Coffee Card

Hey Jane, I found the coffee-shop gift card you kindly gave me last Xmas. 

Thank you. 

It was generous and thoughtful especially as it is my favourite coffee store and also because we hardly at all know each other. 

I felt obliged to get you a gift in return. In the usual Xmas hype what I gave you was a bit crap and I felt bad about it. 

It was from a pile of items I stockpiled for my son, nephews and nieces, extended family and friends kids. 

So, belated as this is, as I sit and enjoy a cappuccino, the best I can offer by way of a more worthy present is a story. 

I write and have had some stuff published so there's a skilled trade involved. 

It's not the best story. It might not even be a good story. But it is a true story; which always counts for a lot simply because truth has a lot of value in the good world.

In this case it's our story, which also counts for something. 

This is the story of how over-familiarity can affect people in unintentional ways, and also how that is not always such a bad thing. 

"Who is Jane?" asked my ex-partner. 

"I don't know." I rattled my brain for an answer. It was morning, I had not yet had my habitual caffeine fix to wake me up into a functional state. "My sons cousin is called Jane." I suggested. "She's twelve." 

"Why would a child have sent you this?" insisted my ex. 

"I don't know. What is it?" I asked nonplussed. 

"Its a Christmas card signed Love Jane kiss kiss kiss. That's a little intimate for someone you don't even know who she is." 

"Let me see?"

She threw an envelope at me the way a ninja throws a throwing star. 

"I very much doubt a twelve year old would be buying you coffee vouchers." she added as I read the Christmas card. 

"Oh, it's my neighbour Jane who recently moved in. Perhaps she's being friendly, what with it being Christmas and her working in customer relations she's probably all fired up with goodwill and seasonal cheer." 

"Three kisses? Love? What's going on?" 

"You're jealous because a neighbour who I hardly know gave me a Christmas card?" 

"She gave you a coffee gift voucher. It's excessive." 

"Well that's subjective. She works in a coffee-shop. She probably has loads of them. It's no big deal."

"No big deal? She obviously thinks she stands a chance with you. She knows I stayed last night because my car is parked outside. She timed this perfectly." 

"Babe, honestly it's nothing. You're reading into it. Please don't get so wound up about it." 

"Well she is clearly a narcissist to be pushing my buttons like this. Don't you see you're getting used?" 

"I see you're upset about something which someone else has done that's not really anything to do with either of us. She probably gave one of these to everybody on the street for all we know." 

"How well do you know her?"

"We've spoken socially-polite niceties twice perhaps three times? She's recently moved in next door so understandably she's paid lip-service to finding out who her neighbours are. One time she told me she works in a coffee-shop because I asked her." 

My ex did not drop the topic until new year by which time it was clear her obsession over my new neighbour was massively interfering with our ability to sustain a functional relationship. 

By January I was single again after a fifteen month relationship. The break-up was largely on the basis my ex is a histrionic narcissist. 

Sitting here eight months later, drinking a coffee from the voucher which finally I no longer associate with pressure, guilt and abusive controlling behaviour. 

I contemplate the massive favour my neighbour did by helping, albeit unintentionally, by getting my ex off my back. 

The gift of freedom is priceless. 

The gift of gratitude perhaps less so but nevertheless it is sincere. 

Thank you for coffee.

narcissism cult

narcissism cult


Internet cult of narcissism is the 5th Wave feminism designed to segregate and control by persecuting males. It relies on triggering and embedding paranoid fear responses in females towards males. Remember, humanity and evolution is about communication, comprehension and integration!


Less than basic qualification level psychology training is imprinted onto the masses who re-affirm the paradigm by finding common frame of reference through it. A system to analyze behaviors which so few people question is corrupt and designed to create the results intended by an agenda.

A pattern is presented. Analyze the behavior of the people who you are closest with. Identify whether it conforms to the pattern.

The pattern in it self is inaccurate. Therefore it’s analysis is not correct. People behaving accordingly, are enacting routines of destruction, both their own and the closest ones.

Leverage. Where peoples behaviour does not conform to the pattern, to fake it as excuse to react as if it does, creates ongoing cognitive bias, is symptomatic of narcissism [in this context], is manipulation and fabrication. Re-interpretation the observed to conform it to pattern instead of accepting the original intent which does not conform to pattern.

