believe they got it from a much earlier source. 

In the Egyptian version there is a cat wielding a feather/blade, it cuts the snake who’s blood/heart/apple/seed falls to the ground in one version the tree grows from that, in another it takes place in the tree. 

It compares with Norse mythology of Wodan sacrificing himself self-knowledge, there’s a world serpent in that too. Aboriginal peoples all over the world mention about it.

Snake is a symbol for that-we-fear but also universally in shamanism it is a symbol for healing. It’s similar to the zig-zag symbol for fire/water/journey/sound-wave. 

The Devil is a more modern invention. After the Norman conquest of Britain in 1066 the concept of d’evil (the evil) and god (the good) which are represented not as external things but as our own drives and actions and how they affect the community. It’s a very basic religion for uneducated medieval peasants. 

Lucifer is a word which got translated wrong from Hebrew. It literally means ‘the most beautiful light’ there is no moral bias there. 

The word for ‘cast out’ in modern times we interpret expelled like as if comparable to a Twitter ban. Originally it was talking about when a farmer sows seeds he casts out the seeds into the field. The Hebrew word for sowing seeds. 

“The most brilliant light was sown from heaven (the source of life).” 

Modern version of the garden of Eden story is a parallel to that, an echo of it.

Illuminati = illuminated ones. Knowledgable ones. 

The Egyptian symbol for feather means enlightened. Light. 

There are two interpretations and both are accurate: 

someone aware, wise, it’s why the priesthood associated with feathers, Thoth (later known ad Hermes) the scribe. 

light. Have you heard of the Baghdad battery? The ancients had electricity. 

Atlantean civilisation. There was a rebellion against technology, it all got smashed because the path of technology led to a terrible war. Something like what Islamic extremists are doing, and how Amish choose to live. 

The Indian holy books and the Assyrian clay tablets both talk about the nuclear war 8000 years ago. The whole world went back to the dark ages. 

It has taken us a long time to put the information together again. There is evidence, it takes a lot of research. They don’t teach it in schools. 

Michael Tellinger is a good place to start researching.

The Devil in the New Testament occurs in the chapters Matthew Mark Luke John. Carbon dating of the Sinai Bible reveal it was made around 400ad (after Rome left Britain) but those chapters were made in the 1600s, they’re forgeries. They form the foundation of modern Christianity because they back each other up by telling the same events. While all the rest is mostly ignored by modern Christianity. 

The story they tell is of Mithra, an Assyrian holy man from 5000BC and perhaps even older. Assyria is modern Syria, which the West recently bombed and which Al Qaeda recently bombed. A lot of archeological evidence was destroyed. 

It’s one of the oldest inhabited places which is still inhabited now (Damascus is the oldest, from where we got the Law of Dharma ‘everything in its right place’).

Lecture ends. 

Thanks for showing an interest in this stuff :)

Thursday 27 October 2022

Gods Work

12 Angry Men. A must-see movie. 


A Holy Man, an Atheist and a Con Man walked into a Court De Jure… 

Spiritual Hierarchies 

Spirituality = me, direct connection through intuition, god

Monarchy = me, monarch’s agents, monarch, god

Religion = me, agents of figurehead, figurehead, god

Analysis: Monarchy system is a Religion *

The Challenge of Authority 

Me: “What is closer to God? My intuition or the agents of the figurehead?” 

God: “Intuition is closer to God than agents of the figurehead.”

Agents: “We serve God.”

Me: “Then you must serve my intuition.”

Agents: “We are not agents of your intuition. We are agents of figurehead.” 

Me: “Then you are not God.” 

I accept this rationale as correct method to assess the righteousness that God has told me my intuition is closer to God than are the agents of figurehead. 

Me: “What is closer to god? My intuition or the figurehead?” 

God: “Intuition is closer to God than the figurehead.”

Figurehead: “I represent God.”

Me: “But you are not God.”

Figurehead: “I have spoken.“

Me: “To re-present a thing is to assume supremacy over that thing by re-shaping it into your own image. You challenge God.”

Agent of Figurehead: “Figurehead has spoken.” 

Me: “Hey God, is re-presentation closer to God or is God closer to God?” 

God: “Do you seriously expect me to answer that?” 


