Shame/Narcissism/Feminism/Healing

Echo and Narcissus, John William Waterhouse, 1903,
commonly used illustration of how projected grids affect working context to the delusion and disillusionment of involved parties

Disclaimer: For the purposes of this text, specific gender pronouns are used. While it is equally accurate the other way around it is vastly more common in the community to encounter it the way specified here. This use of gender bias is done purposefully, it should become apparent by the end of the text why it is necessary in this context. This said; a core principle of the outline concept is that in most cases, 'it works two ways'. 

Shame/Narcissism/Feminism/Healing

The shame and guilt reflex. 

Trauma becomes behavioral patterns.

She needs to hear somebody say, I am sorry. 
And for her to believe it, to accept it. 

Until then, every relationship she has which can possibly be exploited into the shape required, for the partner to apologize to her. She has transferred the need. It is no longer the original person who needs to apologize for that to her, it is whoever is providing her supply/support. 

The trauma possibly originated in childhood from a parent or a caregiver, or from a significant other eg; spouse. In any case, it is the breaking of trust which is resulted in trauma and developed into personality disorder. 

A significant portion of the population carry versions of this around. People on the narcissistic personality disorder spectrum as a result of trauma, need their partner to apologize to them. So therefore they bully and belittle significant other until that person conforms and plays at the role for their healing. Whether the person has consented to this game or not, it is the closest possible in liminal terms because they are a supply, supportive of the person. 

It does inflict injury on the partner by the process of cajoling and positioning him into a situation where he feels apologetic. This subtle form of abuse is called recontextualisation and usually developed in stages but can occur in one fabricated situation in which the narcissist is moving the goalposts. 

What happens next, as the shame and the consequence, the pattern which is grown from the shame, is projected outwards instead of being faced up to, is it becomes toxic. This is the narcissist internal mechanism, it then becomes the context clouding the relationship. For the narcissist is the purpose of the relationship which is being used as leverage so that they do not have to face the same reflex but can still maneuver around it. That partner is the fall-guy being manipulated for that purpose. In most cases, neither of the partners are aware of it and in many cases because there is so much trauma in the community, both partners are playing at various levels of this. 

For relationship counseling; identifying personal shame and trusting your partner to work through those processes with you, should be something which occurs early on in the relationship preferably before engaging in sex because that further complicates matters although trust relationships being what they are… Are preferable than disposable sex partners. We will need sex that’s a given. It’s only a problem when games are played using sex as leverage.

What happens next is the relationship between the person needing to hear sorry and inflicting that position onto their partner, both fall within roles which are very easily misinterpreted. Smokescreens and distractions veil the underlaying energy structures. 

The partner feels targeted and put out, and recognizes this, is in a confusion of withdrawal for self-preservation with being exploited by routine behavior to respond to the narcissists reward/control system. It is much more complicated and confusing when sex is involved because then it functions on every level of our being and the entanglement is a much more complicated entity to untangle.

The narcissist on the other hand is not receiving the full support and supply required and which they are used to, decides their partner who is not reacting by apologizing, is useless and a waste of the time. 

From both directions, resentment grows. 

One of them decides to leave first, creating a vacuum space of misperception which cannot be healed by communication because there is none, hurt feelings and uncomfortable environment. Usually it is the provider who is the more badly damaged, who chases after the narcissist because, As a result of their independence and self esteem having been ground down completely, the relationship has become a reference on which the victims well-being also balances. 

The narcissist uses this, because after having emotionally ended the relationship, all the effort is coming from the target, trying to fix things while feeling apologetic regardless that they were the provider. 

The police see that chase as being the target is the troublemaker. Empathic Psychologists see that as the target is having a breakdown because of what the narcissist has done to them. Most of the time, relationship breakdowns involve low-level narcissism from both sides. That’s actually quite normal because we’re dealing with humans and not robots.

This situation is exploited by the narcissist who created and projects it, only to exploit it. The narcissist can identify the target as being the abuser, for not supporting them fully in the way they need it, and for harassing them after they cut their losses. 

The narcissists support/supply network encourage the narcissist to avoid the victim who in their collective network is a bad person who must be avoided and punished if possible, for the injury they have caused to the narcissist. 

