WhoDoesYourThinking

Who Does Your Thinking?

This essay is in two main components with an afterword. 

1. Sociology which outlines a very common theme in contemporary Western culture,  and

2. Psychology which explores the hidden roots of it using Transactional Analysis. 

3 Afterword. 

1. Sociology

She has been put into a position where she had to put her Facebook Relationship Status on ‘For Your Eyes Only’ mode so her fiancé could see that was still valid but nobody else could. Everybody else who saw her Facebook status saw no information about her relationship status. This was to appease the critics in her life who wanted her to split up with him. 

There are two reasons: their own jealousy, and because they want her to be under their control, not independent from them by her being more strongly bonded with a partner. She did not stand up for her right to be in a dedicated relationship but instead felt she had been forced into manipulation. For him, manipulation is a sign of a duplicitous personality who can not be trusted. On this basis, when he found out what she was up to, he was offended and made a decision to discuss it with her prior to ending the relationship. To have outright ended the relationship on this basis would have been a knee-jerk reaction albeit an understandable one. 

The same people pressuring her to end the relationship have also pressured him and caused him problems by involving the authorities, all of which bounced off him because the authorities can see it for what it is based on the actual evidence; that her friends and family, her peers, are abusive, jealous women trying to control her. 

This entire statement is re-branded as ‘mansplaining’ in the language of what used to be called radical-feminism but has now been rebranded as normal-feminism due to the extremists activities which used to be considered a form of domestic terrorism but is now considered normalised. The malicious personality traits are being used as agents of agendas of segregation by extremists controlled by a cult which is effectively destroying the stability of this nation under the guise of progressive feminism. 

He believes in a relationship with an equal is a meeting of hearts, minds, bodies and soul. He respects the wisdom of a certificate on the wall of the local Marriage Registry which states; “Marriage is the world between two people to the exclusion of all others.” 

She is not exclusive. She has empowered the fray of peers and community, along with their segregation agendas. 

Both of the bitter, jealous, controlling people in question are themselves in marriages. His role, his intent is to protect her from them. However he has been compromised because she has rights to do what she wants, as endorsed by feminism. He was forced into a position, to protect his relationship. He offered her a hard line. To live in accordance with the confines of empowering a stable, loving relationship or to choose to live in accordance with feminism. She decided to try to have both because Feminism promises she can have both at the detriment of the stable loving relationship. Once again she proved these two disciplines are mutually exclusive. It gets tested almost continuously which is exhausting for everyone involved and amusing to the people throwing spanners into their home life. 

There are two paths before you.

You are in a position of empowerment to choose which path. 

You must choose one. 

You can choose only one.

If you choose and change your mind, the game resets 

but with a handicap and with the couple being regarded to have low integrity. 

If you do not choose, you are not exempt from consequence. 

If you do not choose, others will choose for you. 

If you do not choose, you are regarded to have no agency therefore are of low integrity. 

On one track, there is your loving fiancé.

On the other track, there are a community of bitter people, some of whom already are married and some whom hate men, all of whom want to split you up from your fiancé.

You must choose which to sacrifice. 

If you change your mind, you will have sacrificed both. 

The handicap to that is you will be regarded as having low-integrity. 

 

Having a high integrity relationship is a form of empowerment. 

You are deciding what to empower. 

The reason this equation is valid is because there are only so many hours in a day to decide where to put your attention. Attention is energy. It is a form of currency. We are powerful energies, which is why others seek to control us and society teaches us we are worthless, as a tool to control us.  

The critical question is; 

do you want a fiancé, or 

do you want to be owned by the community of jealous people who want to control you? 

The jealous people will describe marriage as slavery. Remember, half of them are already married themselves but for whatever reason which is nothing to do with you they have not ended their  own marriages. 

People living in fear do not trust the Divine. 

They are ‘Godless’ and disconnected from Source, Spirit, the holistic nature of reality. 

They turn instead of false idols to worship, to cults, 

such as for example the theories and philosophies of extremism and social agendas, 

or to false friends and manipulative relations. 

A successful marriage is one where the partners listen to each other and not to outside voices persuading them to cause friction within their family home. 

When people are diagnosed with Personality Disorders it is very often because they cause friction for other people, to disrupt the Harmony. 