The outcome is used to justify the abusive behaviour. The justification of non-accountability is relied on as it to excuse the perpetrators behavior. By imposing a non-accurate pattern into a situation, just to instil a sensation of control and describe it as empowerment, where the same behaviour outside of the filter of the cults pattern, is abuse.

Females are being targeted, men are being alienated. A part of the corruption embedded into the pattern is any male who attempts to explain all of this to a female, is through the eyes of the pattern, perceived as an abuser. How are males supposed to protect their loved ones when the form that protection takes in their manipulated and brainwashed perceptions, is interpreted as an act of abuse?

Changing The Goalposts

google dictionary

Dictionary definition of the word delusional. It means two things. It means confused and it also means purposefully being manipulative. In general in society we all use it to mean the first of these. It is equally as valid to knowingly use the other meaning. A person who is a trickster, is delusional. A person who has been tricked and operating on a false premise, is delusional. The both are delusional, although the incentive is different in each case.

From my experience with this, it has become apparent that people with a cognitive disability or other form of mental impairment react in one of two ways when accused of being delusional. There are two stages in both cases. In both cases, the first stage is to react with hostility. If a person is consciously tricking other people, they will then attack as their second stage. A confident and adept manipulator will often use another person who they have deluded already, to do the attack. This is called proxy. In the case of the delusional person not realising they have been tricked, their second stage is to re-evaluate the situation. Both of these must be compared to a person who if accused of being delusional, does not attack because they are not delusional.

In modern jargon, the second type; the tricked (as opposed to trickster) is known as a flying monkey, from the movie the Wizard of Oz.

The attack of a trickster is likely, within the framework of contemporary culture, to be an allegation that the person exposing their manipulation, is bullying them.

The narcissist will play the victim role in attempt to convince and recruit onlookers (flying monkeys) that they are innocent and that their narrative is the accurate version of events. It creates a smokescreen, disempowering the person exposing them from being able to do so.

The only successful way of dealing with the situation is to detach and take neither side. Although there is no need for sides because this division plays into the hands of the trickster and their paradigm instead of maintaining objective clarity to see the situation as a whole for what it is. Only by stepping back from the situation to analyse it from both points of view can the observer remain positive and non-biased. An objective person hears all sides and questions all, to positively determine equity.

So we have here a problem that the trickster is either recruiting new flying monkeys to protect them and to persecute those who would expose them, or that nobody wants to get involved, has the effect of isolating whoever is exposing the trickster. In either case, the trickster has won their game. This is not to say the exposer wants to play any games.

For the purpose of being able to step back and analyse a situation for what it is, without being drawn into taking sides, it has become necessary to develop a simple framework to help with analysis.

For the purpose of being able to step back and analyse a situation for what it is, without being drawn into taking sides, it has become necessary to develop a simple framework to help with analysis.

The following blueprint has only six steps, which outlines a strategy. Many variants exist. We are calling this The Llanelli Strategy although it is also called “Changing the Goalposts”

1 Establish situation.
2 Agreement. An accord.
3 Second party acts on that accord.
4 First party removes and/or changes the accord. This has the effect of changing the context of 3 the actions.
5 Second party has a human reaction of the ground being whisked out from under their feet and is destabilised.
6 Having been manipulated, second party is now socially persecuted both for having been duped ergo inferior and/or for behaving (see 3) in the wrong way in accordance with the framework of the new context. That the second party has not agreed to the new accord is irrelevant to those who are in agreement with it (flying monkeys).

I have personally witnessed this occur in all levels of society from and including but not exhaustively: single mothers, social workers, school teachers, family counselors, job centre, private enterprise, police, solicitors, mental health functionaries, GPs, nurses, &etc; in all cases the strategy is employed for the purposes of manipulating individuals so as to take from them.

Dealing with this situation has only two possibilities. The winning strategy is not to play it at all, which is impossible. The game is about ‘being played by’ narcissists and their support/abuse network.

There are three aspects of this, correlating to stages of the 6 step strategy;
2 Do not agree. Solipsism in the community is impossible. Aloofness is.
5 Distangle.
6 Expose. This requires indisputable proof (actual evidence which is actual evidence).