The source of this injury is her unwillingness to face a shame and he’s not recognizing his role in replaying her past trauma to heal it and the drama which has resulted from it. She does not want to heal it, she does not want to face that and so she involves her intimate partners in the circle around it, creating a black hole into which the part of falls, so that she can label that person as the bad guy to seek her revenge on the original trauma while at the same time not having to face it.

She will repeat the pattern in every relationship she has until somebody says sorry. 

At which point, if she accepts it she will feel superior and healing process can begin. 

Narcissism includes domination, superiority complex, grandiosity and aspiration; a specific social position which she wants to achieve. If it’s not achieved she feels a failure all her miserable life, once she has achieved it she will use that authority to maximize the size of her supply/support network. 

The Societies infrastructural systems support the narcissists ability to achieve such position of authority within it. A mental belief that anybody who does not respect its structure system is a threat to the society, is the reinforcement of the righteousness of narcissistic control. 

Those who can see the whole for what it is, correctly identifies the situation and the necessary steps towards healing the people involved; both the victim of the narcissist and the narcissist who is claiming to be the victim of her victim. In both cases, apologies are needed and needed to be accepted as authentic rather than lines spoken by actors for the sake of convenience. Narcissist rely on face value fakery, they are believable lawyers and expert actors.

Identifying a persons relationship with their own sense of insecurity, inferiority, shame and guilt, is essential for the counselor. The counselor must himself dedicate an unusually large amount of time to analyzing and identifying those factors about himself so as to be able to accurately do so for other people. 

Traditionally we use the word ‘shaman’ for one who does this. Shame-man. The word also means shah as in noble and relates to chi as in energy. In the west the Society refuses to acknowledge shaman to be a real thing. Shaman are counselors and community healers, reminding everybody always to live in balance, to respect the harmony. The society does however except the role of a professional counselor, one who understands psychology and emotional psychology, who fulfills the role within the society of healing trauma.

The cycle is: those abused by narcissist develop narcissistic tendencies which are then exploited by the narcissists. Narcissism is a reflex personality, growing from a traumatic experience. There are covert and overt narcissists. When it replaces a persons authentic and original personality it becomes a social problem for the community. There are varying levels of narcissism, and there are many energy exploitation strategies although they do typically conform to only a handful of types. 

As always, projection of an analysis on to the situation for the purpose of path-working and healing, must integrate that there may be other invisible factors or other systems of analysis which are more accurate to individual cases. 

Despite being the best tool we have, ‘the versus narcissism technique’ context based on identifying shame-reflex, is limited; it involves extremism and fundamentalism, left-brain thinking which narcissists epitomize as reptilian calculus and which are useful in making sense of the world for people who have been emotionally and mentally destabilized by involvement with narcissists. 

Remember, the narcissists favorite trick is to go public about how their victim has been narcissistically abusing them, as soon as the victim recognizes that they are being victimized. The narcissist will become aware their victim is waking up to them even before the victim does. They are usually gone and involving themselves in support groups, blackening the victims name, even before the victim in the mess of a breakdown fully realizes what has just happened to them.

“She needs to hear somebody say, I am sorry. And for her to believe it to accept it.”

This can be very difficult for narcissist who primarily does not want to confront their own shame, to the extent of deleting it entirely from their being. They have invested a lot of time in the personality and behavioral routines which have emerged as a result of not facing that shame. The amount of emotion and empathic ability a narcissist deletes is what places them where they are on the spectrum. 

Narcissists have problem with authenticity. Narcissists reject, resent, hate, and persecute, genuine authenticity, wholesomeness, the integrity to do the right thing. They are experts at the face value act of “being seen to be doing the right thing” for their own public image and supply-reward system. The difficulty in helping an assist through the healing process is that they will not accept authenticity because they do not/cannot resonate with it at all. 

Therefore, were a person who abused the narcissist as a child, to step into the room and say “I am so sorry for what I did, and I mean it”; the narcissist would not accept that as a reality. 