Sidestepping the Equation 

Atheist: “There is no such thing as God.”

God: “I exist.”

Me: “There is no such thing as the re-presentation of God.”

Agents of Figurehead: “Yes there is.”

Me: “Atheists are not talking about God, they are talking about re-presentation of God. Whatever God is to them is a representation of God.”

God: “I am everything.”

Me: “Nobody is helping bring clarity to this matter. Not even you, God.” 

God: “Intuition is the direct connection with God.”

Atheists: “We have intuition.” 

Me: “Intuition without God?”

Atheists: “There is no such thing as God.”

Me: “Repetition does not re-create Truth.” 

Atheists: “We create Truth in our image.” 

Me: “This godless path does not attain clarity.” 

Atheists: “We know.”

Me: “Figureheads are closer to Atheists than to God. Both re-create Gods Creation.”

Agents of Figurehead: “That is our purpose.” 

Atheists: “God does not exist.”

Artists: “So where do we fit? What are we?” 

Me: “From where does your art derive?”

Artists: “Intuition.”

Next up: Where does Power come from? 

* analysis based on incomplete data. There is more which has not been factored into the simplest-case-scenario form of analysis outlined here. Please refer to The Quest for Relevance

Wednesday 26 October 2022


A T-Rex came fast through the forest and ate me. 

I did not feel pain of tooth and claw, of being eaten alive, until it was too late. 

I was too absorbed in what I was doing, too busy eating delicious leafs from the ginko tree to listen to the voices I could hear, to listen to my brother and parents screaming with panic, screaming to alert me to the danger. I had detached from the happy family herd heart to go greedily for that delicious mouth full of food I so needed to be complete. Animal drives consumed me. 

The pain woke me up tremendously. 

I remember the gratitude and self-satisfied glee of my brother feeling himself superior because he had purposefully led me against my intuition to position me between himself and the dangerous rocks around which the T-Rex was seen earlier. 

I remember sadness of my parents, the detachment of the fathers heart while a shared mental awareness continued, to have faith and trust in the manifestation of life regardless of whatever occurred. I was in awe of his slow but lucid mind increasingly aware of a higher thing occurring, affecting our experience, than we had any ability to communicate about. I understood how he hoped I would not let go of that same trust because the horror of being so brutally killed and eaten. 

Shutting off the mental-emotional connection from my father was followed by the detachment of my mother as my parents protected themselves from being hurt as bad as they had been the first time. I did not know if that meant an elder sibling I never knew, or the last time we went around in this cycle repeating almost exactly the same experience. 

“Another one gone.” 

Nobody protected me because nobody could. The T-rex was too ferocious and frightening. 

The Watchers spoke directly to me about how even the monster serves its purpose. The brutality will eventually end. Only if we awaken, which has to happen individually. It is through the pain we begin to attain consciousness. I realise the Watchers voices had been talking constantly but I had been ignoring them all along because I had not developed any awareness to listen to them clearly, to hear the message of what they were saying while simultaneously frolicking about my activities. My mind was too fuzzy, not sharp. The pain made it sharp. 

The spirit voices, the Watchers, were talking about how ‘we’ are trying to get the dinosaur consciousnesses to evolve. It is not only the physical but the mental-emotional also. That comes later. By ‘we’ they meant themselves, they meant all of us myself included. 

Then I was being born again into another body. There was love again, almost immediately. I had no concept of passage of time. The new bodies were descendants of the first family, of those who had survived. We were smaller and faster. We had adapted to survive against the T-Rex. We hunted its eggs, eating it into extinction just as it had eaten the quadrupedal herbivores into extinction. 

The Watchers voices were less clear now because we were sharpening our own focus to grow away from the need for them to become so directly involved in guiding us. Taking responsibility for ourselves, individually, collectively, connected through feeling shared emotions and by shared thoughts with each other enough to strategise about how to survive best, how to change the world to suit us. This connectedness told us what we had to do. 

These are my earliest memories. Before that are vague feelings from being a fish with no real sense of self-awareness. 

From revelation across these many evolutions do I know what I do in this life will effect the outcome of what I become in the next life. 

Saturday 22 October 2022


I want you to read this which I got from the internet after being directed there from accidentally encountering its author while networking with other writers.