The very fact that she chose to listen to them and not to her loving fiancé is all the evidence required to prove she does not respect marriage nor men. The string of men who she exploits along the way who are not scared off by her friends and relatives are persecuted at a higher stake by those same people, even when it bounces off them. The amount of problems those people are causing for men because they do not respect men adds to the mens stress associated with dating the girl in the first place. It is damaging antisocial behaviour. 

She could have simply said to them;

“That’s my boyfriend and I love him, leave him alone, he means more to me than you do.” 

But she is too afraid of the consequence, were she to raise self-respect boundaries to protect herself and her chosen life-partner, the world they are building together. The sociopaths would raise the stakes and cause even more problems for them as they observe her slipping out of their control.

She plays this game for self-validation. 

2. Psychology

She plays this game for self-validation. 

At the core of it is the female psychology which women known too well. 

Women emotionally exist on a spectrum, along a line of neurosis at one end and princess at the other. This is Yin energy. 

What stabilises her is the masculine assertive Yang energy, which either boosts her toward princess or toward neurosis. Women love and fear Yang depending how safe they feel with it, and seek to control it the same way men seek to control and understand the feminine quality of Yin yielding energy.  There are two sources of Yin and Yang which affect the balance of our own Yin and Yang; internal self-harmony, external other peoples influence. 

This explains why women are drawn to some men but fear others, and men are drawn to some women but not others. Yin and Yang naturally work to harmonise with each other. 

There are four quadrants each with its own expression; 

Fearful yin (vulnerable dependant & vulnerable narcissism) - black hole 

Confident yin (classical femininity, the worlds most treasured healing energy) - soothing star, life-nurturing 

Fearful yang (overt domination) - exploding or collapsing star

Confident yang (assured protection) - radiant star, life-giving 

The question then, what brings confidence?

The answer is stability. Inner stability feels like inner peace. 

It is to have trust in the universe as a beneficial provider. 

This is the best place to place trust. 

Most relationships are not so clear and simple as to be black and white. 

They are entanglements which function on many levels of being. 

What creates a perception into a specific dimension of awareness? 

Experiences. 

Trauma-bonding creates connections on sub-Dom, passive-aggressive, push-you-pull-me levels of relating. In todays society, we basically as a generalisation all have varying trauma. We all function on a mish-mash of unregulated and non-identifiable levels of trauma-bond which we project outward onto others. 

Social agendas will program us to shut down such complications on one side (marriage counselling methods) or the other (segregational feminism). 

3. Afterword

The resolution is always going to be open, honest communication about feelings and practicalities. 

Of course, situations where the clash of mixed necessities and compromises built on compromises are going to be used as leverage for energy-manipulation unless you can gain sufficient empowerment for a clean break.

This fosters for the society of ‘mutual self-interest’ where people are disposable, replaceable and expendable having fulfilled purpose. This creates a pandemic of Narcissism.

"The problem is people treat things like people and people like things." anon

"The problem today is people don't cherish good people, they try to use them." Bob Marley.

"Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things." Sir Terry Pratchett.

"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, 

but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively." Bob Marley. 

How do we defeat that? 

Respect for one another needs. 

Reinforcing the institute of happy marriages instead of destroying it.

You can see what the enemy to community is when you have the Humanitarian understanding which defines us as Being Humans.

  

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

Five questions to ask before deciding whether to end your relationship or not. 

Artist Statement 2024

 Artists Statement 2024

Throwing away the paintings I did when I had low self esteem, feelings of worthlessness, depression, living in the city. Throwing them away is the final stage of release of that trauma. Letting go of that part of my life. 

Along with it comes the throwing away of all the boxes of card-stock and cardboard stockpiled for painting and crafting projects. At the time it felt I did not have time to do everything I wanted to do. However, I did not know that in the pressure-stress of thinking I had run out of time already. 

The huge problem was other people interrupting me. Other people getting in the way with unhelpful comments about how my creative process is a psychological disorder. It’s not a psychological disorder; they are. They are impacting me negatively and disrupting my productivity. When they supersede it damages my self-esteem and prevents me finishing my art. When I ignore them I win because I have confidence from being productive. My purpose of being alive is as an artist, not as a punchbag for negative peoples superiority disorders and power games. I would have been more productive had they simply left me alone to get on with it my way instead of criticising me for doing it my way. 