The structure of their being relies on multiple supply/support , a structure of orientation which dissolves as soon as they accept “I’m sorry”.  For them to be able to progress is normal people, they need to hear those words from somebody who they can accept it from, which is unlikely to be the original abuser.

Another major factor under recognition is narcissists have a heightened sense of expectancy, so what they perceive to be an abuse toward them is in many cases, the failing of the world in general to meet their higher than reasonable expectancy. 

That “daddy did not buy her a pony for Christmas” has triggered her lifelong antisocial behavior personality, is interpreted by her as being an abuse because she cannot accept with the child’s mind which narcissists operate from regardless of actual age. Instead it is interpreted as willful and malignant nastiness inflicted upon her by somebody who was supposed to support her but let her down; this becomes the model for the concept of ‘love’ which she will repeat in various forms with every relationship she has. 

She will only level out and stabilize in her behavior when she has to maintain public image in the eyes of society, usually only when she has achieved that superiority status of her world being put to right, that she feels settled now. For her to be able to attain that, she needs to persecute somebody is who she has dehumanized not only in her own mind but in the community around them. 

Narcissist require victims and they will invent them to achieve their goal. Others recognize that goal as grandiosity, superiority, dehumanization of others, while those who believe the paradigm created by the narcissist, along with a narcissist who projects it, recognize it to be accepted and normal. 

It is normal that everybody should have a pony for Christmas, everybody has a pony for Christmas, there is something wrong with people who don’t. The narcissist is clever. It is not actually a pony for Christmas which is the topic here, they call it the feeling of safety and that target who was woken up to them, they call a threat. 

Thus, when the narcissist leaves a relationship in which they have exploited behind closed doors that partner, the narcissist says that the person is a danger and has abused her. 

On her say-so, her victim is prosecuted for domestic abuse and gains a bad reputation by her supply network, which is an extended abuse network who do not even know him, simply to satisfy her need to appear to be a normal person in the community. What she has achieved by this is to maximize her yield of support/supply. She can get more energy from 10 or 20 people looking after her occasionally, then she can get from one person who has exclusively dedicated himself to that. 

For many men entering into relationships, this is the situation they are facing. Men are sacrificed to this cause all the time in the name of feminism. It is why the phrase ‘feminism is cancer’ has been coined by those who are aware of what is happening to our communities. 

The “Internet cult of narcissism” is 5th Wave feminism using social media to indoctrinate the general female culture with a blueprint strategy of divide-and-control. 

Female supremacy is domestic terrorism. It recruits vulnerable members of society to become its agents. It recruits female narcissist to become its agents. It blurs the line between those two agencies.

The role of men in the community is not to reinforce the ‘divide and control’ by avoiding all females, which is the MGTOW rhetoric. Historically, men are designed to physically, emotionally and mentally to be protectors. 

At this time in history, men’s best way of protecting everybody is to identify the enemy is an extremist philosophy which is brainwashing women against men. 

Somehow, men have got to get women to see that is what’s happening and for women to decide that in a world out of balance, the only way any of us can attain balance is by working together for the harmony, doing so knowledgeably. That genders are not ‘opposite’ but in fact are ‘complementary’. We are physically, mentally, emotionally designed for union and when we do so, divine pleasure results. 

The man is not trying to abuse her by deconditioning her away from a cult which is designed to destroy relationships and communities. He’s trying to protect her from it and from her own destructive, negative tendencies. 

If feminism was worthy of being accepted, it would be teaching women how better to get on with men; not how to exploit and punish them for not being women. 

For women to learn how better to get on with men, open communication with men who are of their own mind is preferable than projecting strawman arguments at them. 

Male Domestic Abuse Survivor

Back in counseling, because the state she left me in after invading my life. A service which I am paying for because I need it ASAP and the free charity services relied on by the state have an eighteen month waiting list for men because women get “emergency” preferential treatment. 

It was not until I read this website;

https://wwww.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-men-who-are-being-abused.htm

did I recognize that I had been putting up with domestic abuse. In my recent relationship, in previous relationships and all through my life. 

I’d thought all that crap was normal; because I experienced it most of my life in most of my relationships including from my parents during childhood. I had thought there was something wrong with me because an unrecognized feeling of discomfort and wrongness about what is expected of me and relationship routines I had accepted because I thought that was normal.  