Remember: onlookers will enter the situation at step 4 and will be using the new dominant narrative as their operating framework, which is pitched against the target. The flying monkeys rarely know that they are being manipulated. They believe they are the good guys, although by their actions (they are step 2 and 3 in a game while the target is at 5 and 6 in a different game) they are in effect persecuting somebody who has been selected by an abuser who they believe to be a hero. They are also targets being manipulated as part of a larger game.

The defence is to open their eyes to that they are deluded and to objectivity (to change their minds thus recruit them to persecute the abuser instead of the abuse victim). It is all about Context Control.

Unfortunately, the targets context is the one perceived as being abusive; so nobody wants to see things that way. The target is calling for people to question their own actions, which nobody likes to do because it is too close to feeling destabilized for comfort. Spiritual disciples do that by default, which is in part why they are targets by those seeking to dominate others through context control.

The fundamentalist and dogmatic part of the mind which we rely on for stability, is commonly called the Ego (not what Freud and Jung used the word to mean). Narcissists rely on that.



©2018

RAPO

Nickelback- S.E.X.

DISCLAIMER: COPYRIGHT MATERIAL USED FULLY ACCREDITED, WITHOUT OFFICIAL CONSENT, FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY, WITHIN INTERNATIONAL FAIR USE POLICY. 

Games People Play

The Psychology of Human Relationships

byEric Berne, MD

CHAPTER 9. SEXUAL GAMES

Some games are played to exploit or fight off sexual impulses. These are all, in effect, perversions of the sexual instincts in which the satisfaction is displaced from the sexual act to the crucial transactions which constitute the payoff of the game. This cannot always be demonstrated convincingly, because such games are usually played in privacy, so that clinical information about them has to be obtained second-hand, and the informants bias cannot always be satisfactorily evaluated. The psychiatric conception of homosexuality, for example, is heavily skewed, because the more aggressive and successful ‘players’ do not often come for psychiatric treatment, and the available material mostly concerns the passive partners.


2. PERVERSION

Thesis.
Heterosexual perversions such as fetishism, sadism and masochism are symptomatic of a confused Child and are treated accordingly. Their transactional aspects, however, as manifested in actual sexual situations, can be dealt with by means of game analysis. This may lead to social control, so that even if the warped sexual impulses remain unchanged, they are neutralised as far as actual indulgence is concerned.


3. RAPO

Thesis.
This game is played between a man and a woman which might more politely be called, in the milder forms at least, ‘kiss off’ or ’indignation’. It may be played with varying degrees of intensity.


1. First-Degree ‘Rapo’, or ‘Kiss Off’, is popular at social gatherings and consists essentially of mild flirtation. White signals that she is available and get her pleasure from the mans pursuit. As soon as he has committed himself, the game is over. If she is polite, she may say quite frankly ” I appreciate your compliments and thank you very much”, and move onto the next conquest. If she is less generous, she may simply leave him. A skilful player can make this game last for a long time at a large social gathering by moving around frequently, so that the man has to carry out complicated manoeuvres in order to follow her without being too obvious.

2. In Second-Degree ‘Rapo’, or ‘Indignation’, White gets only secondary satisfaction from Black’s advances. Her primary gratification comes from rejecting him, so that this game is also colloquially known as ‘Buzz Off, Buster’. She leads Black into a much more serious commitment than the mild flirtation of the first degree ‘Rapo’ and enjoys watching his discomfiture when she repulses him. Black, of course is not as helpless as he seems, and may have gone to considerable trouble to get himself involved. Usually he is playing some variation of ‘Kick me’.

3. Third-Degree ‘Rapo’ is a vicious game which ends in murder, suicide or the courtroom. Here, White leads Black into compromising physical contact and then claims that he has made a criminal assault or has done her irreparable damage. In its most cynical form White may actually allow him to complete the sexual act so that she gets enjoyment before confronting him. The confrontation may be immediate, as in the illegitimate cry of rape, or it may be long delayed, as in suicide or homicide following a prolonged love affair. If she chooses to play it as a criminal assault, she may have no difficulty in finding mercenary or morbidly interested allies, such as the press, the police, counsellors and relatives. Sometimes, however, these outsiders may cynically turn on her, so that she loses the initiative and becomes a tool in their games.