Throwing away the art which did get finished, because it had attachments to a negative time of my life when I had less self belief, is cathartic. While it does mean a potential loss of income - the one picture stored here which I did show someone else won me a £2K bursary; to put estimated value on the other pictures, most of which nobody else has ever seen. They’re all taking up a room full of space in my house which is considered to be a mental disorder of hoarding by most people who are aware of the situation. People who don’t care enough to actually ask to see the paintings it must be added. 

The process of making art is recognised as a form of therapy and as skills study, which is more valid to the artist than are the finished objects. I studied the Fine Arts at honours degree level. While the paintings do have commercial value and would boost the local economy if they were to be advertised and sold, too many people have been derogatory to me for me to have any incentive to empower those peoples nation and culture. As far as empowering myself is concerned, I need to segregate myself from any attachments from the previous art and craft materials so that other people will accept me instead of describing me as mentally unwell for hoarding. The art has multi-level attachments to my negative self-esteem. I am told the filling of my space with clutter is a psychiatric disorder by people who I do not show my paintings to because I do not trust them to see the paintings after they grind me down instead of accepting how lifestyle is fundamental to productivity and that an artists studio requires materials and resources stored there along with finished works, to create art with. 

So it is no loss to me to throw my art out, or the resources required to make more of it. Other living local artists only want the unused paints for themselves and their kids instead of respecting my art and my need for making it. Nobody cares about the finished art anyway. I used to but I’ve got the hint from social pressure. It’s abnormal. This has liberated me to see all artists for what they are, and what I used to be myself. Art is a product of mental abnormality. All works of art are distractions and delusions no matter what the financial value placed on them by delusional people. 

This decision is liberating for me. To detox from the person I was, someone who struggled to make art and struggled for it to be accepted. By destroying it all, I am more likely to be accepted as a person. I can understand that now. It’s why the mental health people describe my collected sheets of cardboard stored to paint on when I get time, as an attachment disorder to junk, rather than as the tools of a working artist. They have got through to me. 

I would be better with an empty room and no desire to paint. No paintings stored and taking up space. The rare state worker who visits my house would feel comfortable there for all of ten minutes. Which is what this is all about after all. They are the authorities and are therefore the experts on how society should be, to improve it. The problems they cause me will go away. 

By burning them all, I am liberated from all the toxic energies thrown at me by other people. All my charcoal drawings. All my acrylic paintings. They’re bad. They have been bad for me. They are bad for the community. The imagery will be default be bad for the community. They symbolise struggle, depression, repression, toxic rejection of corporate control. They do not symbolise hope, aspiration, success, acceptance, purity. 

Twenty-five years worth of my creative output. It will require a few days of bonfires. I will release to the great spirit all which I have been to purify my way forwards. 

I will be free, I will be happy. People will accept me and say I have healed. I no longer need to make art. I no longer need to waste any more of my energy and time living in a delusion. 

The lesson I have learned is to recognise artists for what they are now. I know because I have evolved beyond that level of awareness into becoming something else. Artists are broken because they do not conform. I accept that to fit in, I must conform. We all should. 

Zen. 

All we need to do is breathe 

until we leave this body. 

It is the greatest inspiration of all. 

Case Study

1

A diagnosis is an opinion. It is not a fact. It is not a Truth.

A professional diagnosis is a professional opinion. It is not a fact. It is not a Truth.

When a person claims that an opinion is inaccurate because it does not accurately describe that person, one of two things can happen.

First, preferably, the person is listened to and the situation re-evaluated. This is called common sense and falls within the broader concept of humanitarianism.

Secondly, the person is ignored and the more accurate information is irrelevant to the professional diagnosis. This is called professional misconduct. In some industries it is called neglect of duty. It is called prejudice and falls within the broader context of abuse.



2

When a person listens to a rumour and accepts it as a Truth or as a fact without first getting to the bottom of the situation, that person is not respectable. In psychiatry it is a recognised to be a mental disorder falling within a spectrum which includes cognitive dissonance and disbelief syndrome. If they act on the misinformation without requesting clarification from source, such people are recognised to be not fully functioning human beings.