I only recognized it as actually being abusive when I saw it listed in bullet point, and identified that’s what I’ve been through. Repeatedly. 

Almost the entire social recognition of domestic abuse and certainly that recognized by the court system, is that men are unilaterally abusive and women are unilaterally victims. It just ain’t so! 

It’s a cultural thing, not just personal to me. That I am a communicator and have been through so much of it, it’s obvious I’m going to be talking about it. 

A lot of the time, the abusers do not even recognize what they’re doing is abusive and neither do the victims. It is being culturally reinforced that it is normality for her to abuse him in a variety of ways and get away with it, partly because everybody knows the program; “we live in a male dominated culture and women are vulnerable!” We are told this every week! Because it serves an agenda!

Nobody thought it was wrong to have Negro slaves at the time in history where that was normal and everyday for a lot of people. 

Nobody outside of Islam thinks it is wrong to use a usury based currency system because it’s so normal to us, despite once having understood how the financial system works, it creates a black hole of debt that gets bigger exponentially, devaluing everything requiring more lending and higher interest rates in an endless loop. 

How can women get away with domestic abuse so often? Here are three reasons; 

1. Because nobody recognizes that’s what it is. 

2. Nobody stands up against it. Why don’t men stand up against their abusive girlfriends and tell them to fuck off? Because men need sex and women apparently don’t, at least that’s how most of them act toward most men most of the time and men are damned if we openly discuss it and suggest that women do actually need recreational sex regularly too. Abusers use sex as leverage to exploit and control men, the pleasure they get is from that as much empowerment and control as it is physical. It is controlling behavior, it is abuse. 

3. As soon as a victim of a narcissistic abuser recognize what is happening to them, the narcissist shouts and cries about how their victim is the abuser and they have been victimized. It is all about supply to them, except they call it support. As a result men are afraid to stand up against their abusers in case society punished them for it - which it ties, often involving police and legal system who unquestioningly protect the female and endorse her lies. 

This is what the mgtow movement (men going their own way) is about; recognizing the one thing of value which women have to men in modern times is sexual. It is also about the man recognizing his own worth.

Yet most of us desire to be in dedicated monogamous stable relationships. When people come together who can rise above all of that and maintain a level above all else, to enjoy mutual pleasure of each other without the accompanying bullshit. Without taking energy from a partner which is the black hole system of destruction all over again. 

It is about being respectable (deserving of being respected) by being respectable (in how we behave). 

Proxy Kill

Proxy Kill

"I will not hurt any student, and I will protect all learners from harm. I will remember that there is art to learning as well as science, and that caring, empathy, social, emotional and physical development are as critical as intellectual achievement. I will apply, for the benefit of each student, all available instructional supports and resources, in the knowledge and conviction that we each learn differently, and that everyone can learn." socratic-oath-for-educators



Socrates, the "father of western thinking" was forced by controlling society to drink poison for their perceived crime of corrupting youth.

0. pre-med

In the first decade of the 20th century, Snake Apple Tree wrote a serial of short stories entitled The Murder Chronicles (aka New Murder Fiction). 

It was published incomplete to www.snakeappletree.co.uk. 

This has nothing at all to do with;  Liang Yaosheng's works of same title or R. Barri Flowers works of same title or the-line-up's interactive fictions of same title or anybody else using the same title which quite clearly is collectively a shareware title under no formal copyright property. 

Snake Apple Tree's serial as a complete includes both the final (unpublished) chapter(s) and also other short stories not included in the published core. They were not published due to their personal nature. The serial is billed as being semi-fictionalized accounts of true stories. They are tales from the underground; official records always show very different versions of events. This is because the official versions are cover-ups by a corrupt society.

The following are chapters of the final novella (Proxy Kill) of the serial. 

IN MEMORANDUM. 

1. basis

Manufacturing a collective operational base which holds a paradigm and enforces it upon target. 

The paradigm enforces depression upon the target of such severe intensity that the target commits suicide.

Everybody says "its a shame" and enjoys their suffering of the loss of the target from the collective. 