In some cases outsiders perform different function. They force the game on an unwilling White because they want to play ‘Let’s You And Him Fight’. They put her in such a position that in order to save her face or her reputation she has to cry rape. This is particularly apt to happen girls under the legal age of consent; they may be quite willing to continue a liaison, but because it is discovered or made an issue of, they feel constrained to turn the romance into a game of Third-Degree ‘Rapo’.

In one well-known situation, the wary Joseph refused to be inveigled into a game of ‘Rapo’, whereupon Potiphar’s wife made the classical switch into ‘Let’s You And Him Fight’, an excellent example of the way a hard player reacts to antithesis, and of the danger that beset people who refuse to play games. These two games are combined in the well-known ‘Badger Game’, in which the woman seduces Black and then cries rape, at which point her husband takes charge and abuses Black for the purpose of blackmail.

One of the most unfortunate and acute forms of Third-Degree ‘Rapo’ occurs relatively frequently between homosexual strangers, who in a matter of an hour or so may bring the game to a point of homicide. The cynical and criminal variations of this game contribute a large volume to sensational newspaper copy.

The childhood prototype of ‘Rapo’ is the same as that of ‘Frigid Woman’, in which the little girl induces the boy to humiliate himself or get dirty and then sneers at him, as classically described by Maugham in Of Human Bondage and by Dickens in Great Expectations. This is Second Degree. A harder form, approaching Third-Degree may be played in tough neighbourhoods.

Antithesis.
The man's ability to avoid becoming involved in this game or to keep it under control depends on his capacity to distinguish genuine expressions of feeling from moves in the game. If he is thus able to exert social control, he maintained a great deal of pleasure from the mild flirtations of ‘Kiss Off’. On the other hand it is difficult to conceive of a safe antithesis to the Potiphar's wife manoeuvre, other than checking out before closing time with no forwarding address.

Relatives.
The male versions of ‘Rapo’ are notoriously found in commercial situations: ‘Casting Couch’ (and then she didn't get the part)’ and ‘Cuddle Up’ (and then she got fired).

Analysis.
The following analysis refers to Third-Degree ‘Rapo’ because there the elements of the game are more dramatically illustrated.

Aim: malicious revenge.
Roles: seductress, wolf.
Dynamics (Third-Degree): penis envy, oral violence. ‘Kiss Off’ is phallic, while ‘Indignation’ has strong anal elements.
Examples: (1) I’ll tell on you, you dirty little boy. (2) Wronged woman.
Social Paradigm: Adult-Adult.
Adult (male): “I'm sorry if I went further than you intended to.”
Adult (female): “You have violated me and must pay the full penalty.”
Psychological Paradigm: Child-Child.
Child (male): “See how irresistible I am.”
Child (female): “Now I've got you, you son of bitch.”
Moves:
(1) female: seduction; male: counter-seduction.
(2) female: surrender; male: victory.
(3) female: confrontation; male: collapse.
Advantages:
(1) internal psychological - expression of hatred and projection of guilt.
(2) external psychological - avoidance of the emotional sexual intimacy.
(3) internal social - ‘Now I’ve Got You, You Son Of A Bitch’.
(4) external social - ‘Ain’t It Awful’, ‘Courtroom’, ‘Let’s You And Him Fight’.
(5) biological - sexual and belligerent exchanges.
(6) existential - I am blameless.

The Naked Truth

The Naked Truth

I switched off because I was fed up of fighting a defensive position, against playing roles in other peoples drama, in which they needed me to be a bad guy to justify their bid for social support amongst people who did not question their motives & integrity, people who accepted their games as the reality. When someone dominates a narrative, the people worth relating with are those who question that narrative as being definitive. Today when people lie to my face because they have sided with another liar, and I can see through all this, I tell them, you are lying to me because you are a zombie. And what upsets them is not that they perceive my statement as an insult, but because they perceive it as the truth. I have ability to hold mirrors up to people face. Why would I choose to hide behind their face when I can wear my naked skull?