When a person accepts somebody else’ opinion to be a fact or a Truth, they are not doing their own thinking. They immediately become an agent of the original lie. They become party to the corruption. They are now a component in an abuse network.


3

Identifying the original source becomes imperative in situations 1 and 2 above.


4

Once having identified that a person has lied and that a network exist to expand upon that lie, it is called corruption. All of the people involved in permeating the lie are also corrupt.

In legal terms it is called a conspiracy. It is a criminal offence. To permeate a lie from a position of authority is called fraud if there is paperwork involved, also professional misconduct, misconduct in office, and/or neglect of duty.

Such a person undermines not only their own authority but also the respectability of all positions of authority. That person should be a target of concern by all other authorities.

*in our case study, a professional criminal manages successfully to divert attention away from their own corruption by making a claim that the victim of the corruption is the person whom everybody should be suspicious of. The criminal does this to maintain their hold on office and ensure their personal income. Other conspirators in the abuse network who are also fabricating paperwork to entrench the original lie continue to pursue the course of action of discrediting the original target whenever the original target speaks out against it. It has a snowball/avalanche effect which extends to the discredited individual being set up by the authorities to criminalise him, thus further undermining his outspoken Truth.



5

What makes a person a professional is that they profess to be an acting agent of a principle.

The principle of GP’s for example, general practioners also known as Doctors if they have studied to achieve an expensive piece of paper award called a doctorate although this is not essential to be an active GP and hold a registered office, much the same way a teaching qualification is not essential to be a teacher. The principle of doctors is to doctor situations, which means to alter them. A GP is not a professionally qualified Healer which is a very, very different occupation and principle.

The principle of the GP is to unquestioningly do what the computer tells him to do. The academic text books are also based on opinions and solidified using case studies. The opinions based on observational studies of groups of people somewhere else in the world at some other time under different conditions. In terms of science, that is not proper scientific protocol.

Common Sense and Humanitarianism indicates that if, as in our scenario, the case study is a target of abuse by a criminal network operating through the system, and whose opinion has been undermined and replaced officially by a misdiagnosis, that the existence of case studies is irrelevant if one is attempting to establish the truth of any individual situation. Case studies are inaccurate to the reality of situations and exist to cover up corruption. They are not facts. They are not Truths. Case studies exist to maintain a source of income for professionals in office. They do not exist to heal people for the simple reason that healing people involves actually listening to what that person is saying.

“It takes one bad apple to spoil the barrel.” Ancient Folk Wisdom

See also: Case Study Notes

sprawl

Finally 'they' are filming Gibson, the news broke like a mind fried on digital drugs under analaesthetic mistreatment of a biopsycop clinical interrogation procedurally generated 64-bit graphic blipfest on an i-ching k'ching torture wheel of life. 'Your time has come' the infoverload splashed to grab your catchy attention whoring borgasm. 

Hi-5 if you did it in one take out the trash with the cat.

And so it calms down to a regular spin wherein the revelation I live in the fucking sprawl. 

Need proof? A pixel tells a hundred words.

© SW Wales Herald 8.9.17 used non-profit for educational purposes within international fair use policy

Top image: local newspaper print and article; the greedy old girls club council are at it again, building shit homes on unsafe terrain for immediate profit now despite so many regulations against it. The bay is Britains most toxic because too much sewage outlets already and most of the development is on the floodplain, raised a few feet by burying bluebag recycling under concrete because its cheaper than actually recycling it. This is Wales for you.

The pixel-tryptic below shows the Sprawl Trilogy umpteenth edition print covers. 

And it is all the same thing. 

No more needs saying.

http://io9.gizmodo.com/the-neuromancer-movie-is-back-on-this-time-from-deadpo-1797691788

https://www.theverge.com/2017/8/9/16121760/neuromancer-movie-deadpool-director-tim-miller

http://www.cleveland.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2017/08/william_gibsons_neuromancer_is.html

http://deadline.com/2017/08/deadpool-tim-miller-neuromancer-william-gibson-movie-fox-simon-kinberg-1202145496/

http://www.slashfilm.com/neuromancer-movie-tim-miller/

http://www.denofgeek.com/uk/movies/neuromancer/51268/neuromancer-deadpool-s-tim-miller-now-linked-with-directing

StigmaWhisper

A Stigmatic Case of Chinese Whisper

"Don't draw what you think you see. Draw what you actually see."