No infringement of copyright is intended whatsoever. 

Original author has been fully accredited

Use of the material is non-profit for educational purposes under International Fair Use Policy. 

“This is my favorite part, the mental torture. She can’t see me, she doesn’t know I’m watching, and that is what makes it so delicious. She doesn’t know anything! I took her in the parking garage, it was easy. Chloroform over her mouth and I dumped her in my van. She woke up in this room, her mouth gagged so she can’t scream. Not that anyone could hear her, not where I have taken her, but that’s half the fun. She can’t move, and she’s alone with her thoughts. I intentionally ripped her shirt a bit, just to make her wonder. If I was going to rape her, I would have completely removed the clothing right? Maybe it ripping was just an accident…. It wasn’t but these are the things she will think about. Her mind is a far more effective tool to break her than anything I could show her. Panic will set in, and she will do it all to herself, before I ever step foot into the room. But once I do, she will quickly realize, nothing she had ever thought of will compare to what I intend to do.”

It has a powerful effect, right?

You empathise with the victim in the story who is going through the process of having their mind broken through their experience. 

What that must feel like. 

You would describe it as torture, right? 

Now let us deconstruct it but change a few things to explain what it is I am talking about. 

“This is my favorite part, the mental torture. He can’t see me, although he knows I am watching through the cctv. That is what makes it so delicious. I took him in the parking garage, it was easy. Handcuffs binding his wrists before I dumped him in a cage in the back of the van. He is alone in a cell. Nobody responded to his shouting so he has given up. He is alone with his thoughts. I intentionally removed his shoes and belt, some other of his clothing. This is one of the things he will think about. His mind is a far more effective tool to break him than anything I could show him. Panic will set in, and he will do it all to himself, before I ever step foot into the room. But once I do, he will quickly realize, nothing he had ever thought of will compare to what I intend to do.” 

This is a description of a man being arrested and waiting to go into an interrogation in a police interview room. 

It has a powerful effect, right?

You empathise with the victim in the story who is going through the process of having their mind broken through their experience. 

What that must feel like. 

You would describe it as torture, right? 

The Session has not even yet began. 


Somebody posted a slideshow which caught my attention 

to a Narcissism Recovery group on Instagram. 

I have copied it here. 

The pale yellow squares containing questions. 

This is practically the same check-list my ex had me go through with her. 

I’ve literally done this test and answered these questions. 

Here’s what I said:

1 I like you enough to want to make sure you’re okay. 

   Love is a huge topic we can dedicate our lives to exploring together in a best possible outcome scenario. 

2 Yes, I enjoy looking at you. 

   Would you have it any other way? 

   Do you ask because you want me to suggest changes?

   For example I prefer no make-up to make-up.  

3 We can grow together if we make the effort, 

   it involves changing in ways we trust each other to guide us 

   to become whatever each other require of each other.  

   Which is all about communication. 

4 Trust is built over time through shared experiences. 

   So, let’s share some more experiences. 

   Trusting our intuition is our direct connection to the divine. 

   My intuition tells me to gently lower my natural defensive boundaries over time 

   as we develop our trust for each other together. 

   I’m happy and willing to do that. 

5 I am only yours as much as you are only mine. 

   We both have children by other people.

   Our children but not the other parent should be our priority.  

   We’re in this together and it should not be a slavery for either of us, 

   even if we play with sub-Dom dynamics which inevitably appear in any relationship, 

   the foundation of that is equality of belonging with each other. 

6 I hope neither of us will cheat on the other. 

   We’re both as likely to be faced with temptations to test us. 

   Would it destroy what we have built if one of us did cheat? 

   Or are we strong enough to laugh about it and carry on positively with love? 

   I don’t want to cheat on you, if that’s what you mean by asking. 

   I certainly don’t plan to. 

7 No one person can satisfy 100% of the needs of another person. 

   It’s realistic to be realistic about it. 

   We are in this together and learning from each other. 

   Nobody is perfect all the time and that’s an impossible expectation to hold someone to. 

   Because we’re humans. 

   A normal relationship need for anyone is to support and be supported by loved ones, 

   by trying to understand what they’re going through and work to uplift them if necessary. 

   Is it likely to get so severe it’s more than we can handle? 