In animal species we observe this behavior. Example, a murder of crows (collective noun for a flock of crows in English language is 'murder') will peck to death the weaker members of the flock, increasing the amount of available food scraps to scavenge for the stronger members. This maintains the health of the flock while being a bitch for the target. 

2. control

Trying to control the target. 

Enforcing a false paradigm, establishing it in the mind of zombi's as the officially endorsed collaborative agreement, the dominant narrative.

Instead of respecting nature, intuition, spirit. 

Aboriginal map of reality has three circles: the world of nature, the world of Spirits, the world of Humans. The world out of balance is the world which accepts only Humans as valid and Nature to be exploited, and dismisses the world of Spirit as make-belief.

Shaman integrate it as Truth. 

The excuse to protect 'vulnerables' from those who can and want to help.

The result is: 

Without help, the vulnerable kills him/her self.

3. Luci

Luci was 14. 

I was 28. 

I saved up and bought a Japanese fretless blue electric bass guitar. 

Luci saved up and bought a red electric fender guitar. 

The first time we met was in the street, both in the glow of yielding our tools which were finally in our possession, on that first day of ownership. 

Bang! 

There is magick in instruments. 

There is even more magick in music.

There is magick in the universe to have put this coincidence together. 

We are but cogs in an intergalactic, multi-dimensional machine the mechanics of which are far, far beyond our understanding. The very best we can hope for is to recognize some small glimpse of this, through the divine worshipful connection of, when we trust our intuition, when we let music flow through us without mind getting in the way, when we have sex. These are the three principles of divine worship.

Luci was dark and worshipped dark gods with blood and sex magic.

She had a shrine to black metal and goth. 

She had candles and spoke a language I have not heard in several incarnations. 

A young witch coming of age, wise far beyond her years and obsessed with Jungian Shadow. 

Luci and I did not have sex. 

We did play music.

We did talk about psychology. 

Luci was depressed and cutting herself deeper each time. 

I had recently finished doing counseling nvq2 and frustrated that the red-tape limitations of doing it professionally for money through the state would make any real attempt at actually fixing somebody, not possible. The girl needed emotional and mental support, she needed a hug. She needed a fuck but being only 14 in a nation which kills paedophiles and where the age of consent is 16, we did not go there. We could have and it was a potential between us. Some other lucky brat would have to sort her out that way. I proved my parental responsibility. We behaved in accordance with social conformity despite occasionally facing down natural instinct together. 

Our relationship was mostly defined by music tutor and counselor. I lent her cd's and guitar effects boxes. We both used the same software, so I taught her some of the tricks I have learned with it. It helped her to focus on creativity instead of self-destruction. Her family members who got to know me and who trusted me remarked the positive influence I was having on her. She stopped cutting so often. Her scars began to heal. 

The prejudice twats did not like me sniffing around a vulnerable minor. 

They did not like the age gap. 

They beat me up in the street. 

They knew where i lived.

I stopped visiting her. 

That was my mistake. 

She nose-dived.

She cut too deep.

She dead now. 

4. Popi

After the tragedy of Luci I traveled to get over it. 

I trusted my intuition and I went in that direction, regardless. 

I found myself in the Valley. 

From the outside, the Valley is the last retreat of free people in Britain.

It does have an internet site and it is described on there as;

"Survival lifestyle"

There are no facilities.

It is entirely based on people and people skills. 

A place where free people can go to develop skills not even known about by the city slaves and their mindless polluting conformity.  

Drink water and wash from the stream. 

Import food or grow your own. 

The Valley is surrounded by forest. 

The community is organized well enough that a daily shit-bucket collection takes your toilet from your bender and deposits it in the community compost. 

Kids born there are educated locally and not by state school. 

It is hardly Canada and the reserves, but its the closest thing to it in UK. 

Everybody knows everybody. 

Everybody knows everybody's business. 

A culture in miniature highlights the issues which all cultures face.

Politics is as rife in the Valley as it is in the city. 

It is also somewhat of a tourist venue for those curious and able to find it and get there. 