Fine Art Instruction (Da Vinci Academy)

The fictional dialogue (pt 2 and pt 3) is inspired by an actual dialogue (pt 1) in which both real and fictional protagonists tackle a real life prejudice person. Pt 4 is the original envelope notes from which pt 3 is adapted to make it more congruent with the story.

Part One

Case Worker Jewel: “What happened with the job I set up for you with the Company? They told me they have not seen you for months.”

Honest Joe: “After wasting quite a lot of my time I finally accepted that they are not buying the paint and therefore I can not possibly paint their mural. I am still waiting for them to contact me via email to tell me they have bought the paint.”

Case Worker Jewel: “Oh. Well what about doing their website?”

Honest Joe: “I already explained to you that my company charges cost plus 10% for building websites. Which is the best deal on the internet. Most people are charging cost plus 500% or more. I don’t see why I should build your friends website for free. I have already requested you to advertise my company and put me forward for any business grants available.”

Case Worker Jewel: “Well that’s just crazy.”

Honest Joe had the good grace to say nothing because anything he did say at that point would have been to start an argument regarding his right to charge money for his time and skills. His Case Worker’s refusal to put him forward for business grants which he is eligible for combined with her insult that the suggestion to be “just crazy” highlighted to Joe that he is dealing with someone with a prejudiced opinion of him. Joe's belief in common sense is such that when it is clearly evident someone with an agenda has an opinion of you which is prejudice, it is best not to discuss anything at all with that person. The meeting ended very shortly after that.

Part Two

In which the character named Joe’s Logic might equally be described as A Voice Of Conscience. On and for the record, if you have a voice of conscience in your mind then you are technically hearing voices.

Joe’s Logic: “Why have you separated him out as a ‘special case’?”

Jewel: “He is mental health.”

Joe’s Logic: “Do you have a body?”

Jewel: “Yes of course.”

Joe’s Logic: “Health applies. Do you have a mind?”

Jewel: “Yes.”

Joe’s Logic: “Health applies. You also are mental health. What do you mean precisely by ‘he is mental health’ ?”

Jewel: “Oh, he has mental health problems.”

Joe’s Logic: “Explain that precisely please, not bias.”

Jewel: “Well, I don’t know the specifics. He has been diagnosed.”

Joe’s Logic: “Regardless of a GPs opinion*, or a generalization from a third party putting a label on him, what precisely is the nature of his alleged problems?”

Jewel: “Well, I don’t actually know.”

Joe’s Logic: “But you stigmatize him, based on zero actual evidence and a confession of ignorance.”

Jewel: “Well, I am ….”

Joe’s Logic: “Given that you are prejudice and with no verifiable justification of your allegation, it stands to reason that You are ipso facto the one with a mental health disorder.”

Jewel: “Shit, you are right.”

INTERCESSION

In real life, Nobody replies this way (by recognizing their own error of judgement) because it is a confession of self-delusion which breaks the person out of a cycle of self-delusion. Self-delusion is recognized to be a mental health disorder called ‘Cognitive Dissonance’.

What we have here is a scenario where a person evidently suffering from a mental health disorder (and yet with a position of social authority) is actively persecuting somebody who has not showed any sign of a mental health disorder, quite the contrary in fact, and yet who is being prejudiced against because of slander. This is why mentally healthy people do not judge other people by reputation.  

Part Three

*
Jewel: "You said, 'regardless of GP's opinion'. Why do you doubt a professional expert? Why do you question that authority?"

Joe's Logic: "How would a GP know whether a person other than himself hears voices? How would a third party know what is happening inside a different persons mind?"

Jewel: "Well Joe must have told the GP that he hears voices."

Joe's Logic: "That is YOUR assumption. The actual events were that a third party told a GP that Joe hears voices and when Joe denied it, the GP said that hearing voices is schizophrenia and that denial of schizophrenia is a symptom of schizophrenia, thus as Joe has two symptoms he must obviously be schizophrenic. Joe's explanation that the GP is using non-logic has been written up as his experiencing paranoia about state professionals therefore a third symptom."