The answer is that it did. She is professionally diagnosed with histrionic narcissism after her ex before me had her checked out regarded endangerment to her child and other people. I can verify the accuracy of the diagnosis despite my not wanting to believe it for a long time before her mask slipped. When I confronted her about it she ripped it off completely and never made any pretence again. Hashtag Hostility. 

Which illustrates the sort of person who does ask their partner these sorts of questions on a second date over a bottle of wine which is her thing. 

She asked these questions as a 'getting to know each other session' under the guise of "building some strong relationship bonds with hope to a happy future together" (her words). 

8 Eligible for me?  

   If we fulfil each other’s relationship needs we will be eligible.

   It seems a strange way to express that although it’s direct and focussed. 

   Are you sure it’s the right word? 

   It invokes a lot of nuances. 

   What are the criteria for eligibility? 

   I’ll tell you yours if you tell me mine. 

   People pair up and bond for mutual emotional, mental and physical support. 

Friday 21 October 2022

Coffee Card

Hey Jane, I found the coffee-shop gift card you kindly gave me last Xmas. 

Thank you. 

It was generous and thoughtful especially as it is my favourite coffee store and also because we hardly at all know each other. 

I felt obliged to get you a gift in return. In the usual Xmas hype what I gave you was a bit crap and I felt bad about it. 

It was from a pile of items I stockpiled for my son, nephews and nieces, extended family and friends kids. 

So, belated as this is, as I sit and enjoy a cappuccino, the best I can offer by way of a more worthy present is a story. 

I write and have had some stuff published so there's a skilled trade involved. 

It's not the best story. It might not even be a good story. But it is a true story; which always counts for a lot simply because truth has a lot of value in the good world.

In this case it's our story, which also counts for something. 

This is the story of how over-familiarity can affect people in unintentional ways, and also how that is not always such a bad thing. 

"Who is Jane?" asked my ex-partner. 

"I don't know." I rattled my brain for an answer. It was morning, I had not yet had my habitual caffeine fix to wake me up into a functional state. "My sons cousin is called Jane." I suggested. "She's twelve." 

"Why would a child have sent you this?" insisted my ex. 

"I don't know. What is it?" I asked nonplussed. 

"Its a Christmas card signed Love Jane kiss kiss kiss. That's a little intimate for someone you don't even know who she is." 

"Let me see?"

She threw an envelope at me the way a ninja throws a throwing star. 

"I very much doubt a twelve year old would be buying you coffee vouchers." she added as I read the Christmas card. 

"Oh, it's my neighbour Jane who recently moved in. Perhaps she's being friendly, what with it being Christmas and her working in customer relations she's probably all fired up with goodwill and seasonal cheer." 

"Three kisses? Love? What's going on?" 

"You're jealous because a neighbour who I hardly know gave me a Christmas card?" 

"She gave you a coffee gift voucher. It's excessive." 

"Well that's subjective. She works in a coffee-shop. She probably has loads of them. It's no big deal."

"No big deal? She obviously thinks she stands a chance with you. She knows I stayed last night because my car is parked outside. She timed this perfectly." 

"Babe, honestly it's nothing. You're reading into it. Please don't get so wound up about it." 

"Well she is clearly a narcissist to be pushing my buttons like this. Don't you see you're getting used?" 

"I see you're upset about something which someone else has done that's not really anything to do with either of us. She probably gave one of these to everybody on the street for all we know." 

"How well do you know her?"

"We've spoken socially-polite niceties twice perhaps three times? She's recently moved in next door so understandably she's paid lip-service to finding out who her neighbours are. One time she told me she works in a coffee-shop because I asked her." 

My ex did not drop the topic until new year by which time it was clear her obsession over my new neighbour was massively interfering with our ability to sustain a functional relationship. 

By January I was single again after a fifteen month relationship. The break-up was largely on the basis my ex is a histrionic narcissist. 

Sitting here eight months later, drinking a coffee from the voucher which finally I no longer associate with pressure, guilt and abusive controlling behaviour. 

I contemplate the massive favour my neighbour did by helping, albeit unintentionally, by getting my ex off my back. 

The gift of freedom is priceless. 

The gift of gratitude perhaps less so but nevertheless it is sincere. 

Thank you for coffee.