So I dedicated a lot of time to the contemplation of “Keeping the Peace” as justification of lies. I can not respect a liar. I barely accept those who cannot tell the difference between truth and lies and assume ‘what they have been told’ is the truth. It is a mental health dis-order called Cognitive Dissonance / Disbelief Syndrome. So many people suffer this and can end it easily by aligning themselves with Truth. The foundation of spirituality is “to see truth you have to be truth”.

Why would you respect a person who knowingly lies to you? It is abuse because it is attempt to mentally impair them, to deviate their cognitive function away from truth. They certainly do not respect you enough to create an honest world between you. Why would you knowingly create a dishonest world whenever you are in a situation to? Is it because you perceive that the liar has more power than you, so you enable and endorse that? You can depower them so easily by exposing, confronting and reprimanding them.

The conclusion I have come to in the situation above is that for those people who lie and create zombies, for personal empowerment for which we historically use the word ‘liche’ (“leech” and “leige”), or under the justification that they lie to keep the peace, both require that the person who has been lied about, the victim of the slander, one who has less influence amongst the zombie horde because they avoid and dump hate onto the target, should exist with less peace. So it is untrue that lies keep the peace. It creates stress and pins it onto the victim.

The victim has three choices. These are the three worlds within the victims power to manifest.

One: (inaction) accept the situation and let them think whatever they want, because they are zombies they are incapable of clarity of thought anyway. This is to endorse the slander and be a party to it.  Remain identified as “victim”.

Two: (action) protest and attempt to win zombies over to the truth by telling the other side of the story which they have never asked to hear because they are zombies. Discredit the liars. Refute being ‘victim’ yet perpetuate war instead of bringing peace. Justified by; truth and understanding within a community which has been perverted by lies.

Three: (ascension) rise above the whole situation, detach, and know that aligning with truth means to rise above the dirt in which the zombies wallow, to attain a spiritual purity which liches cannot even see. Let them rot in their own deceptions and illusions.

In terms of transactional analysis it look like this:

adult - adult = truth - truth
parent - child = liar - zombie
child - child = zombie - zombie

“Grown-ups can handle the truth” and the famous retort: “Why do you lie to your children?” (Your duty is to support them to survive in adult life.)

“All this will be for nothing. We will have been for nothing. Defined by their histories, distorted to fit into their narrative. Until all that is left of us are the monsters in the stories they tell their children.” Captain Flint, Black Sails

Cick HERE for Universal Truth

StoneWall

STONEWALLING AND COMMUNITY

Preface

I write from the perception of a counsellor concerned with the impact social engineering employed to divide-and-control which creates an imbalance in society, resulting in the destruction of community, to provide leverage for further exploitation of individuals. If you are an individual this is directly relevant to you.


“Gray Rock” is a technique promoted by fifth-wave feminists * following third-wave principles.

third wave is anti-male, female supremacy strategies.

fourth wave feminism is a rejection of fem-dom and a focus on female related issues.

fifth wave is use of technological communication to manipulate society on a 1-1 and small group basis. This is precisely how cults work. It offers the manipulator a chance to interfere and retreat with no responsibility. It is an ideal situation for Narcissists to enjoy their methods for empowerment-by-control-and-destruction.

Popular within the contemporary communications technology community is the dynamic between Narcissist and Empath. A cultural terminology has emerged expressing our life situations in these terms and it is a method of indoctrination for the purpose of agenda based manipulation. This does not mean there are not cases where it is relevant and useful. It has also unveiled the scope by which manipulation is occurring throughout society to reprogram people to become less empathic and more narcissistic in their behaviour toward each other. Most especially this is aimed at encouraging females to resent males, playing on the foundation of gender based division.

Personally I believe that genders are complimentary, and phrases such as “battle of the sexes” encourage sexism and division. Communities thrive best where there is harmony, not division. The complimentary gender is 50% of the people on this planet. That is unlikely to change simply because of a personal prejudice and encouragement from hardline extremists using com-tech to brainwash a generation.

#GenderlessEquality is not the same thing at all as trans-gender.