Jewel: "So what you are saying is that Joe is not schizophrenic although the Professionals have diagnosed him as schizophrenic because of something that somebody else said about him."

Joe's Logic: "That is part of it, yes. That is exactly what has happened. And nobody will back down. The more Joe explains to the so-called Professionals that they have made a mistake, the more reports the Professionals fabricate describing Joe as having symptoms of being delusional about Professionals fabricating evidence to the detriment of his social reputation."

Jewel's Higher Logic: "Of which my own prejudice about Joe was previously a part of!" 

Joe's Logic: "State workers all back the official paperwork version of reality EVEN WHEN THEY KNOW IT IS BOGUS." 

Jewel's Higher Logic: "Which is why you described Cognitive Dissonance as a mental health disorder."

Joe's Logic: "Yes. You see what is happening now." 

Part Four

The GP who lied about me had my mothers smile. They are not prepared to discuss the possibility that muscle being mostly water holds an energetic form and configuration so facial expressions and body posture can reveal who a person has been programmed by - who is whose zombi. It is alarming how dishonest they are that they would have to be prepared to be able to discuss such a thing. It is common sense that a rational and functional person with a healthy mind should be able to converse regarding all that.

When I discuss this, 'they' regard it as insanity. You know to whom I refer by use of 'they' because it has already been established, were you were paying sufficient attention. They regard it as insanity and use that as an excuse to debunk my opinion, so as to cover their tracks. They are in conspiracy. It is a criminal offense at law.

The situation of state professionals telling me that I am mad is designed to destabilize my trust in my own cognitive abilities. it is a power game involving perception and exploration of reality. Expressing concern that i am not conforming to the social contract without accurately discovering what my orientation to that social contract is does not, logically speaking, have any bearing on my own mental condition - it describes the conspirators belief structure. They are using strawman arguments. It is crooked thinking.

Claiming them to be in conspiracy is regarded by the state professionals as being paranoia of the state professionals. At this stage their irrationality becomes bigotry and prejudice. Their paperwork trail does not accurately express my opinion about my situation and neither does it accurately describe my actual mental condition. It is fabrication of evidence, a criminal offense at law. They are guilty of neglect of duty, corruption of public office. These are socially regarded to be serious crimes. It is a Human Rights abuse committed by sociopaths with an agenda. Their job roles are a cover for that.

They cannot or will not accept my own version of me to be an authority on me.

Their assumption that they know me better than i know myself, which their reports indicate IS their game, show them to be making things up. This is symptomatic of a sick society in which this is allowed to occur.



©2017 Ordo Octopia. All Rights Reserved

from The Envelope Notes

Creche mentality

Experience

sponsored by Yr Hwb / back to work projects

Dolaucothi Gold

The temple of stars is amazing.

It is not a natural cave; it is a mine, made by Victorians, using child and adult labour; people who only one hundred years ago saw one day sunlight in a week, working in terrible and dangerous conditions. A child would hold a metal spike taller than himself, while an adult hammered it with a sledgehammer. They did this by the light of one candle. The rock is shale, containing quartz, which contains trace elements of fools gold (iron pyrite) and a tiny amount of gold. Where water has found its way through cracks over the millennia and into the quartz, cavities which grow naturally and where volcanic gas which has been released into fissures in the shale, where the quartz has grown over millennia; here the quartz is discoloured with orange, the rust from the iron. Little flecks of pyrite and occasionally gold, find their way down stream. I imagine the original discoverer found a heap of the stuff along the edges of a spring stream meandering through the forest. 

After a day of hammering into the rock, dynamite was placed inside the hole. All of these were exploded after everyone had left the mine for the night, long tapers lit from a distance. That night, the dust settled inside the mine and the next day, instead of making holes, everyone would load the rubble into metal train carts, push them - a ton of metal and a ton of rock - outside the mine so it could be panned using troughs of water. The whole site is in a sunken valley because the romans heard from the stone age tribes that there was gold here, and they stripped the mountain down into a pit. This is the working theory until in 2010 a French team of archeologists discovered antler scrapings inside one of the mines, which means that not all of the mines were made by Victorians using dynamite or Romans using the slower method of heating and cooling the rock with fires and water until it cracked from the quick change in temperature; thus burning up all the local forests. 