Everyone lives openly, which is to say everyone has the same STDs because with a very small population of very open minded people, liberal people gonna do what liberal people gonna do. 

Popi grew up there. 

At 15 Popi had enough. 

I heard about Popi. 

Popi a Bright in the context of the 2017 movie Bright (directed by David Ayer). 

Everybody loved her. 

Popi was the most free spirit the Valley had produced, of a population who uphold being a freespirit as the ultimate Human Right and Aspiration.

My intuition screamed at me that I have to connect with her.

As soon as possible. 

I asked around.

The community protect.

People do. 

"No mate, you ain't going near our Popi."

"Ye well thanks for making me feel like a wolf after a sheep but there's more to it than that." 

"We don't know you."

I looked her square in the eye.

"I am True. You don't know Truth."

I wasn't though. Had i been True i would have gone direct to her.
My mistake was a preconception that I needed to go through other people to find her.
The Valley works its mysterious charms; to take, to give, to set its own balance.

I knew that by connecting with Popi I could set her toward a path she needed to be on, and that it had to be me because nobody else could do it. Because of the primal nature of energy and how it dances, electromagnetic. I cannot explain this without sounding crazy to the crazy people. 

I had seen the girls spirit and connected with her in dream. Because brights stand out in the darkness and I have stared into that darkness so much that I can see the motions of brights, their colours which have meanings, where and how they flow, and ebb. I saw the imminence of her ebb.

The valley closed its cultural gates against me. 

I saw her ebb extinguish and I cried. 

Later, i heard that Popi had killed herself. 

Those who knew her explained, she had been trying to get away from the valley and its controlling culture. She had nowhere to go. 

I returned to my empty flat in the city which was a gate to so much of the multiverse. 

Another light gone out. 

5.Toni

Soon after that I encountered a young teenage boy crying on the back doorstep of a church at the back of my apartment. I asked him whats up? Sat next to him. Talked. He opened up to me. 

"Social services has forced me into adoption with a woman who does not feed me and hits me." 

He showed me the bruising.

"The teachers don't care. The police don't want to get involved. So I have run away. I don't know where to go." 

I could not take a vulnerable minor into my apartment alone without putting myself at risk. i do not operate that way. 

I was returning to my apartment to eat because I had not eaten for a day or two. Neither had Toni.

I suggested we buy food from the shop, which we did. Moving the body in walking is a step toward going forward, motion, holistic metabolic system regulating itself toward balance, starts the healing. He stopped crying and had a goal now, albeit temporary and small but the food would help.

He is eating my food, technically not my food but food I had bought. My energy is going into him with it. His configuration would shift and align with mine. This is how energy works. Idiots do not see it this way.

We discussed his friends and their parents being home, people who know him and can help. 

He was missing the hell out of his old friends, his old school, his old life. He had been banned form seeing any of them by his foster mother.

We visited his friend in another part of town. He was grateful that I knew the route. 

His friends parents were out and I did not want to drop him off there, it felt bad.

We visited another of his friends in another part of town. 

We borrowed the phone to call Toni's mother and she told him to fuck off.

The friend phoned his own mother and arranged Toni could stay the night there. 

She likes Toni and knows him well.

This felt good. The healing Toni needs even if only for one night.

I did not know what else to do.

Had I called the authorities, the police &/or social services, it would have betrayed Toni's trust for me and it would have caused him more problems. 

He would have run away again with nowhere to go.

He would lose trust in other people and his ability to trust others would be damaged.

Shaman are healers. We are advanced at emotional psychology and at psychology. 

We do our best to do the right thing.

I did not see Toni again but I did see a few of his friends sometime later who told me that he had gone back to his foster mother's and they hadn't heard of him since.

6. This list continues. 

Many more examples. People would rather drive their kids to suicide than allow a shaman to heal them. This is UK 21st century. I do not regard any of this to be my failing because I tried damn hard to prevent those who I could see are going to do it, from doing it. Everyone who was binding them to the path of self destruction did everything they could to get rid of me by labeling me as the danger element, as an unknown, as a potential risk. 

There is a beautiful tradition that by remembering to others the lesson of a persons life, is to honour that life.
 

©2018 Ordo Octopia