Stonewalling And Community


Narcissistic Method

Stonewalling somebody without explaining to them why they are being stonewalled is a method used by narcissists to protect themselves against those who they perceive as narcissists. The result is the target (the one being stonewalled) does not know why the stonewaller is doing it, and assumes them either to be acting irrationally or to be manipulated into acting on misinformation as an attempt to socially isolate the target as a part of a victimisation campaign (Hate Crime by proxy).

Whatever affront the target did to the person doing the stonewalling, is going to be repeated endlessly until somebody points it out to them that a specific aspect of their behaviour was wrong. NB it is not the person, it is the behaviour - these are two distinct and different entities as is taught in childcare. All of us have a social duty and a duty to self to continually improve our behaviour with relation to other people. It helps vastly more when we are aware what behaviour is perceived as wrong, than it does when the target does not know at all.

A person who has been stonewalled with no concept of why, is going to be confused, offended and will not be able to work on improving themselves or recognizing where they might need to improve - if at all.

Anybody encouraging stonewalling with no explanation is actively divide-and-control, is attempting to control the one doing the stonewalling. An intelligent person (A) would question why person B is encouraging them to avoid person C and to put both person A and C into this position.

If you Stonewall somebody for no apparent reason - you are the sociopath.


Alternatively:


Empathic Method

Stonewalling somebody after explaining why they are being stonewalled is a method used by empaths concerned with improving the social conditions we all experience. It establishes a dynamic by which healing can develop and progress can be made within the community. The target can work on the problem because the target knows what the problem is. It also exposes where stonewalling is a reaction to misperception or as result of manipulation of the stonewaller by a third party.

If the target (the person being stonewalled) asks “Why am I being stonewalled” this immediately indicates that the target does not understand and cares enough to want to fix the situation.



StoneWall As Abuse Tactic

Stonewalling is an abusive technique. If you need time out from your relationship, you state that you need time out. If the partner ignores that then stonewalling may become necessary. Stonewalling is the abrupt and final end of a relationship.

To stonewall somebody for a perceived sleight without explaining the problem or for no serious reason at all is the methodology of a narcissist who has decided to drop one of their sources of energy (“supply”). There is only one reason a narcissist would do this; self protection, to avoid exposure. Discredition of the threat is a standard reaction. "I had to stonewall him/her poor me!" solicits sympathy by way of securing new supply. 

A full exploration of how humans use each other as sources of energy can be found in The Games People Play by Dr Eric Berne. Make it the next book you read. It is easy to understand the principles and strategies which develop for purpose of energy supply. It is as relevant today as ever, although the use of modern communications technologies has given us a different arena and the emergence of different strategies (see fifth-wave feminism).



My Experience of StoneWall

I have both stonewalled people and been stonewalled by them. The Block function on facebook is stonewalling. It is useful to avoid any unwanted attention from abusers. People who I have been stonewalled by, who later explained their justification for doing so fall into three categories:

- genuinely had a good reason (fortunately I have had very few of these if any)
- was/is playing control games which I have challenged/exposed, so has stonewalled me as attempt to cover it up (including labelling me as an abuser to justify their own abusive actions)
- was manipulated by a third party who sought to disable their support network of which I was included by persuading them I was a threat.


When you weigh up these three reasons, these are the questions you need to ask when stonewalling a person. Why am I stonewalling this person? And; Is the right thing to do for myself, the target and society at large, to explain to the person why they are being stonewalled?


PostScript

A genuine healer heals the whole, holistically, rather than isolating components. You only cut out a cancer if it is definitely identified as a cancer and not a support. Most people are in real life situations which involve elements of both - we are beyond Disney Princess Syndrome which is a meme used for leverage. This is symptomatic of the society we live in as much as it is symptomatic of the cPTSD so many of us have as a result of trauma from the society we live in.

The Positivist Agenda is to create no more trauma and to heal that we have suffered, for the benefit of individual and community. Society is your enemy, Community is your friend. Community is holistic and non-exclusive. When it becomes so, it is no longer community, it is a sub-culture of Society. This is the only rational Humanistic approach we can take toward healing ourselves and others without harbouring fear and hatred toward specific individuals. We all know that fear and hatred are toxic.

Q. Who gains from fear and hatred?
A. Those who exploit others for personal gain.

See also:

Energy Games

AuthorityAbuse
BitchPack