A lot of what is called ‘indigenous British woodland’ is all around the region now including surrounding the mining camp. It is now made of a few corrugated tin buildings from world war two housing the visitor center and Victorian machines. It is crazy seeing these machines, painted with thick layers of rustproof paint the same as the sheds, but still operable using hand crafted components. The age of industry which seems ridiculous considering that we now know how to make free energy devices, although mostly everyone is still using the civic grids because all of that can be capitalized on very easily. 

For ten tons of rock, there is one ton of quartz - and from all of that, the average was enough gold to make 1 ring. It is now regarded as insanity by most people because the energy spent to get something which has only the value we assign to it, which is a lot of money to the rich, a lot of respect from energy healers, and not really very much at all by any of the people whose lives were dedicated to getting the stuff for their bosses to sell. 

The temple of stars is what has happened since the mines were re-opened and then closed again a hundred years ago. What happens inside the cave, is water comes down through tiny fissures in the rock and a curious life form i can’t remember the latin word for it, a hybrid between lichen and moss, grows. It covers the ceiling not only with a pale green creamy softness, in paths between the dark rock; but it also extracts and collects the fools gold, perhaps even the real gold, on its tips where their weight brings them to dangle off the plant, but they stick too well for the water to knock them off when it eventually drips down. After at least a hundred years, there are only a few patches of it growing. To touch it with your fingertips destroys it instantly, it takes many human lifetimes to create even the temple of stars as it is. Beneath it, with a dozen visitors shining miner helmets up onto it, with heavy lights on top of their heads; the gold reflects against the light, through the water; and because every sparkle of it glows, the stone looks pitch black even against the lights. It is really beautiful, and it does not come out very well at all on camera. I did not have my camera with me :(

For me, the most exciting thing of all was, while staring at the ceiling, tasting the drip of water which inevitably found its way onto my lips, into my mouth open in amazement, feeling the ancientness of the whole place - i am still integrating cave-man mentality, the hardness and oldness of stone, the experience is shamanic, going below the earth, into the mother. I saw three tiny worms clinging to the ceiling. The largest was a cm long. They are white but translucent, i guess they are parasites of some type. Their bodies contained two tubes, not quite from top to bottom of each worm, which were light brown the same colour as the mud brought down by the water over the centuries, to help hold the lichen-moss stuff in place; and in the centre of their body is a strip of gold (iron pyrite probably). Their bodies filter the elements they eat; and like us, they pass out mud much more easily than metal, which is stored and which ultimately causes us to mutate; usually it makes us sick and kills us, we use turmeric to detox from metal-build-up. In petrochemical environments where we handle plastics and metals, breathe it in, wash ourselves in metal and petrol based bleach; we build up a lot of this stuff in our bodies over a lifetime. It causes alzheimers etc. Nitrates in food and all those additives, its all shit. In the worms lifetime, it shows how much it builds up in their bodies. They were beautiful too, a strip of gold in a semi-transparent, white leech thing wriggling across the temple of stars. 

The woman who gave the guided tour around the caves, it being the day before halloween, was dressed in a red devil costume although with pointy horns and ... now  I remember her as holding a lantern like the Hermit in the Tarot, although she was not actually holding a lantern so much as telling us how switch on the damn heavy battery packs and lamps on the heads of our mining hats. It being Wales and all... a woman dressed in red leading a troupe into the dark caves of Wales, where her hoard of gold lays buried... the imagery is too good not to mention. 

Me... I prefer redstone. 

http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dolaucothi-gold-mines/

I would like to thank my son's friends dad who, recognizing us from the school, asked if we would like to go with them on a halloween trip. I left the village two or three months ago for a medical interview in Carmarthen... before that I left the village (night of my mates gig in Carmarthen) two years ago... Since becoming pedestrian my finances have picked up, my anxiety has massively reduced, I have quit coffee, basically I have quit stress-now-culture-of-immediacy. Panning for flecks of gold was not about greed so much as therapeutic.